I guess there is the possibility that we could part ways ...
Stop right there.
As you are no doubt aware, there have been earlier people who had more or less the same role in my life that you are currently occupying. In at least one of those cases, I gave that person pretty much all I had to give, as I am doing with you now. But in those days, the most I had to give was about a tenth of what I’m capable of today. Time, money, effort, hair-pulling, relocation, babysitting, truck rental, hole extraction, tech support, court dates ... I could go on. You know I could go on.
I don’t know if other people do this, but I personally require a lot of goading to make it through the day. Getting out of bed, taking a shower, deciding what to eat, what to wear, what to do next. I have to push myself to make all those little decisions. This requires lots of internal cheerleading. If I’m by myself, I say these things out loud. If I’m not, they are voiced only inside my head. These days, about 80 percent of those cheers have your name in them.
If you did not exist, I would have to create you. In fact, this has already happened. You are about the fourth incarnation of the idealized internal daughter I have in my head.
Why is it that, for me, the primary relationship in my life has to be father/daughter? Who knows. But there it is. It seemed pretty non-obvious to me, too. Which is why it took me so long to figure it out.
One of these days, I am going to die. Due to them not not understanding me at all, not one tiny little bit, my relatives are going to try to have the most gut-wrenching, fake, treacly, smarmy, insincere, anti-me funeral in the world. It doesn’t matter how many wills I write or how many lawyers are involved, I will not be able to prevent this. You have met several of my relatives, so this should come as no shock to you. I will be forced to come back from the grave and murder them all. To prevent this from happening, you are going to have to take charge of this proceeding and head them off at the pass. You will have to curb their worst tendencies with extreme prejudice. It will be your solemn duty.
In short, Steph, you owe me. You are not getting away from me. Ever. Not until I’m dead, anyway.
This has come up before - I know my requirements after you're gone. I don't know what the legal paperwork involved has to say to ensure that I can legally perform that duty, but I'm sure it exists. Even if we did have a blowup, I don't hold grudges the way you're capable of doing and you can rest assured that if for whatever reason we don't stay friends, death is plenty enough reason for me to swallow any pride and sort out the situation the way I know you'd want it to be.
It is pretty amusing that after all of what you've done this is the one thing you want assurance of my handling. This is where you want your payback. Not that it'll be the only way I'll eventually pay you back or that I take issue with your wishes, it just seems strange that your funeral is what you're concerned about. How many of those relatives will even be alive by then? I guess we'll see. It will be pretty damn funny if your sister is the one I wind up having to contend with. That would be the ultimate in ironic hilarity.
Stop right there.
As you are no doubt aware, there have been earlier people who had more or less the same role in my life that you are currently occupying. In at least one of those cases, I gave that person pretty much all I had to give, as I am doing with you now. But in those days, the most I had to give was about a tenth of what I’m capable of today. Time, money, effort, hair-pulling, relocation, babysitting, truck rental, hole extraction, tech support, court dates ... I could go on. You know I could go on.
I don’t know if other people do this, but I personally require a lot of goading to make it through the day. Getting out of bed, taking a shower, deciding what to eat, what to wear, what to do next. I have to push myself to make all those little decisions. This requires lots of internal cheerleading. If I’m by myself, I say these things out loud. If I’m not, they are voiced only inside my head. These days, about 80 percent of those cheers have your name in them.
If you did not exist, I would have to create you. In fact, this has already happened. You are about the fourth incarnation of the idealized internal daughter I have in my head.
Why is it that, for me, the primary relationship in my life has to be father/daughter? Who knows. But there it is. It seemed pretty non-obvious to me, too. Which is why it took me so long to figure it out.
One of these days, I am going to die. Due to them not not understanding me at all, not one tiny little bit, my relatives are going to try to have the most gut-wrenching, fake, treacly, smarmy, insincere, anti-me funeral in the world. It doesn’t matter how many wills I write or how many lawyers are involved, I will not be able to prevent this. You have met several of my relatives, so this should come as no shock to you. I will be forced to come back from the grave and murder them all. To prevent this from happening, you are going to have to take charge of this proceeding and head them off at the pass. You will have to curb their worst tendencies with extreme prejudice. It will be your solemn duty.
In short, Steph, you owe me. You are not getting away from me. Ever. Not until I’m dead, anyway.
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This has come up before - I know my requirements after you're gone. I don't know what the legal paperwork involved has to say to ensure that I can legally perform that duty, but I'm sure it exists. Even if we did have a blowup, I don't hold grudges the way you're capable of doing and you can rest assured that if for whatever reason we don't stay friends, death is plenty enough reason for me to swallow any pride and sort out the situation the way I know you'd want it to be.
It is pretty amusing that after all of what you've done this is the one thing you want assurance of my handling. This is where you want your payback. Not that it'll be the only way I'll eventually pay you back or that I take issue with your wishes, it just seems strange that your funeral is what you're concerned about. How many of those relatives will even be alive by then? I guess we'll see. It will be pretty damn funny if your sister is the one I wind up having to contend with. That would be the ultimate in ironic hilarity.
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yeah, the relatives of mine you've met may be gone by then, but there are a lot more that you haven't met.
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