The Rolling Barber Shop
Have you ever been to a barber shop that caters primarily to African Americans? The kind that often lie in neighborhoods that are a little, shall we say, lower income? If so, then you know they can be fascinating places.
If you don't believe that men gosip, then go and visit one. It's a little brutal actually: you can see someone holding a conversation with a person, and once that individual leaves, the person will immediately begin talking quite negatively about him.
Why do I bring this up, you ask? Well I encountered a similar situation on the bus as I came over to the university today. The driver sat up front and, as usual, yacked with each person who came through the door. As I boarded, I think the guy beside me had ridden around on the line a couple times for the sole purpose of continuing to hold up a conversation.
"Hey man, how you doing," he asked the driver. The driver responded, and the man then said "I'm sad man. I gotta get a job! My girl left me and I gotta get her back. She thinks I lack motivation." The driver replied: "Ah man I've been there. You're fine, just keep at it. Life out here is crazy, and if your woman don't understand that then oh well."
Shortly after this, the other man disembarked. Then another person who reminded me shockingly of one of my co-workers from Lions Services, both in tone of voice and how he conducted the conversation, began to speak. "So, what do you think of that guy," he asked the driver. "What do you mean?" "I mean how do you rate him. How hard do you really think he's trying." "Well, I don't really know, probably not very hard. He seems kinda lazy." "Yeah, on a scale of 1-10, where would you rate him?" "Probably a 5, at best."
This kind of thing bothers me for some reason. I guess the main one is that I often feel that people are talking about me in this way when I'm not actually in their presence, even if they seem supportive up front.
Of course the other thing is that, quite often, when we feel this way about others it has more to do with the fact that we are seeing a reflection of our own lackings and don't wish to admit it. I, as have most have at some point I'm sure, have been guilty of this behavior. I'm pretty sure I've done this because I feel that something is wrong with me. It'd help us to keep that in mind as we say these things.
They did have a pleasanter chat about sports. I think that guy got so wrapped up in it that he ended up missing his stop. I found that amusing.
I'm not sure how often I'll get to post over the next few days, because I can't seem to log on from home. I'm currently sitting in the classroom building. Also, my laptop keeps coming up with some yucky error, saying that the memory cannot be read. After I finish this session of getting NPR stories, finding a couple research articles I need and the like, I'm going to see if I can take this thing next door to the technology person. Pray she can get it working, as I need it!
If you don't believe that men gosip, then go and visit one. It's a little brutal actually: you can see someone holding a conversation with a person, and once that individual leaves, the person will immediately begin talking quite negatively about him.
Why do I bring this up, you ask? Well I encountered a similar situation on the bus as I came over to the university today. The driver sat up front and, as usual, yacked with each person who came through the door. As I boarded, I think the guy beside me had ridden around on the line a couple times for the sole purpose of continuing to hold up a conversation.
"Hey man, how you doing," he asked the driver. The driver responded, and the man then said "I'm sad man. I gotta get a job! My girl left me and I gotta get her back. She thinks I lack motivation." The driver replied: "Ah man I've been there. You're fine, just keep at it. Life out here is crazy, and if your woman don't understand that then oh well."
Shortly after this, the other man disembarked. Then another person who reminded me shockingly of one of my co-workers from Lions Services, both in tone of voice and how he conducted the conversation, began to speak. "So, what do you think of that guy," he asked the driver. "What do you mean?" "I mean how do you rate him. How hard do you really think he's trying." "Well, I don't really know, probably not very hard. He seems kinda lazy." "Yeah, on a scale of 1-10, where would you rate him?" "Probably a 5, at best."
This kind of thing bothers me for some reason. I guess the main one is that I often feel that people are talking about me in this way when I'm not actually in their presence, even if they seem supportive up front.
Of course the other thing is that, quite often, when we feel this way about others it has more to do with the fact that we are seeing a reflection of our own lackings and don't wish to admit it. I, as have most have at some point I'm sure, have been guilty of this behavior. I'm pretty sure I've done this because I feel that something is wrong with me. It'd help us to keep that in mind as we say these things.
They did have a pleasanter chat about sports. I think that guy got so wrapped up in it that he ended up missing his stop. I found that amusing.
I'm not sure how often I'll get to post over the next few days, because I can't seem to log on from home. I'm currently sitting in the classroom building. Also, my laptop keeps coming up with some yucky error, saying that the memory cannot be read. After I finish this session of getting NPR stories, finding a couple research articles I need and the like, I'm going to see if I can take this thing next door to the technology person. Pray she can get it working, as I need it!