from the corners of my mouth

[johnnyfavorite]

I saw this WikiHow article linked from Google’s home page today, and thought it was something I could learn from, so I read it. This is the most unnerving thing in there: Consider that a person whom you detest is invariably your “perfect” mirror - they are just like you.Okay, that’s a pretty ugly thing to think about. I’ll try to trace along the

Comments

Chewing the Fat

[agmsmith]

It's an interesting technique for making people think about how they treat other people and how others treat them. But that's usually automatically done by the desire of people to chew over details of unusual social situations (perhaps thinking intensely instead of sleeping), often invoking their peers by recounting the events and trying to get them to agree with their own conclusions ("I did the right thing, didn't I?").

So, why is that mirror technique needed? Perhaps because some people don't think often enough about their life and their impact on other people? You mentioned that griping at relatives doing a bad job raising their children didn't get received too well. I wonder if they ever though about how they affect other people, or if they were totally oblivious all the time. Is introspection something that needs training? Do some people just not have the capability to think about how they affect others? Or maybe they can't detect unusual social situations and thus never worry about them. Hmmm, could be a thesis topic for some psychology student to look into...

Re: Chewing the Fat

[johnnyfavorite]

i should mention, for the benefit of everybody who might be reading, that i have two half-sisters, one older than me, one younger. i have some disagreements with the older one, but i think that relationship is on the mend. i particularly like her kids. it's the younger one who i haven't spoken to in years, who is in my opinion a weak, petty, egotistical liar. i bet i'll be writing about both of these people more in the future. it is time.

i absolutely do believe in that mirroring technique. i have a strong personality, so i see it all the time. i have the power to drag a conversation in a certain direction. my expressions will be copied by others. just yesterday morning i was having a conversation with a total stranger in a divey little restaurant that ended with him saying "you're right, i never thought of it like that." so why, then, am i almost never successful in getting the bigger things in my life to go my way? that's the question i need an answer for.

how about you? you talked about mirroring in a sort of detached way. do you see it in your own life? i am honestly curious. i know i have some bizarre quirks that separate me from most people. i am trying to figure out what's going on there.

the only reason i didn't wholeheartedly embrace mirroring in this particular entry is because if i follow that thread to its logical conclusion, it is going to make me look very bad indeed. i don't like thinking about the people i despise. it's not a large group, but wow, what a lot of fail in there.