book report

[johhnymayhem]

So I was walking back from the bathroom while at the library, and a book caught my eye. Outrage: How Gay Activists and Liberal Judges are Trashing Democracy to Redefine Marriage by Peter Sprigg, director of the family research council's center for marriage and family studies

Comments

[blackgambit]

Mmm... I would argue that families are a foundation in this country. There has never been one U.S. President who was not married. Women are still considered less valuable unless she's married to a man. A man who never had children is often considered less virile. (It's all bullshit, but it's true) The notion of the family... of continuing our biological line, of working to give our children a good life, is what America has defined as normal.

Honestly, most people get married for plenty of reasons they shouldn't. Unless you wholeheartedly want to make a sacred promise of unconditional love to your partner under God to love and grow in the same direction regardless of what happens, you shouldn't fucking be getting married. But people do get married for the wrong reasons for two reasons. Legal benefits (which rewards the system of marriage and structure of the family) and to fit into a system of structure so they aren't castigated.

Think about it. Most people consider marriage and parenthood the last stage of becoming an adult. And the conservatives believe you should be married before you have sex and reproduce. If you're dating someone for a while, or planning on having a baby, there's always an expectation that you should be getting married. Tie the knot. Why? Because it's the norm.

Personally, marriage and civil rights are two completely different things, and the government has combined them. Civil rights are the legal benefits the government has rewarded the structure of marriage with. I.E.- Tax breaks, insurance coverage, education grants, adoption, hospital visitation... the list goes on.

As someone who's dated members of my own gender, it's slightly horrifying to me that if my partner was in the trauma center of a hospital, unless i was legally considered family, I wouldn't be able to see them. It upsets me that if I hadn't personally adopted or bore our child, I wouldn't be legally identified as a parent and they'd be taken away if anything happened to my partner. It's... a complete crock of patriarchal shit.

Marriage, however, is a religious ceremony to commemorate your promise to your partner under God. The institution of the Church or other religious entity holds that power. America has combined the two into a juggernaut of subjective definition.

The reason people are so afraid of gay marriage and polygamy is the primary fact it corrupts what their idea of the family is. The nuclear family has been in a state of change since the 60's. People raise children out of wedlock all the time. Single parents. Interracial marriage. Step parents. Yada yada yada. Whenever I hear people talk about either gay marriage or polygamy, I always hear "what kind of influence would that have on their children?" ... But you know, you don't see children being taken away from mothers who're strippers or parents who are militantly hateful. Hate is more morally toxic than anything you could ever subject anyone to.

But if it fits into the structure of the family we're so comfortable with, who cares, right?

(I love our country -_-)

Also, if the idea and image of masculinity wasn't so encompassed and forced in our society, chances are gay men wouldn't be pretending to be straight and later realizing they were gay, but too scared to find out who they really were and engaging in the Down Low phenomena. If it wasn't so repressed, trust me. A man who's straight knows he's straight. He's not going to magically switch. But those who've never been allowed to answer their own question will fuck up families when they realize... oh shit. I like cock. But i'm married to a woman because that's what's expected of me as a man.

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[johhnymayhem]

Nice to hear from you and have you weigh in. "oh shit. I like cock." xD

Ahem. Well, my thought was that marriage wasn't necessarily intrinsically American, that marriage is as important here as in other countries? Possibly more important in other countries for reasons you stated about how marriage or child raising is kind of a mess nowadays in America.

So then, it sounds like the solution is to simply separate marriage and civil rights. That must be the problem; when the solution sounds so easy, it'll never happen.

[blackgambit]

You can't get rid of me that easily ; P

I would argue the concept of the nuclear family is primarily American. The 40's and 50's exemplify it. America created the notion of the picket fenced box shaped houses and the families that lived in them. And conservatives would like to go back towards that kind of gilded bittersweet nonsense because it highlighted a facade of purity and simplicity. (and oppression, but whatever)

The key reason people hold on to morals and traditions is because they thirst for some sort of concreteness and structure they cannot make for themselves. By guarding said traditions and Religious interpretations, they are indoctrinating the idea that change is corruption and that different is wrong. If someone gave us the answer to world peace, we'd probably assassinate him because we're that afraid of change because we're creatures of habit. And fairly stupid. Yes... borderline imbecilic.

[johhnymayhem]

Maybe if I get a cream or the right kind of balm.. =^P

40's and 50's maybe, but those days are long over. To think we can somehow get back to that is horribly naive. Look at how far back you had to go to offer an example, heh.