This Guy has it figured out:
http://www.zefrank.com/valentine/ . Best diatribe on Valentines I've ever heard.
Poor Bastard:
http://www.cantonese.sheik.co.uk/essays/tattoos.htm Word of the Day: Diatribe - 1. A discourse, disquisition, critical dissertation. arch. 2. In modern use: A dissertation or discourse directed against some person or work; a bitter and violent criticism; an invective. Hence
diatribe v. intr., to utter a diatribe; to inveigh bitterly
Essay time...