(no subject)
Happenstance threw a picture of you in my path,
so I humored it for a bit.
As I stared at you, at lines on your face that I'm sure were never there,
I found myself asking how it was that I could ever have fallen for you as deeply as I had.
Then I realized that I was seeing things incorrectly.
I shouldn't have been questioning how it was that things had come to be.
I mean, it's not that you are now someone who I could never immerse myself in.
Although that is quite true.
You didn't become something you were not, leaving me to find disgust in you.
Rather, I finally realized that happenstance threw you in my path early on enough
that I was able to have you pure and unadulterated before the world could sink its claws in you.
You are not to blame, and certainly neither am I.
Neither of us could have known that you were not strong enough to withstand the lambasting
that life would throw your way, as it does us all.
I think, what I'm trying to say here is that it finally hit me, y'know?
As I looked at you smiling I suddenly stopped seeing it as a pale imitation of the happiness you once had.
I stopped seeing you as the hollowed out home that once held hope.
Truly, if you were going to have been more, seen more, scratched, crawled, bled for more.
You would have.
I think, what I'm trying to tell you is that now I no longer see you
for what I had always thought you could have been.
I just see you for what it is that you are.
I think, what I want you to know is that I don't resent what you never became anymore.
I think, what I'd like for you to understand is that I see that you never had it in you.
so I humored it for a bit.
As I stared at you, at lines on your face that I'm sure were never there,
I found myself asking how it was that I could ever have fallen for you as deeply as I had.
Then I realized that I was seeing things incorrectly.
I shouldn't have been questioning how it was that things had come to be.
I mean, it's not that you are now someone who I could never immerse myself in.
Although that is quite true.
You didn't become something you were not, leaving me to find disgust in you.
Rather, I finally realized that happenstance threw you in my path early on enough
that I was able to have you pure and unadulterated before the world could sink its claws in you.
You are not to blame, and certainly neither am I.
Neither of us could have known that you were not strong enough to withstand the lambasting
that life would throw your way, as it does us all.
I think, what I'm trying to say here is that it finally hit me, y'know?
As I looked at you smiling I suddenly stopped seeing it as a pale imitation of the happiness you once had.
I stopped seeing you as the hollowed out home that once held hope.
Truly, if you were going to have been more, seen more, scratched, crawled, bled for more.
You would have.
I think, what I'm trying to tell you is that now I no longer see you
for what I had always thought you could have been.
I just see you for what it is that you are.
I think, what I want you to know is that I don't resent what you never became anymore.
I think, what I'd like for you to understand is that I see that you never had it in you.