Regrets... Private Thoughts
I went to se Deb today. I should have gone sooner.
I was...I just wasn't up to it. I know I should have gone. I should have gone right away. I feel awful for it. Because I didn't. I couldn't.
I'm not strong enough to deal with another tragedy right now.
Even Greg...He was difficult to work with. I don't think anyone could dispute that. But...he and I...for a while there we were friends. Neother one of us really tried to keep that up, and after a while we were just two guys who worked together again.
I feel that way about pretty much everybody I work with these days. And I know that's my fault. When I went to Africa, when I stayed...I became someone they didn't know. I became someone I didn't know. I became someone I didn't want to know.
So when I came back, I kept my distance. And now...now it feels like it's almost too late. Maybe it is too late for some. I don't know how to mend the fences I've destroyed.
Deb is one.
A few weeks ago, we sat down and talked. We opened up, talked about the good old days and how we've drifted apart. Both of us wanted to heal the rift between us, but in the end neither of us really put much effort into it.
And now...Now I don't know what to do.
I went to see her. I felt awkward and uncomfotable. I don't know what to say, how to act.
I've becme a stranger trapped in this skin.
I was...I just wasn't up to it. I know I should have gone. I should have gone right away. I feel awful for it. Because I didn't. I couldn't.
I'm not strong enough to deal with another tragedy right now.
Even Greg...He was difficult to work with. I don't think anyone could dispute that. But...he and I...for a while there we were friends. Neother one of us really tried to keep that up, and after a while we were just two guys who worked together again.
I feel that way about pretty much everybody I work with these days. And I know that's my fault. When I went to Africa, when I stayed...I became someone they didn't know. I became someone I didn't know. I became someone I didn't want to know.
So when I came back, I kept my distance. And now...now it feels like it's almost too late. Maybe it is too late for some. I don't know how to mend the fences I've destroyed.
Deb is one.
A few weeks ago, we sat down and talked. We opened up, talked about the good old days and how we've drifted apart. Both of us wanted to heal the rift between us, but in the end neither of us really put much effort into it.
And now...Now I don't know what to do.
I went to see her. I felt awkward and uncomfotable. I don't know what to say, how to act.
I've becme a stranger trapped in this skin.