Alternate Universe Meme: Further Fic

[john_amend_all]

Over on Teaspoon, TheBigCat asked for a Seven and Ace set.
1. Wild West

The hills shook, and billowing clouds of dust burst from the mine entrance. Presently, three dusty, coughing figures emerged.
"Ace," one of them said. "I thought I'd talked to you about cutting fuses before."
"You should've told me about Laughing Cloud, then. If I'd known Ferris had her..."
"Then you'd have gone running off to save her and fallen straight into his trap."
Laughing Cloud held up her hands. "Enough. Will you come back to our camp?"
"Better than the town," Ace said.
"Yes," her partner added. "The sheriff might want to ask where you 'borrowed' all that dynamite from." 2. Cyberpunk

There was a nude woman in Ace's bed. Not, in itself, an unusual phenomenon, but this one was lying motionless, a cable running from the back of her neck to the wall.
"Will she be OK?" Ace asked, looking up at the Professor.
He checked a readout. "She'll be fully charged in a few hours. That's when things get dangerous."
"Don't see how."
"Ace, she's a replicant, even if she doesn't know it herself. We don't know what activates her programming... or what she might do when it does."
Ace grinned. "Don't worry, Professor. I'm nobody's heap of scrap iron." 3. Shapeshifters

"Silver!" Ace jumped back, a red weal on her hand where she'd brushed against the bullet.
"Ace?" Shou Yuing was beside her, concern on her face. "Ace, what's wrong?"
Ace looked at her feet. "I met this werewolf," she said. "Mags. We were... together."
"And she bit you?"
"I knew she was a werewolf. We thought we could handle it... Turned out we couldn't." She looked up, defiance in her eyes. "I'd do it all again. But those bullets. That means someone here knows what I am."
"You'd better keep your head down, then."
Ace set her jaw. "No chance." 4. Pirates

"A stowaway!" Captain Glitz proclaimed. "Shiver me timbers, and I know her, too! Barmaid from the Admiral Richmond, aren't you?"
"Not any more," the wench replied sulkily.
Doctor Smith gave her a sympathetic look. "What happened?"
"Spilt a pint over that duchess with all the feathers, didn't I?" She met the Doctor's eye, and her mouth twitched. "Three times."
"And so you decided to follow us." He patted his pocket. "Doubtless because you overheard us discussing this map."
"You'll have to work your passage," Glitz said. "What are you good at? Scrubbing decks?"
She shook her head decisively. "Nah. Explosions." 5. …In SPACE!!

The Melody Pond wasn't the sort of gleaming cruiser that Ace associated with Starfleet. From the outside, at least, it looked like a workaday freighter, patched together, rusty, and entirely beneath notice. The inside told a different story.
"Didn't think Section 31 took passengers," she said, as the hatch closed behind her.
Captain Smith smiled. "We don't. But we do take recruits."
"Hang on! Did you know who I was all along?"
"Leading Cadet McShane. Expelled from the Academy for persistent insubordination- not to mention blowing up the astrodome. Oh yes. We've had our eyes on you for a while." 6. Born Another Gender

"Don't I know you?" Sergeant Paterson asked.
Ace shook his head. "No."
"Theo McShane, that's right. The police let you off with a caution." He prodded Ace in the chest. "You need to keep out of trouble, lad. Self defence, that's the way. Keep you on the straight and narrow."
"Nasty case of testosterone poisoning," the Doctor said, as they watched the Sergeant pedal away.
Ace kicked at a discarded beer can. "That was out of order. Straight and narrow. He said that on purpose. Maybe he saw me with Manesh, that night. Those skinheads... he'd have cheered them on." 7. Schoolfic

"I'd almost given up on you," Professor Smith said, as Dorothy McShane slunk into his lab. He looked her up and down, noting her bleeding knuckles and muddied clothes. "Have you been fighting again?"
"No!"
"Who was it?"
"Gwendoline. She called me... never mind what it was." Dorothy brightened up. "She said sorry. I made her."
The Professor sighed. "The purpose of these afterschool sessions is to rrrehabilitate you. Not give you an opportunity to hang around the premises indulging in fisticuffs."
"Yeah, I know. Sorry."
"Very well, then. Now, shall we resume our investigation of the properties of nitrocellulose?" 8. Police/Firefighters

"It's not like it is on the telly," WPC McShane said, as they strolled together down Perivale High Street.
"No sudden flashes of deductive brilliance?" the Inspector suggested.
"No car chases or gunfights. Well, except last Wednesday, but that didn't really count."
"Are you having second thoughts about joining the Force?"
McShane shook her head. "Nah. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have got to arrest my old headmaster. All those times in his office and I never knew he was helping himself to the petty cash. You should've seen his face when I nicked him."
He smiled. "I saw yours." 9. Urban Fantasy

"Ace," the Doctor said, looking around her chaotic flat, "what happened to all that Nitro Nine you were making?"
"You said to get rid of it," Ace replied. "So I got rid of it."
"How?"
"Sold it."
"Who to?"
"Some bloke."
The Doctor gave her a searching look. "What sort of 'bloke', exactly?"
"He had a stupid green jacket. And pointy white hair."
"Ace! You should know better than to make bargains with the Fair Folk. You know what fairy gold turns into in the morning."
Ace shrugged. "Then he'll find out what Nitro Nine turns into in the morning." 10. Harem

"Ace! Ace!" Susan Q rushed up to Ace the moment she came in. "I bought you some chocolates! The ones you like with the gooey fondant centres!"
"Exploding perfume!" Shou Yuing squealed, elbowing Susan to one side.
"Tickets for Laser Quest!" Mel shrieked.
"Dead mice!" Karra proclaimed, her tail twitching with pride. "Mrow!"
Gwendoline brandished a cobwebbed bottle. "Sensuous lotion. From Java!"
"This video's called 'Emma and Explosions.'" Mags was jumping up and down for fear of being overlooked. "It's just come out!"
"Gordon Bennett," Ace said, surveying her housemates. "Is it going to be like this every Valentine's Day?"
daibhid_c prompted for none other than Charles Prentiss. I found him generally inseperable from Martin McCabe...
1. Wild West

"Come to America, you said. The land of opportunity, you said."
"Martin, I know what I said."
"We specialise in government media relations. Out here the media's one local newspaper and the government's a fat drunkard who doesn't even keep decent claret. So far our only clients have been criminals asking for more flattering 'wanted: dead or alive' posters."
"On the contrary, Martin. The state governor will be visiting us tomorrow."
"What does he want?"
"Slogans for his policy of genocide against the native tribes. Apparently 'The only good Indian is a dead Indian' isn't quite cutting it any more." 2. Cyberpunk

"And you were thinking of using these posters?" Prentiss asked.
"Sure, why not?" The publicity director of GenaCorp pointed at the screen with his cigar. "Works great in the Productivity Belts."
"'GenaCorp: We own your ass.' I think the message may need tweaking for the BritZone audience."
"At the moment, it gives the message 'Not only are we an evil oppressive corporation, we're an illiterate oppressive corporation,'" McCabe added. "It should read 'GenaCorp: We own your arse.'"
"So you'd go with that, huh?"
Prentiss shook his head. "Here's my suggestion. 'GenaCorp: You're our greatest assets.'"
"I see. Nice picture, too." 3. Shapeshifters

"I think," Charles Prentiss announced thoughtfully, "we may be looking at our first London Mayor from the werewolf community."
"Really, Charles, don't be absurd."
"You need only consider the alternatives."
McCabe did so. "Well, yes, point taken. But a werewolf! They rip people's throats out!"
"He can deliver a speech as it's written without inserting random attacks on foreigners," Prentiss countered. "Nor has he proposed melting the Queen down for scrap. What do you think, Sandy?"
"Could he rip the throat out of that tosser who presents Double or Shove?" Sandy mused. "I'd vote for anyone who could do that." 4. Pirates

McCabe pushed his periwig back. "Face it, Charles, it'll take more than a wheeze to rescue Avery's reputation. The man deserted from the Navy and set up as a pirate. The public won't forgive that."
"Oh, they will, just as soon as they read this pamphlet."
"Is that supposed to be Avery on the cover? It doesn't look anything like him."
"No. But imagine you were a young, impressionable girl, Martin. And you associate the word 'pirate' with a man like this? That woodcut will be on every woman's bedroom wall."
"It'll never catch on."
"In due course, it will." 5. …In SPACE!!

"Yes, I see." Prentiss dropped the proofs into the memory hole and fastidiously wiped his fingers. "Not quite the image you'd want to project for a gubernatorial campaign. Who came up with those?"
"Steed and Partners," McCabe said. "Don't hear a lot from them, these days. Wonder what happened to them?"
"Tush, Martin, we have no time for such irrelevancies. For now, this account is our foremost concern."
"I should just say it is. Have you seen the penalty clauses? We'd just better not fail."
"And we shall not. With our skills at her disposal, Commissioner Sleer's victory is certain." 6. Born Another Gender

"Fancy a drink at my club?" Martin suggested. "They admit women now, you know."
Carla Prentiss nodded. "I know. I've been following the story. The final vote was close, wasn't it?"
"Nearly came down to the Secretary's casting vote. If there hadn't been that nasty outbreak of food poisoning the night before... d'you know there was even talk of sabotage?"
"Really, Martin. That seems to be taking paranoia a little far. Ah, Sandy. Will you be all right to hold the fort while Martin and I go to his club for a drink?"
"Better not touch the cognac," Sandy muttered. 7. Schoolfic

"I don't see how this is helping to get my General Science homework done," Sandy complained.
"No, but that's why I'm a prefect and you're a junior," Charles said. "Now, you know what to do?"
"Take the envelope. Put it in Mr Dixon's bag. Forget all about it."
Charles beamed at her. "Exactly correct."
⁂
"Charles," Martin said at lunch. "Have you heard the news? Mr Dixon's been fired! They said he was trying to fix the junior rugby tournament. Brown envelopes of cash under the changing room doors and everything."
Charles drained his diet Coke. "Really, Martin? You astound me." 8. Police/Firefighters

"Archie," Charles Prentiss said, looking around the panelled room. "I really don't see why you're getting so worked up. One careless mistake and the whole place will go up like tinder."
"You're sure?" Archie hissed. "And the insurance company won't suspect?"
"Ah, so it's an insurance job?" Prentiss nodded sagely. "Then the important thing is to keep it simple."
"So petrol..."
"Petrol? Insurance detectives can sniff the stuff out like bloodhounds. No, Archie, all that's needed is a carefully positioned bottle of water. Complete plausible deniability."
"You'll receive the usual retainer."
"For this advice I haven't given you. Of course." 9. Urban Fantasy

"You two look almost fit," Gayle Shand said. "That diet plan you're advertising- don't tell me you're actually on it?"
"Le patron mange ici," Charles said. "Or rather, he doesn't. Eat here, that is. Our nutritional intake is strictly controlled."
"No pain, no gain," Martin added cheerfully.
Gayle gave them a puzzled look. "You're not usually like this. You wouldn't be seen dead saying nice things about your clients when they're not around. Well, if you're not eating, how about a drink? I know you can't keep Martin away from claret."
Charles shook his head. "We no longer drink... wine." 10. Harem

McCabe drained his claret. "Face it, Charles, the public simply aren't interested in kiss and tell these days. Wicksley could have kept a dozen mistresses in a private harem and it wouldn't get more than two minutes on regional news."
"Do you know, Martin, I believe you've just given me an idea for a wheeze. Get hold of as many of Wicksley's mistresses as you can-" Prentiss snapped his fingers at the waiter. " Morris, who's producing Big Brother these days?"
"Maurice, monsieur."
"Morris, some for mighty destiny are made, others dig allotments with a broken spade. Dig my allotment, Morris."
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