Living with the absence of God
A few weeks ago, I finally decided to give in to my childhood doubts about the existence of a deity that can be interacted with in any meaningful manner. The information I am exposed to at work as well as my personal experiences with my families' health issues (among other things) leaves me no alternative but to concede that if there is a creator of all things, it does not concern itself with the day to day travails of the individual. I would not consider myself an atheist though - as I cannot disprove the existence of God anymore than I can prove it. I have to say, despite some very good personal experiences, that I no longer argue that religion does far more good than ill, either. Current trends within and without the U.S. seem to argue against this. In any case - the main affect of my spiritual collapse (or perhaps enlightenment)is the loss of the conciliation (or fear)of an afterlife. Perhaps I will be a better, if not happier, person for it. I would like to think there may be something beyond the physical world - and I believe that this yearning for "more" has inspired many good things within people - but I doubt that it is anything that can be defined or understood. I guess I live in hope but not in faith.