(no subject)
Fuck Tibet. There, I said it. In all honesty, I don't know anywhere near enough about the ins and outs of Tibetan/Chinese relationships stretching back hundreds of years to comment intelligently on the issue (I pride myself on such restraint in this age of ill-informed, knee-jerk, flock-following, reactionary, black-hats-and-white-hats stances and opinions) but what I do know if that if there's one country you don't want to piss off, and one time you don't want to do it- it's China and it's right now. Which makes the recent protest by some people who unfurled a huge flag in Beijing saying 'Free Tibet' utterly stupid on two counts- not only have they riled the local Government they also, as my friend Shaggy pointed out, tried to make a point to China by writing their sign in English when Madarin may well have been a bit more useful.
On Friday, the Olympic Games will start in Beijing with an utterly baffling all-singing, all-dancing, lights show of an opening ceremony at precisely 8pm local time on the date 08/08/08. Handily for China, 8 is seen as a lucky number in that part of the world (though you knew that already, you've seen the HSBC advert) which is all well and good as everyone involved is hoping that the whole shebang and the subsequent 3 weeks of sports goes off smoothly in front of the prying eyes of a curious planet.
As ever the Olympics promises to be, despite what FIFA might claim about the perpetually disappointing World Cup, the Greatest Show on Earth. Entire lifetimes of training and preperation will come to nothing or everything dependent on a tenth of a second; people will do some things better than anyone has ever done those things in the whole history of human achievement; some competitors will just turn up, do their best, be noticed by hardly anyone and go home again. Also, and it's really worth putting a bet on this if you ask me, an American swimmer by the name of Michael Phelps may well earn more gold medals than the whole of Great Britain.
Understandably, the Chinese authorities are a little tetchy at the moment about everything going to plan and, lest we forget, this is a regime somewhat unused to being challenged and not renowned for meeting it's opponents halfway. This, of course, hasn't stopped thousands of people all over the world deciding that the Olympics in Beijing is a good time to highlight a few issues that they have with the world's most populous nation. Mostly this has revolved around the Chinese occupation of Tibet which has meant the little nation suddenly becomeing one of the most (in)famous on Earth rather than just the place where Christian Bale went to in order to become Batman.
Now, as I said before, I don't know enough about Tibet and China's past to really make my mind up (I know what people who want China out of Tibet say about it, but frankly they're the sort of people who are always biased against superpowers so for all I know Tibetans could be a right bunch of bastards whose national dish is Care Bears on toast) but I've really begun to hate the protestors who've doggedly tried to make a nuisance of themselves towards the Chinese at every turn over recent months. This isn't an easy stance for me to take as it makes me feel utterly ashamed for even thinking it- after all these are people who stand up for something they believe in and stand to make little personal gain other than the satisfaction of knowing they've tried to help the plight of a little nation on the other side of the planet. In this day and age, anyone who believes stuanchly in anything other than who their favourite X-Factor contestant is should be roundly applauded, and I genuinely want to be the person clapping them loudest of all.
But I can't, not in this case. Because one of their number did something utterly aggregious, immoral and repellant. Whatever anyone might think of China and Tibet, nothing can excuse what this person, this wretch, this utter, utter shit did. because one of the protestors attacked Konnie Huq. She was carrying the Olympic torch through London on it's worldwide relay from Greece to China when, as I'm sure you saw, a protestor tried to grab it from her hand to disrupt proceedings and instantly cause China to withdraw all froces from Tibetan soil immediately. Either that or he was desperate to light a fag. (Incidentally, the furore surrounding the torch relay has led the London Olympic committee to decree that there will be no relay in 2012- probably terrified that the torch will be constantly attacked by agreived Northern Rock customers).
I'm all for making a point in the name of world peace and unity but there really is no need to make it by assaulting the delightful Ms. Huq. Especially as she has the potential to bring an end to all conflict throughout the world, much like Wyld Stallyns did at the end of 'Bill and Ted's Bogus Jounrey'. She is eminently fanciable in a way that all men and lesbians can appreciate irrespetive of her skin colour or ethnic origin, a potentially vital tool in destroying the spread of always-male-dominated far-right doctrine. Women, meanwhile, who are becoming alienated and frustrated by airbrushed icons of female perfection dominating the world can take solace in the fact that here is an undeniably beautiful woman who actually, on closer reflection, has weird eyes and a mouth that could charitably be described as 'wonky'. A strike against Konnie Huq is a strike in the face of the forces of peace and togetherness.
Manhandling ethnic sexboats aside, many protestors against China's place in Tibet have denounced the Olympics for deciding to host their quad-annual shindig in the country and pleaded with competitors not to attend in order to make a point about the situation. This idea is possibly the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, and I've heard a Keith Richards solo album. How dare anyone suggest that sport should be an arbiter of world affairs? Can people who happens to be blessed with the God given ability to run, jump, throw, swim, cycle or such better than almost anyone else and then put in the punishing hours to hone their talent to perfection be asked to give up their dreams in order to make a point that, and this is just my opinion, could be better debated and settled by the people who we all fucking well elected to do it?
Why don't we just leave them to get on with the business of sport, with it's refreshing mix of acute drama and utter lack of consequence, and leave the politicians of the world to face the protests about how the planet is run? Though, to be fair, if they were actually any good (or, indeed, interested) in creating hope and unity across the globe, maybe the Olympics wouldn't get dragged down and sullied by a situtation of their making in the first place. It looks like there might only be one thing left for us to do.
The campaign 'Konnie Huq for World President' starts here.
On Friday, the Olympic Games will start in Beijing with an utterly baffling all-singing, all-dancing, lights show of an opening ceremony at precisely 8pm local time on the date 08/08/08. Handily for China, 8 is seen as a lucky number in that part of the world (though you knew that already, you've seen the HSBC advert) which is all well and good as everyone involved is hoping that the whole shebang and the subsequent 3 weeks of sports goes off smoothly in front of the prying eyes of a curious planet.
As ever the Olympics promises to be, despite what FIFA might claim about the perpetually disappointing World Cup, the Greatest Show on Earth. Entire lifetimes of training and preperation will come to nothing or everything dependent on a tenth of a second; people will do some things better than anyone has ever done those things in the whole history of human achievement; some competitors will just turn up, do their best, be noticed by hardly anyone and go home again. Also, and it's really worth putting a bet on this if you ask me, an American swimmer by the name of Michael Phelps may well earn more gold medals than the whole of Great Britain.
Understandably, the Chinese authorities are a little tetchy at the moment about everything going to plan and, lest we forget, this is a regime somewhat unused to being challenged and not renowned for meeting it's opponents halfway. This, of course, hasn't stopped thousands of people all over the world deciding that the Olympics in Beijing is a good time to highlight a few issues that they have with the world's most populous nation. Mostly this has revolved around the Chinese occupation of Tibet which has meant the little nation suddenly becomeing one of the most (in)famous on Earth rather than just the place where Christian Bale went to in order to become Batman.
Now, as I said before, I don't know enough about Tibet and China's past to really make my mind up (I know what people who want China out of Tibet say about it, but frankly they're the sort of people who are always biased against superpowers so for all I know Tibetans could be a right bunch of bastards whose national dish is Care Bears on toast) but I've really begun to hate the protestors who've doggedly tried to make a nuisance of themselves towards the Chinese at every turn over recent months. This isn't an easy stance for me to take as it makes me feel utterly ashamed for even thinking it- after all these are people who stand up for something they believe in and stand to make little personal gain other than the satisfaction of knowing they've tried to help the plight of a little nation on the other side of the planet. In this day and age, anyone who believes stuanchly in anything other than who their favourite X-Factor contestant is should be roundly applauded, and I genuinely want to be the person clapping them loudest of all.
But I can't, not in this case. Because one of their number did something utterly aggregious, immoral and repellant. Whatever anyone might think of China and Tibet, nothing can excuse what this person, this wretch, this utter, utter shit did. because one of the protestors attacked Konnie Huq. She was carrying the Olympic torch through London on it's worldwide relay from Greece to China when, as I'm sure you saw, a protestor tried to grab it from her hand to disrupt proceedings and instantly cause China to withdraw all froces from Tibetan soil immediately. Either that or he was desperate to light a fag. (Incidentally, the furore surrounding the torch relay has led the London Olympic committee to decree that there will be no relay in 2012- probably terrified that the torch will be constantly attacked by agreived Northern Rock customers).
I'm all for making a point in the name of world peace and unity but there really is no need to make it by assaulting the delightful Ms. Huq. Especially as she has the potential to bring an end to all conflict throughout the world, much like Wyld Stallyns did at the end of 'Bill and Ted's Bogus Jounrey'. She is eminently fanciable in a way that all men and lesbians can appreciate irrespetive of her skin colour or ethnic origin, a potentially vital tool in destroying the spread of always-male-dominated far-right doctrine. Women, meanwhile, who are becoming alienated and frustrated by airbrushed icons of female perfection dominating the world can take solace in the fact that here is an undeniably beautiful woman who actually, on closer reflection, has weird eyes and a mouth that could charitably be described as 'wonky'. A strike against Konnie Huq is a strike in the face of the forces of peace and togetherness.
Manhandling ethnic sexboats aside, many protestors against China's place in Tibet have denounced the Olympics for deciding to host their quad-annual shindig in the country and pleaded with competitors not to attend in order to make a point about the situation. This idea is possibly the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, and I've heard a Keith Richards solo album. How dare anyone suggest that sport should be an arbiter of world affairs? Can people who happens to be blessed with the God given ability to run, jump, throw, swim, cycle or such better than almost anyone else and then put in the punishing hours to hone their talent to perfection be asked to give up their dreams in order to make a point that, and this is just my opinion, could be better debated and settled by the people who we all fucking well elected to do it?
Why don't we just leave them to get on with the business of sport, with it's refreshing mix of acute drama and utter lack of consequence, and leave the politicians of the world to face the protests about how the planet is run? Though, to be fair, if they were actually any good (or, indeed, interested) in creating hope and unity across the globe, maybe the Olympics wouldn't get dragged down and sullied by a situtation of their making in the first place. It looks like there might only be one thing left for us to do.
The campaign 'Konnie Huq for World President' starts here.