College stuff
So, I was looking through things I've written. I want to apply for a scholarship, and to do so I have to send in 5-8 pages of my best writing. I'm also sending a story. Anyway, just looking for a lil input. If you don't want to read/comment, fine. I honestly don't care, I just like to get some feedback once in a while. Some I know I'm sending. This'll be a few (at the most) I'm not positive with.
Rain:
Pittering,
Pattering,
Pitter-pattering on my window pane;
this rain reflects my mood,
here,
on this stuffy,
summer day turned clear,
clear,
cloudy;
The ceiling of clouds overhead should dampen my mood,
weigh on my mind and spirits,
cover my heart with gloom;
Instead, it lifts my mood,
clears my mind and senses,
and fills my soul with fire,
joy,
thrill,
ecstasy of the deepest,
richest,
most fulfilling kind;
The cool, dry wind washes into me and clears away the crap that’s built itself up at my heart’s door, making me feel
light,
clean,
young,
wild,
and making me want to
leap,
and
run
and
sing,
and making me feel
ready
to face
A new day.
And...
Tickling,
teasing,
just out of reach,
You taunt me,
flaunting
the very best of me:
You glimmer
like the highest star;
(Oh, how I want to shimmer with you)
You sparkle
like the purest diamond;
(Oh, how I want to glitter with you)
And yet,
you always dance,
and glimmer,
and shine,
and shimmer
just past my fingertips,
out the door,
around the corner,
across the yard,
down the street,
just in my sight,
close enough to see,
smell,
taste,
but just too far to reach,
to touch,
to grasp,
tickling
and teasing me,
driving me crazy,
up a wall,
just about everywhere,
tickling,
teasing;
Why can’t I reach you?
Finally,
I feel your edges and corners,
your sides and facets,
your facets and sides;
Finally see your glitter and shimmer,
your shimmer and glimmer,
trapped in my palm,
peeking through my fingers,
trying to escape,
trying to get free,
trying to escape...
There;
Now that I’m done with you,
I slowly open my palm,
my fingers,
watching your shine and shimmer,
gleam and glitter,
slowly grow brighter,
grow bigger,
between my fingers,
until,
finally,
you’re free;
You flitter and flutter,
shimmer and glimmer,
dancing,
darting,
free at last,
bouncing away from me,
away on a breeze,
away from me,
and away into the night
to join the stars again.
Sorry. I just realized how long those are/how long they're going to look. Once again, don't read if you don't want to. *deep breath* Now, I'm not going to flip out and hide this or take it away. I'm going to do this and deal with what happens. I'm nervous. I don't usually bare this much of myself...This is my writing. You have no idea how protective I am. I've almost flipped out because people tried to read my notebook. Anyway...here goes nothing...
Rain:
Pittering,
Pattering,
Pitter-pattering on my window pane;
this rain reflects my mood,
here,
on this stuffy,
summer day turned clear,
clear,
cloudy;
The ceiling of clouds overhead should dampen my mood,
weigh on my mind and spirits,
cover my heart with gloom;
Instead, it lifts my mood,
clears my mind and senses,
and fills my soul with fire,
joy,
thrill,
ecstasy of the deepest,
richest,
most fulfilling kind;
The cool, dry wind washes into me and clears away the crap that’s built itself up at my heart’s door, making me feel
light,
clean,
young,
wild,
and making me want to
leap,
and
run
and
sing,
and making me feel
ready
to face
A new day.
And...
Tickling,
teasing,
just out of reach,
You taunt me,
flaunting
the very best of me:
You glimmer
like the highest star;
(Oh, how I want to shimmer with you)
You sparkle
like the purest diamond;
(Oh, how I want to glitter with you)
And yet,
you always dance,
and glimmer,
and shine,
and shimmer
just past my fingertips,
out the door,
around the corner,
across the yard,
down the street,
just in my sight,
close enough to see,
smell,
taste,
but just too far to reach,
to touch,
to grasp,
tickling
and teasing me,
driving me crazy,
up a wall,
just about everywhere,
tickling,
teasing;
Why can’t I reach you?
Finally,
I feel your edges and corners,
your sides and facets,
your facets and sides;
Finally see your glitter and shimmer,
your shimmer and glimmer,
trapped in my palm,
peeking through my fingers,
trying to escape,
trying to get free,
trying to escape...
There;
Now that I’m done with you,
I slowly open my palm,
my fingers,
watching your shine and shimmer,
gleam and glitter,
slowly grow brighter,
grow bigger,
between my fingers,
until,
finally,
you’re free;
You flitter and flutter,
shimmer and glimmer,
dancing,
darting,
free at last,
bouncing away from me,
away on a breeze,
away from me,
and away into the night
to join the stars again.
Sorry. I just realized how long those are/how long they're going to look. Once again, don't read if you don't want to. *deep breath* Now, I'm not going to flip out and hide this or take it away. I'm going to do this and deal with what happens. I'm nervous. I don't usually bare this much of myself...This is my writing. You have no idea how protective I am. I've almost flipped out because people tried to read my notebook. Anyway...here goes nothing...