yeah, i got a date on valentines day
i got a date with the front door of the blue martini, thats what. i dont know if it will be busy or slammed tomorrow...but i'll be wearing my new suit (again) for the occasion. i like wearing ties.
i also have a spanish test tomorrow. i should do well. we haven't been tested on speaking, and thats the only thing i can't do with the materials we've learned so far.
spanish presentation project is thursday. i got a ukranian kid who is very smart, a total dumb ass, and then me. i picked the project, assigned jobs, wrote everyone's lines (we can't use post cards for the 5 minutes that we're up), and i created the power point presentation. the foreigner is helping and contributing, but the dumb ass can hardly keep up with what little i tasked him to do.
that story was a lead in.
ive found that my patience is wearing so very thin lately....lately as in the last year. at grandma's funeral, my dad's best friend bob said i shared a lot more than looks with my dad...i was talking about my spanish thing with him, and he interrupted saying "you got your daddy's temper!" and laughed. i didnt think it was funny...which essentially proved his point. am i becoming my father, even though im trying not to?
my situation in the past year has certainly not been conducive to improving my patience threshold. ive been rocked relentlessly by financial, emotional, and romantic problems. frustrations inevitably build up inside, and with more on my table that shift with such irregularity, i find myself with more input to frustrate me further, and more outlets for unleashing tension. i used to have video games that i would play, at least an hour a day, but i can't afford them anymore. i used to have a girlfriend, where affections seemed to melt my surface problems right away. i can't afford a girlfriend right now either (haha), financially or emotionally. im definitely not ready for that at all. ive got a great hobby, poker. but like my relationships, it can be the source of my highest elations or my darkest of depressions. the free poker doesn't interest me anymore. playing with them is a guaranteed occasion for frustration because of their horrible play. and playing with cash is a luxury i can afford rarely, and its the only chance at a fulfilling session in poker. and even then, its only still a chance. (if you haven't noticed, i can relate everything about life with poker).
so im looking at all im faced with and i compare it to the things i have going for me. i conclude that this behavior of mine will change. i'll get better. its called variance. in poker, thats the scientific word for luck. if you're on the upside of variance, you just can't lose. like jamie gold in last years world series main event. 9/10 people who watched him play would only say that he was lucky. he'll probably never win another major tournament.
im just on a little landslide in my life right now. i'll get a break one day, whether it be getting a better job, running into a little money, or meeting a great woman. once one happens, it will improve my demeanor and attitude, which will increase the odds of other great things to happen for me. i just gotta ride it out till then. im not worried about becoming the bad things about my father. i know i possess them, but they're not going to be my default form of expression.
i wont let it.
i also have a spanish test tomorrow. i should do well. we haven't been tested on speaking, and thats the only thing i can't do with the materials we've learned so far.
spanish presentation project is thursday. i got a ukranian kid who is very smart, a total dumb ass, and then me. i picked the project, assigned jobs, wrote everyone's lines (we can't use post cards for the 5 minutes that we're up), and i created the power point presentation. the foreigner is helping and contributing, but the dumb ass can hardly keep up with what little i tasked him to do.
that story was a lead in.
ive found that my patience is wearing so very thin lately....lately as in the last year. at grandma's funeral, my dad's best friend bob said i shared a lot more than looks with my dad...i was talking about my spanish thing with him, and he interrupted saying "you got your daddy's temper!" and laughed. i didnt think it was funny...which essentially proved his point. am i becoming my father, even though im trying not to?
my situation in the past year has certainly not been conducive to improving my patience threshold. ive been rocked relentlessly by financial, emotional, and romantic problems. frustrations inevitably build up inside, and with more on my table that shift with such irregularity, i find myself with more input to frustrate me further, and more outlets for unleashing tension. i used to have video games that i would play, at least an hour a day, but i can't afford them anymore. i used to have a girlfriend, where affections seemed to melt my surface problems right away. i can't afford a girlfriend right now either (haha), financially or emotionally. im definitely not ready for that at all. ive got a great hobby, poker. but like my relationships, it can be the source of my highest elations or my darkest of depressions. the free poker doesn't interest me anymore. playing with them is a guaranteed occasion for frustration because of their horrible play. and playing with cash is a luxury i can afford rarely, and its the only chance at a fulfilling session in poker. and even then, its only still a chance. (if you haven't noticed, i can relate everything about life with poker).
so im looking at all im faced with and i compare it to the things i have going for me. i conclude that this behavior of mine will change. i'll get better. its called variance. in poker, thats the scientific word for luck. if you're on the upside of variance, you just can't lose. like jamie gold in last years world series main event. 9/10 people who watched him play would only say that he was lucky. he'll probably never win another major tournament.
im just on a little landslide in my life right now. i'll get a break one day, whether it be getting a better job, running into a little money, or meeting a great woman. once one happens, it will improve my demeanor and attitude, which will increase the odds of other great things to happen for me. i just gotta ride it out till then. im not worried about becoming the bad things about my father. i know i possess them, but they're not going to be my default form of expression.
i wont let it.