All right you cats and kittens
Let me start this off:
I'm drunk!
Smashed, hammered, slammed, gone, etc etc etc...
Tonight there is a storm here that shouldn't be here.
And I know why!
Tomorrow is another day and all will be well.
But for now...
I'm drunk on pumpkin ale and Woodchuck cider
I've had wings
And ice cream will follow.
When I'm ready I'm going to watch one of my favorite movies.
After my car was fixed I popped in a tape and on came the following song.
I hadn't really listened to it until tonight.
All of it,
Tonight I take my hat off to the musicians who made it.
And Mr. P T Barnum for taking credit for something he never said!
Again, tomorrow I'll be fine.
Tonight is the long tea-time of the soul!
So, this one is for those of you out there who know where you fit into the world and how sometimes we all have to be reminded
how foolish we can be.
We just have to learn!
Tomorrow will be a different song!
Tonight....
Maestro!
If you please!
(PS If you go to YouTube and type in Barnum you can find a live version of this song so you'll know what it sounds like)
Barnum's the name! P.T. Barnum!
And whether you think my humbugs' a blessin' or a curse you're still goin' a buy it!
Why?
Because every sixty seconds in this world a delightful phenomenon takes place which absolutely guarantees it!
There is a sucker born every minute
Each time the second hand sweeps to the top
Like dandelions up they pop,
Their ears so big, their eyes so wide.
And though I feed 'em bonafide baloney
With no truth in it
Why you can bet I'll find some rube to buy my corn.
Cause there's a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute,
And I'm referrin' to the minute you were born.
Each blessed hour brings sixty of 'em
Each time that wooden cuckoo shows his face
Another sucker takes his place,
And plunks his quarter on the line
To buy my brand of genuine malarky.
God bless and love 'em!
But don't feel sad or hoppin' mad or cause a scene
Cause there's a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute,
But Mam you mighta been the minute in between.
If I allow that right here in my hands
The smallest living human man
The sight of that is surely worth a dime
If I present an educated pooch
Who’s trained to dance the hoochie cooch
What better way to waste a bit of time
If I imported monumental cost
A lady, fair, who’s head was lost
While crossing railroad tracks to pick some zinnias
Who eats farina through a hose
And wares pink tights instead of clothes
If that ain’t worth a buck my name ain’t Phineas
Aw you say that’s hog wash well who cares
You’ll buy my hogwash ' long as there's a sucker
Born every minute
Each time the second hand sweeps to the top
Like dandelions up they pop,
Their ears so big, their eyes so wide.
And though my tale is bonafide baloney,
Just let me spin it,
And ain't no man who can resist me wait and see
Cause there's a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute,
And friends the biggest one excluding none is...
Me!
Ha!
I'm drunk!
Smashed, hammered, slammed, gone, etc etc etc...
Tonight there is a storm here that shouldn't be here.
And I know why!
Tomorrow is another day and all will be well.
But for now...
I'm drunk on pumpkin ale and Woodchuck cider
I've had wings
And ice cream will follow.
When I'm ready I'm going to watch one of my favorite movies.
After my car was fixed I popped in a tape and on came the following song.
I hadn't really listened to it until tonight.
All of it,
Tonight I take my hat off to the musicians who made it.
And Mr. P T Barnum for taking credit for something he never said!
Again, tomorrow I'll be fine.
Tonight is the long tea-time of the soul!
So, this one is for those of you out there who know where you fit into the world and how sometimes we all have to be reminded
how foolish we can be.
We just have to learn!
Tomorrow will be a different song!
Tonight....
Maestro!
If you please!
(PS If you go to YouTube and type in Barnum you can find a live version of this song so you'll know what it sounds like)
Barnum's the name! P.T. Barnum!
And whether you think my humbugs' a blessin' or a curse you're still goin' a buy it!
Why?
Because every sixty seconds in this world a delightful phenomenon takes place which absolutely guarantees it!
There is a sucker born every minute
Each time the second hand sweeps to the top
Like dandelions up they pop,
Their ears so big, their eyes so wide.
And though I feed 'em bonafide baloney
With no truth in it
Why you can bet I'll find some rube to buy my corn.
Cause there's a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute,
And I'm referrin' to the minute you were born.
Each blessed hour brings sixty of 'em
Each time that wooden cuckoo shows his face
Another sucker takes his place,
And plunks his quarter on the line
To buy my brand of genuine malarky.
God bless and love 'em!
But don't feel sad or hoppin' mad or cause a scene
Cause there's a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute,
But Mam you mighta been the minute in between.
If I allow that right here in my hands
The smallest living human man
The sight of that is surely worth a dime
If I present an educated pooch
Who’s trained to dance the hoochie cooch
What better way to waste a bit of time
If I imported monumental cost
A lady, fair, who’s head was lost
While crossing railroad tracks to pick some zinnias
Who eats farina through a hose
And wares pink tights instead of clothes
If that ain’t worth a buck my name ain’t Phineas
Aw you say that’s hog wash well who cares
You’ll buy my hogwash ' long as there's a sucker
Born every minute
Each time the second hand sweeps to the top
Like dandelions up they pop,
Their ears so big, their eyes so wide.
And though my tale is bonafide baloney,
Just let me spin it,
And ain't no man who can resist me wait and see
Cause there's a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute,
And friends the biggest one excluding none is...
Me!
Ha!