i cant have my cake and eat it too?why the fuck not?
hi i just woke up from a nap.that was some cheap smack cos my head hurts really bad and i can't feel it anymore.i wish i new how to erase the journals cos i dont want Nancy to see it.i think i mite have blacked out.im not sure.i cant sleep.dont they have a word for that?fuckers.like you people would know anyways.i just ate some soup but i didnt want to heat it up so i ate it cold.my mums friend said i looked dirty.figures fucking wankers.'oh lets go take a shower ten times a day'.wankers i tell you.FUCKING WANKERS.sos i heard about some skank named advil lavieing or something say she was the next me.well im still alive and i hope she drowns in a toilet full of shit.just like her mouth.har har.since when did they let these bloody canadans out of whereever the hell they come from?i wish i was a pirate.id kick everyones arse.my nails are dirty but i just cut them so there to short to pick the dirt from under them.i called john but he doesnt beleve its me.he just said "fuck you you stupid arse.dont try to be something your not.get a life.bye bye" and hung up on me.stupid john.well im going to try to call him tomorrow then.if i dont sleep cos im very sleepy.i cant sleep any how.i love Nancy.you must wonder why im here cos this is my mums flat and she wont let me out side that much cos she doesnt want to start a big mess with every body thinking im dead.she sais it would attract too much atention.you know whats funny.all these years in prison i thought i was still in england but i was here in new york.oh goody ive lived in this shitty country longer than my own.alls well that ends well rite?i heard john was permeantaly living in the u.s.i did some sketches earlier my mum sais they look nice.i know Nancy will really like them if i can show her.i love her so much.