And when you want to live, how do you start, where do you go, who do you need to know?
It's been over two weeks since my last post, say whaaaa!
I have forgotten how to construct a narrative, so here are a bunch of statements I am trying to get out in this entry and from them I will make A Point:
I just got back from taking a way-too-long drive out to Fancy Town for their Fancy Shopping Center just to go to a bookstore, even though there is a bookstore ten minutes away. AND I dressed up in some of my new clothes (five dollar sweater! ten dollar skirt! forty dollar shoes okay that one not so much) for it, because I have these clothes and no place to wear them and it's starting to get very depressing. (I now have nine dollars in my bank account because these last few weeks I just don't give a shit anymore; there will always be another paycheck anyway.) Secretly I am hoping that one day during my nerd adventures I will meet a nice, quiet bloke and we will fall in love and bone! but I tell no one. I don't know where this idea came from that a bookstore is a good place to meet someone because ever since I was nine years old and started to go to Borders regularly with my mom I have spent an estimated 80 million hours in bookstores and have met Jack Shit. (And note to self, do not plan on meeting anyone at Fancy Town bookstore because that area is full of yuppies and any rare guy there who might be even a little bit attractive is married with kids.) The other week I was at our local bookstore and at the register I noticed that they had a stack of Patrick McCabe's The Butcher Boy behind the counter and I was like, "Hey I was looking for him! You never have him out. I just saw the movie for this two days ago." And the guy was like "I think a school is reading this, along with A Clockwork Orange," and I said something about how I can understand that pairing because the narrative of violence, and when I got out into the parking lot I was thinking to myself "I AM SO INTERESTING WHY DON'T I HAVE A BOYFRIEND WHAT GIVES??" And when I got home I told my mom this and she was like "OH HONEY YOU ARE INTERESTING AND BEAUTIFUL" and I was like "THANKS MOM *THUMBS-UP/WINK COMBO*". Also on a prior trip that cashier I was talking to about the book complimented me on my scarf and you would think this is might be an entry-way into "meeting someone at a bookstore" except this guy is in his mid-30s and overweight and has thinning hair and makes me go "sorry but do not want." I NEED TO FIND OUT WHERE THE HOT TAMALES WORK.
At the bookstore tonight I bought a postcard of Scarlett Johannson to feed my inner lesbian and then on the way home I sang along to Liz Phair's "Fuck and Run" on repeat and stopped at the video store to rent Bridget Jones's Diary (brb being ashamed), oh god my life I don't even. To be fair, since I watched the Oscars and the BAFTAs before that I've been wanting to see something with Colin Firth in it and since A Single Man isn't out yet I have to make due with what's available. I'm disgusted by how weight- and marriage-obsessed Bridget Jones is but I like that she's kind of a goofball who gets a happy ending, plus yes okay Hugh Grant and Colin Firth (don't judge me).
So, The Point: I don't know really. I know that I'm not a mutant and have some things going for me and I want to meet someone but don't know where to go to meet people (let alone how to meet people), but apparently it's not happing at bookstores.
p.s. Oh whyyy didn't I strike up a conversation with that guy who looked like Flans at the TMBG concert last October? He was there by himself AND LOOKED LIKE FLANS, FML.
I have forgotten how to construct a narrative, so here are a bunch of statements I am trying to get out in this entry and from them I will make A Point:
I just got back from taking a way-too-long drive out to Fancy Town for their Fancy Shopping Center just to go to a bookstore, even though there is a bookstore ten minutes away. AND I dressed up in some of my new clothes (five dollar sweater! ten dollar skirt! forty dollar shoes okay that one not so much) for it, because I have these clothes and no place to wear them and it's starting to get very depressing. (I now have nine dollars in my bank account because these last few weeks I just don't give a shit anymore; there will always be another paycheck anyway.) Secretly I am hoping that one day during my nerd adventures I will meet a nice, quiet bloke and we will fall in love and bone! but I tell no one. I don't know where this idea came from that a bookstore is a good place to meet someone because ever since I was nine years old and started to go to Borders regularly with my mom I have spent an estimated 80 million hours in bookstores and have met Jack Shit. (And note to self, do not plan on meeting anyone at Fancy Town bookstore because that area is full of yuppies and any rare guy there who might be even a little bit attractive is married with kids.) The other week I was at our local bookstore and at the register I noticed that they had a stack of Patrick McCabe's The Butcher Boy behind the counter and I was like, "Hey I was looking for him! You never have him out. I just saw the movie for this two days ago." And the guy was like "I think a school is reading this, along with A Clockwork Orange," and I said something about how I can understand that pairing because the narrative of violence, and when I got out into the parking lot I was thinking to myself "I AM SO INTERESTING WHY DON'T I HAVE A BOYFRIEND WHAT GIVES??" And when I got home I told my mom this and she was like "OH HONEY YOU ARE INTERESTING AND BEAUTIFUL" and I was like "THANKS MOM *THUMBS-UP/WINK COMBO*". Also on a prior trip that cashier I was talking to about the book complimented me on my scarf and you would think this is might be an entry-way into "meeting someone at a bookstore" except this guy is in his mid-30s and overweight and has thinning hair and makes me go "sorry but do not want." I NEED TO FIND OUT WHERE THE HOT TAMALES WORK.
At the bookstore tonight I bought a postcard of Scarlett Johannson to feed my inner lesbian and then on the way home I sang along to Liz Phair's "Fuck and Run" on repeat and stopped at the video store to rent Bridget Jones's Diary (brb being ashamed), oh god my life I don't even. To be fair, since I watched the Oscars and the BAFTAs before that I've been wanting to see something with Colin Firth in it and since A Single Man isn't out yet I have to make due with what's available. I'm disgusted by how weight- and marriage-obsessed Bridget Jones is but I like that she's kind of a goofball who gets a happy ending, plus yes okay Hugh Grant and Colin Firth (don't judge me).
So, The Point: I don't know really. I know that I'm not a mutant and have some things going for me and I want to meet someone but don't know where to go to meet people (let alone how to meet people), but apparently it's not happing at bookstores.
p.s. Oh whyyy didn't I strike up a conversation with that guy who looked like Flans at the TMBG concert last October? He was there by himself AND LOOKED LIKE FLANS, FML.