Dining with vegetarians

[johnckirk]

I heard a conversation on the radio this morning, where the two presenters were moaning about vegetarians. Apparently Gordon Ramsey (the chef) has been in the news recently for refusing to serve vegetarians at one of his restaurants; after doing a bit of digging on the web, I assume that they're referring to this story, where he criticised the pop

Comments

[sammoore]

I was brought up with the following rule:

"The host's job is to make the guests stay as comfortable as possible, the guest job is to make that job as easy as possible"

I always felt as long both parties followed this rule, there should rarely be cause for anyone to be offended.

I don't drink alcohol but I happily serve it at parties. In fact, I'd think a party without some alcohol unusual (but not unheard of). I personally choose not to partake but I respect others decision to do so.

[susannahf]

I also don't drink alcohol (mostly), so I generally wouldn't buy alcohol to serve, but I do sometimes bring alcohol to a party as a gift. Although if it's a "bring a drink" sort of thing, I'll bring something nice and non-alcoholic (which usually gets drunk faster than the alcohol as some people will inevitably be driving/wanting the odd non-alcoholic drink).

My main reason for bringing non-alcohol these days is that I did screw up once by bringing a gift of wine to a dinner that turned out to be hosted by a methodist minister and his wife. They kindly said thanks, and that we could drink it with dinner, at which point we had to point out that I don't drink, and my friend was driving...

[nou]

I think that if I invite someone to eat at my house then that carries an obligation to feed them in a way that's acceptable to them, without making them feel as though they're being a burden on me. I actively enjoy catering for special diets though.

Veggie food I dislike: cucumber.

[billyabbott]

That brings up a point that often sticks in my head: What's the different between a food with no meat in and a veggie food?

I'd class fake meat things and maybe soya as "veggie food", but this is probably because I am a meater who likes cucumber :)

[johnckirk]

As a general issue, I'd say there's no real difference. There was a debate in the letters column of the Vegetarian Society magazine a while back, where some people were arguing that all vegetarian food should go in one aisle together in the supermarket, rather than being scattered around (e.g. Quorn sausages next to pork sausages). I think the main objection to that is pizza: lots of people would happily eat a basic cheese and tomato pizza without thinking of it as a vegetarian option.

In this context, I'm asking about veggie stuff because I'm not particularly concerned if you don't like meat X :)

[billyabbott]

Gordon Ramsay's rudeness to vegetarians is part of his schtick. As for the Girls Aloud "incident", it is (afaik) on an episode of the F-Word, where everyone is invited to a restaurant with only choice on the menu...which pretty much always involves meat. That gives his comment a little more context, and as part of the "charm" of the show is his constant rudeness to everyone, a little more understandable.

As for hosting parties/going to parties - I consider it part of the fun of cooking for someone to make sure that I cook something that both they and I like. But then again, I do like fancy food :)

[terpsichore1980]

Catering for special diets they know about is the host's job, including if necessary a seperate veggie option. However, it is the guest's job to make sure the host knows in advance about any special requirements. It is definitely not reasonable to only anounce you are a veggie on the doorstep, or to expect the host to have prepared something veggie on the off chance. I would consider this to be unacceptable even if the veggie concerned is prepared to just eat the veggitables as it deprives the host of the opportunity to cater for the guest concerned. That's my twopenneth ;-)

I am happy to eat veggie food, but if I am catering for a mixture of veggies and meat eaters I generally do two seperate dishes and make sure the veggies get first refusal on the one without meat.

[pozorvlak]

Having been bitten by this kind of thing before, I'm now paranoid about asking what dietary restrictions my guests have (veggies are one thing, but you've also got to think about people with religious convictions and allergies). Vegan food covers most things, but I'm not a terribly good vegan cook.

I think "live and let live" is in order: you don't bug me about eating meat (and ideally don't kick up too much of a fuss about cross-contamination etc: I'm prepared to use separate utensils for meat and veggie food, but it is a hassle), and I won't, say, call you a hypocrite for eating fish/wearing leather/whatever.

[pozorvlak]

To clarify: I will, by default, make my best effort to use separate utensils for meatstuff and veggiestuff, but I really appreciate perspective and sanity: it really won't matter if meat and veggie sausages share a grill tray, and if you'll overlook me turning them over with the same pair of tongs in the heat of the moment that would be much appreciated. wormwood_pearl is wonderfully reasonable about this kind of thing.

[shuripentu]

I'm trying to think of a non-religious reason for wanting seperate cooking implements that doesn't boil down to "eww, squicky". Not that "eww, squicky" is an invalid objection when it comes to food, of course, but in this case I wonder if it's not something that's worth overcoming. After all, it does create more washing up. ;)

[pozorvlak]

OK, I've now read your "being a vegetarian" page. I liked this bit:More generally, I try to avoid irritating people with this. My friends know that I'm vegetarian, and so they're used to the idea that if they offer me a biscuit then I'll ask to check the list of ingredients on the packet. However, I respect their choice to eat meat, and so I try not to force my views onto them.
If only all vegetarians were like this, I think the movement would get much more respect.

BTW, I have eaten a couple of animals that I have killed and/or skinned and gutted. If the fish came with the heads on, then I cook them with the heads on, and I'll probably eat the eyes as well. While conditions in factory farms and some slaughterhouses appall me, I have no problem with the essential process.

And haggis is lovely.

[johnckirk]

Thanks - you may find this old post interesting too.

I probably need to update that webpage a bit (along with the rest of my main site). Back when I first wrote it (in the pre-Google days), the only people who would bother looking at it were people who already knew me. I found that sometimes I'd get into conversations at parties, where I'd mention that I was vegetarian, and people would ask "Oh, is that a religious thing? Or just for ethical reasons?" etc. Since I try to avoid being militant, I figured that my website was a fairly discreet option: if people wanted to find out more about my reasons, then they could, but I wasn't forcing them to. (I have a similar attitude to my LJ in general - people who are interested in the minutiae of my life can stay up to date, but I'm not spamming all my friends with frequent emails if they're busy.) Nowadays, people may come across my website before they spend much time with me in person, so I don't know whether that skews the balance.

[shuripentu]

This is why militant vegetarians, vegans, animal rights terrorists activists, and hippies rub me up the wrong way so badly. They shout louder than we do, and they make the rest of us look bad. :p

I suspect Muslims and Christians often feel the same way...

[shuripentu]

...just to clarify, I meant militant vegans, militant animal rights activists, and militant hippies.