bits and pieces
We didn't have sex! Hoo-ray!
It seems ironic to get stuck behind a slow moving vehicle with one of those NASCAR number stickers.
Is it sad that I remember the names of my crushes? Jennifer R, fourth grade. Jackie P., high school. With the 10 year mark ever approaching, high school and those associated are on my mind more than ever.
I've been thinking of calling my penis Excalibur. Only, instead of the right person pulling it out, need to find the right person to put it in. I got pretty wacked out of my mind one morning and was picturing finding the right person, whomever she may be, I'd put it inside and there'd be a chorus of angels, rays of sunshine, and suddenly I'll finally orgasm. Ha. But if it is like an inverse Excalibur, I hope that doesn't mean that I need to find someone named Arthur.
I think I witnessed a deer inadvertently commit suicide.
Whenever it was, I imagine it's been quite often through the years, that I desired to meet the girl of my dreams, apparently I keep forgetting to mention that I need to meet the girl of my dreams and she needs to be single. You'd think that'd go without saying.. but nah, that's how life likes to play me. Seems almost a prerequisite that in order for me to form a crush on you you need to have a boyfriend. ..or in the case of that one, a girlfriend. Ha.
Maybe it's as simple as I'm attracted to what I can't have.
I applaud people with convictions. Well, at least Trent Reznor in "Heresay." Despite everything, I still can't quite say and mean it 100% "Your god is dead, and no one cares. If there is a hell, I'll see you there."
..I'm not sure if I applaud people with the 'wrong' convictions, so that seems one sided of me to only applaud people with whom I agree. Oh well.
Fairly certain the only person I'd want to bother seeing at the high school reunion would be Melissa M. She was always nice and cheerful.. even about three years after high school when I randomly saw her on the ferry she was really friendly with me. I was hoping to see her again randomly like that, but sadly I never did. It never really dawned on me, till of course long after we parted, that I didn't understand why she was nice to me on the ferry like that. Not that I'm saying she had/has a crush on me, just that, perhaps missed the opportunity to make a friend. People seemed to give her a hard time in high school and I never understood why.
I purchased some Smirnoff Triple Black for a raining day and stuffed it in my freezer. Apparently my freezer's too freezier, cause it fucking froze all four of em. Not to mention, it caused enough pressure to just ever so slightly loosen the caps.. and it's as if the malt liquor oozed forth and gunked up everything. I don't mind the mess, what bothers me is that when they unfreeze they won't taste like they're supposed to, and I wasted my money AND they're hard to come by. Why that triple black is hard to find is beyond me. Dammit.
Apparently I stumbled across an old ass alcoholic orgy in the woods. I went out with my obnoxiously large 50 gallon garbage bag, but I wasn't expecting to fill the fucker. Spent all my time in this one spot in the woods, all cause something shiny caught my eye and I ventured off the trail. I can't understand who takes that large amount of alcohol and ventures off into the woods; "Hey let's get drunk out in the woods! Wooo!" It's not like there are logs or anything around to sit on, nothing but a bunch of damn vines. But who knows what the area looked liked that long ago.
Signs of age: Found aluminum cans with rust. Cans had the old style mouth, not the ubiquitous wide mouth featured nowadays. Found glass bottles of Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew served in a 15-20 ounce glass bottle? What the hell?
It seems ironic to get stuck behind a slow moving vehicle with one of those NASCAR number stickers.
Is it sad that I remember the names of my crushes? Jennifer R, fourth grade. Jackie P., high school. With the 10 year mark ever approaching, high school and those associated are on my mind more than ever.
I've been thinking of calling my penis Excalibur. Only, instead of the right person pulling it out, need to find the right person to put it in. I got pretty wacked out of my mind one morning and was picturing finding the right person, whomever she may be, I'd put it inside and there'd be a chorus of angels, rays of sunshine, and suddenly I'll finally orgasm. Ha. But if it is like an inverse Excalibur, I hope that doesn't mean that I need to find someone named Arthur.
I think I witnessed a deer inadvertently commit suicide.
Whenever it was, I imagine it's been quite often through the years, that I desired to meet the girl of my dreams, apparently I keep forgetting to mention that I need to meet the girl of my dreams and she needs to be single. You'd think that'd go without saying.. but nah, that's how life likes to play me. Seems almost a prerequisite that in order for me to form a crush on you you need to have a boyfriend. ..or in the case of that one, a girlfriend. Ha.
Maybe it's as simple as I'm attracted to what I can't have.
I applaud people with convictions. Well, at least Trent Reznor in "Heresay." Despite everything, I still can't quite say and mean it 100% "Your god is dead, and no one cares. If there is a hell, I'll see you there."
..I'm not sure if I applaud people with the 'wrong' convictions, so that seems one sided of me to only applaud people with whom I agree. Oh well.
Fairly certain the only person I'd want to bother seeing at the high school reunion would be Melissa M. She was always nice and cheerful.. even about three years after high school when I randomly saw her on the ferry she was really friendly with me. I was hoping to see her again randomly like that, but sadly I never did. It never really dawned on me, till of course long after we parted, that I didn't understand why she was nice to me on the ferry like that. Not that I'm saying she had/has a crush on me, just that, perhaps missed the opportunity to make a friend. People seemed to give her a hard time in high school and I never understood why.
I purchased some Smirnoff Triple Black for a raining day and stuffed it in my freezer. Apparently my freezer's too freezier, cause it fucking froze all four of em. Not to mention, it caused enough pressure to just ever so slightly loosen the caps.. and it's as if the malt liquor oozed forth and gunked up everything. I don't mind the mess, what bothers me is that when they unfreeze they won't taste like they're supposed to, and I wasted my money AND they're hard to come by. Why that triple black is hard to find is beyond me. Dammit.
Apparently I stumbled across an old ass alcoholic orgy in the woods. I went out with my obnoxiously large 50 gallon garbage bag, but I wasn't expecting to fill the fucker. Spent all my time in this one spot in the woods, all cause something shiny caught my eye and I ventured off the trail. I can't understand who takes that large amount of alcohol and ventures off into the woods; "Hey let's get drunk out in the woods! Wooo!" It's not like there are logs or anything around to sit on, nothing but a bunch of damn vines. But who knows what the area looked liked that long ago.
Signs of age: Found aluminum cans with rust. Cans had the old style mouth, not the ubiquitous wide mouth featured nowadays. Found glass bottles of Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew served in a 15-20 ounce glass bottle? What the hell?