In Which Pitr Talks For Too Long About Hellboy
So, no spoilers (although there ain't much to spoil (which in itself is basically a spoiler, I guess)), but Hellboy II: The Golden Army does not work.
I don't want to go into too much depth if there are people reading this who are planning on seeing it, because I'm not going to say anything worthy of a spoiler cut but at the same time I respect people wanting to see it pure. HOWEVER, it was pretty dismal. I feel extra-stupid since I went to the opening night midnight show, which was actually really irresponsible given my work/sleep needs for today. I don't think I ever would have liked it, but now I have that inescapable insult-to-injury feeling you get when you know it really wasn't worth the Bad Decision.
I wanted to like it, I really did. I actually had been thinking, literally earlier yesterday, about how even though I guess I have this reputation of being really picky and hating lots of movies if they don't meet my standards of excellence and how I always talk about how "adequate" can be worse and more upsetting than "awful," the fact of the matter is, when it comes to Nerd Movies, I'm extremely forgiving. It's not surprising, of course, given that I'm not only trained to like the genre, but I also consider myself highly invested in the success of mainstream Nerd media. Which is to say, I want them to be good, not just for the end of my own enjoyment, but so that more people across the nation will become more accustomed to the notion that this stuff can be Good, not just in a niche market, but to anyone. This desire, this hope for a mass socializing of the genre, helps me to love a lot of half-baked films that the public is usually mixed or worse on.
I liked Hancock, despite its many flaws. I'm a fan of both Hulks, and a really big fan of the newest. The first Hellboy, Superman Returns, I feel unquestionably positive about them all, despite how familiar I have become with people's complaints about them.
But Hellboy II was just plain not a very good movie.
Obviously this is much more a post about my own entry point to Nerd Movies and less about Hellboy itself, partially for the aforementioned spoiler aversion, partially because I don't feel like writing PITR'S REVIEW OF THIS MOVIE.
I will say that Myers, the POV everyman from the first one, is not here, and the more I think about it, the more that's a central flaw. Hellboy, at least in the movie branch of the franchise, does not work as a protagonist. He's tough and cool, but for all my love for him and the franchise, he is not very interesting. The exception to this is his whole OH BTW HE'S DESTINED TO BRING ABOUT THE APOCALYPSE REMEMBER THAT PART WHERE HE'S FROM HELL, which obviously served as the central plot point of the first movie, so I'm not surprised to see it largely left out of this one. However, it's no coincidence that the best scene in the film is the one that comes back to this point, (a scene in which Hellboy himself does not talk or do anything; just saying). If you're not going to use this, though, Hellboy is just basically a big red Vin Diesel, and that never goes well for a main character. Myers gave the first movie this whole "My god I had no idea the world was so weird" quality. With Hellboy as the main focus (and is he? is it Liz? hard to say, surprisingly), it becomes much flatter and more just "I hit monster, k?"
Also the creature design is overwhelmingly just Pan's Labyrinth 2, which is fine, but distracting. Also the humor is embarrassingly broad and easy and REALLY unfunny. Also it turns out that David Hyde Pierce's voice, absent in this installment, was surprisingly essential to not hating Abe Sapien.
Ugh I actually have a lot more thoughts on this, but I've already written a lot more about this than I intended, making it probably my longest LJ post in like six months or something. About fucking Hellboy goddamn II.
PITR OUT
I don't want to go into too much depth if there are people reading this who are planning on seeing it, because I'm not going to say anything worthy of a spoiler cut but at the same time I respect people wanting to see it pure. HOWEVER, it was pretty dismal. I feel extra-stupid since I went to the opening night midnight show, which was actually really irresponsible given my work/sleep needs for today. I don't think I ever would have liked it, but now I have that inescapable insult-to-injury feeling you get when you know it really wasn't worth the Bad Decision.
I wanted to like it, I really did. I actually had been thinking, literally earlier yesterday, about how even though I guess I have this reputation of being really picky and hating lots of movies if they don't meet my standards of excellence and how I always talk about how "adequate" can be worse and more upsetting than "awful," the fact of the matter is, when it comes to Nerd Movies, I'm extremely forgiving. It's not surprising, of course, given that I'm not only trained to like the genre, but I also consider myself highly invested in the success of mainstream Nerd media. Which is to say, I want them to be good, not just for the end of my own enjoyment, but so that more people across the nation will become more accustomed to the notion that this stuff can be Good, not just in a niche market, but to anyone. This desire, this hope for a mass socializing of the genre, helps me to love a lot of half-baked films that the public is usually mixed or worse on.
I liked Hancock, despite its many flaws. I'm a fan of both Hulks, and a really big fan of the newest. The first Hellboy, Superman Returns, I feel unquestionably positive about them all, despite how familiar I have become with people's complaints about them.
But Hellboy II was just plain not a very good movie.
Obviously this is much more a post about my own entry point to Nerd Movies and less about Hellboy itself, partially for the aforementioned spoiler aversion, partially because I don't feel like writing PITR'S REVIEW OF THIS MOVIE.
I will say that Myers, the POV everyman from the first one, is not here, and the more I think about it, the more that's a central flaw. Hellboy, at least in the movie branch of the franchise, does not work as a protagonist. He's tough and cool, but for all my love for him and the franchise, he is not very interesting. The exception to this is his whole OH BTW HE'S DESTINED TO BRING ABOUT THE APOCALYPSE REMEMBER THAT PART WHERE HE'S FROM HELL, which obviously served as the central plot point of the first movie, so I'm not surprised to see it largely left out of this one. However, it's no coincidence that the best scene in the film is the one that comes back to this point, (a scene in which Hellboy himself does not talk or do anything; just saying). If you're not going to use this, though, Hellboy is just basically a big red Vin Diesel, and that never goes well for a main character. Myers gave the first movie this whole "My god I had no idea the world was so weird" quality. With Hellboy as the main focus (and is he? is it Liz? hard to say, surprisingly), it becomes much flatter and more just "I hit monster, k?"
Also the creature design is overwhelmingly just Pan's Labyrinth 2, which is fine, but distracting. Also the humor is embarrassingly broad and easy and REALLY unfunny. Also it turns out that David Hyde Pierce's voice, absent in this installment, was surprisingly essential to not hating Abe Sapien.
Ugh I actually have a lot more thoughts on this, but I've already written a lot more about this than I intended, making it probably my longest LJ post in like six months or something. About fucking Hellboy goddamn II.
PITR OUT