from the back section
i fidgeted and looked at the soccer game on tv, and the plates, and the backs of the chairs, and the chips, and anything that was not her eyes.. she drank faster than me and told me things i really didnt want to hear and i would occasionally say something reassuring but i would mostly just hope that she would stop, please stop, i have no right to be pissed, no right to be jelous, no right to be anything but a supportive friend.. but i just wished she would stop,, especially after what we talked about, especially after she told me what she told me about being all those things we both have no right to be, especially after me assuring her that we didnt have to do this for real, especially because i just need it to be fake and this is making it real
you are what you love
and not what loves you back
but its cold enough for me to wear that jacket now without sweating, and its dark early enough to watch movies sometimes and not feel bad for wasting day light, and i will clean this place and keep it clean this time because its so cool here and you can come over and look at the things i like and ill look at your cool things too,, i moved here for this time of year, because it doesnt matter where you live in the summer because youre everywhere but where you live.. it will slow down and i will slow down and we will go skiing on sunday nights and skating on wednesday nights, i will have a birthday and take trips and shoot faucets
its hard for me
but im trying
and its not easy to have a bad night when it starts with that kind of bike ride with that kind of friend,,, she told me that people dont like me right away, and that i need a little explaining and i almost got mad but maybe its true.. really i dont need anyone new to like me anyway because i already dont see the people i see, but its the time of year when you see new people because the old people are too tired and we are too used to things being too crazy that when they are slow we make eachother seem slow.. we are not used to how it is but we will get used to it and we will love eachother as much as ever
sometimes you wear long underwear, sometimes you need to call your mom/sister/editor, sometimes you get whale tables, sometimes we tease eachother because were anxious, sometimes im way too tired, sometimes he wants me to visit, sometimes you kiss your friends on the cheeks, sometimes you break your fan, sometimes you take your brother out for drinks, sometimes you go to court, sometimes maybe youre getting too old for this, and sometimes you dotn give a crap how old you get
you are what you love
and not what loves you back
but its cold enough for me to wear that jacket now without sweating, and its dark early enough to watch movies sometimes and not feel bad for wasting day light, and i will clean this place and keep it clean this time because its so cool here and you can come over and look at the things i like and ill look at your cool things too,, i moved here for this time of year, because it doesnt matter where you live in the summer because youre everywhere but where you live.. it will slow down and i will slow down and we will go skiing on sunday nights and skating on wednesday nights, i will have a birthday and take trips and shoot faucets
its hard for me
but im trying
and its not easy to have a bad night when it starts with that kind of bike ride with that kind of friend,,, she told me that people dont like me right away, and that i need a little explaining and i almost got mad but maybe its true.. really i dont need anyone new to like me anyway because i already dont see the people i see, but its the time of year when you see new people because the old people are too tired and we are too used to things being too crazy that when they are slow we make eachother seem slow.. we are not used to how it is but we will get used to it and we will love eachother as much as ever
sometimes you wear long underwear, sometimes you need to call your mom/sister/editor, sometimes you get whale tables, sometimes we tease eachother because were anxious, sometimes im way too tired, sometimes he wants me to visit, sometimes you kiss your friends on the cheeks, sometimes you break your fan, sometimes you take your brother out for drinks, sometimes you go to court, sometimes maybe youre getting too old for this, and sometimes you dotn give a crap how old you get