My self sales pitch as a politition?
"there are many of you who wonder why you should vote for me. In truth I'm not what your conventional teachings would tell you is a better choice. I'm not 90 years old, and I haven’t held this office for the last 50 of those years, When I was 10 I was arrested for slashing tires, when I was 14 I went to 3 youth mental hospitals all but one for less then a month, and then spent the next year and a half at a group home. My school career I barely skimmed by, and in 2000 I spent 9 days in a New Orleans Jail for disturbance of the public peace. My parents drove down from Michigan and paid my bail of 190 dollars. So why should you vote for me? I don't know I'm just a normal guy. I'm openly Pagan, I don't have time for bull shit, My office door will always be open to my constituents if I'm in it, and I merely want to serve my state. I will not cotton to either side. I will doggedly defend the rights of others and I will never talk off a teleprompter if I can avoid it. But still I can't tell you why you should vote for me. What I can do is get all my assorted past bull shit out in the open, so the opposition can't use it to cloud your ability to make up your own minds."