i cried
my friends are all at kenis house having a great time i assume. meanwhile i had the worst night of my life. maybe not THE worst, but its definately up there. i begged and pleaded that i would be able to spend the night out tomorrow. i mean hey, i've been grounded for a month, i didn't think it was too much to ask. apparently neitehr did my parents, because it seemed like they were actually considering it. and that was very surprising. sometihng came up involving ben harris's parents, and my parents were being all suspicious and stuff. then they were like, you can probably stay the night at friends house tomorrow if i can talk to a parent. whoa whoa whoa mom, this has never been the case before. why now? "i guess its just a new rule". i didn't even do anything wrong, and all of a sudden my parents have no trust for me. what the fuck is that. so i started getting really worked up and yelling and stuff. i had a really long conversation with my mom. mom, your parents let you have parties in the basement all the time. "yeah but my parents were there". so your saying your saying that i can have parties here if you are home? "yeah well.." yeah well your being a hypocrit. wouldn't you rather me tell you where i am and what i'm doing than lie about it? this was an argument that i knew i could not win, but i pushed onward, and i kept getting more and more pissed. i paced around my room for a 30 minutes. i couldn't take it anymore. i yelled at my mom one last time, then left. i walked around my neighborhood for an hour. i texted maria but she didn't reply. ben harris was on his way out to west nithsdale so he came but i left short after. i really need someone to talk to. my parents have no trust for me whatsoever and i didn't even do anything to get in trouble. its not right. i kind of snuck back in my house, so i dont know whats going to happen. if they try to ground me again, well fuck that. i've had enough, i didn't even do anything wrong. i'm hanging out with my girlfriend tomorrow no matter what. i'm not sure about kenis tomorrow night. we'll have to see.
i love you
i love you