Alex: day camp this summer, new school in September
I've been meeting with the principal of Alex's school.
We needed to see about next year, since all of us agree that Alex would waste his time redoing his kindergarden, despite that he would still be in his age group (he was the second youngest of his class, cutoff date is "gotta be 5 years old by Sept. 30). However, we all agree that he wasn't ready either for a regular class, with his needs.
I've been offered to let Alex attend the TEACCH classes... which is the best we can find in the area. This method has good results with many children with PDD. But I know that even if it looks good on paper, it's always dependent on how it's actually implemented, so I wanted to see for myself. So, Manon (the school principal) and I went to visit St-Pie-X, the school offering the TEACCH classes.
That was a very instructive visit, and it raised wonderful hopes. I rarely let myself hope, but with what I've seen, I believe that Alex will be much better there than in a regular class with a specialized educator attending him. He won't be overwhelmed by as many classmates, for starters...
My concern was the social aspect which is lacking in Alex's abilities. As much as we try, Alex still doesn't assimilate this by social osmosis, like most children do. So, he walks right up to strangers and initiates contact with them. He doesn't want to listen when I try to tell him that he shouldn't... For him, everyone is nice and friendly and he can't conceive that people would harm him. He can't conceive what kind of harm could be done to him. Just basic "don't follow strangers" is not even understood... So we need to actively address that. The program is almost ready, but we also have to fill in for speech therapy, and there's little time left for preparing the social stories we're planning to use for the mini-program about strangers.
Oh well. I always keep an eye on him, but still... So, I warn each and every person who will care for him: Don't ever loose sight of him, not even for a moment, or he will wander off and leave with the first stranger that he wants to talk to.
My ex learned it the hard way, last year, when he lost our son while Alex was under his custody. It was at our anniversary / full status elevation event. I make a point of not interfering when Alex is under my ex's custody, but that time, I was positively pissed off. I didn't blow up a gasket, not my style. I stepped back and took my time to work up a series of interventions that piled up slowly like ants. The goal wasn't to give Sylvain a payback - it was to make him remember to never, ever again let Alex unattended under his custody. If there is a next time, I will move for a reduction of custody (supervised visits only) or even a suspension of visit rights.
I don't forgive carelessness, especially after I make a point of informing people who should know better in the first place. Therefore, when I say that what I saw pleased me greatly, that's saying something :-)
* * *
Summer day camp!
My son started to attend the summer day camp Monday morning. He is attending the regular camp, which means he's not with the PDD / Behavior problems camp. So far so good, from what I'm told. I'm proud of Alex :-D
Yesterday morning, my little man decided to drag his feet and we were late for camp. (It starts at 9, but by 9:30, the camp G-O need to know if they can get started or, in the case of external activities, if they can head out). So I received a phone call from the Maison Grandi-Ose (which offers the camp).
The person I talked to explained to me why they needed to set a deadline for bringing the children, explained to me that they could not start making exceptions otherwise it would result in many parents arriving at any point in time and the G-Os not being able to leave for the activities because they gotta wait on children, that parents should call if they were planning to arrive after 9:30 am, etc. And he added something that made me tick: "We need to enforce this so that the parents learn to be on time."
At this point, I interrupted him.
Excuse me, but you keep saying "the parents". Here I need to say that I understand perfectly why you need to set these limits. I understand that if you start making exceptions, you'll never see the end of it, and that you need to know when you can take the children out to where you need to go.
What you need to understand, now, is that it's not always about parents being remiss or not caring. My son has PDD. It's in his file. This means that he sometimes gets in a state that makes him easily distracted, side-tracked and this makes it difficult for him to get ready. Then, he gets late.
Before the camp started, I specifically inquired about this, should it happen. I received no information nor reply until what you just told me now. Thank you for telling me. Now that I know, I will make sure I give you a call if it happens again so that you're not left hanging.
He apologized and offered me to make an exception for this time. I refused.
No, if you start making an exception for me, you'll never see the end of it. Besides, my son needs to learn the consequences of him being late. He needs to understand, with a direct effect of him being late, that this causes him to miss out on activities from the camp. And, frankly, I'd prefer he learns that sooner than later. I prefer now instead of when there will be an activity that i know he'll love.
I didn't have to scold Alex. I just told him what the activities were that he was missing because everybody was already gone. He sobbed a little, then sucked it up and moved on. The rest of the day was spent with me, and he held himself like a champ :-)
...This morning, he tried to get his stuff done so he wouldn't be late for camp *lol* I hear he had a good day too, so I'm glad :-) Now, he knows that if he's late, he won't be able to attend. And he wants to :-) Good! He's 5 years old, so of course the world, to him, is what is in relation with him / to him. But add PDD to that, and the inherent difficulty to consider things from someone else's perspective... I'd say he learned a very valuable lesson:
The world cannot wait on him ad vitam eternam :-P
We needed to see about next year, since all of us agree that Alex would waste his time redoing his kindergarden, despite that he would still be in his age group (he was the second youngest of his class, cutoff date is "gotta be 5 years old by Sept. 30). However, we all agree that he wasn't ready either for a regular class, with his needs.
I've been offered to let Alex attend the TEACCH classes... which is the best we can find in the area. This method has good results with many children with PDD. But I know that even if it looks good on paper, it's always dependent on how it's actually implemented, so I wanted to see for myself. So, Manon (the school principal) and I went to visit St-Pie-X, the school offering the TEACCH classes.
That was a very instructive visit, and it raised wonderful hopes. I rarely let myself hope, but with what I've seen, I believe that Alex will be much better there than in a regular class with a specialized educator attending him. He won't be overwhelmed by as many classmates, for starters...
My concern was the social aspect which is lacking in Alex's abilities. As much as we try, Alex still doesn't assimilate this by social osmosis, like most children do. So, he walks right up to strangers and initiates contact with them. He doesn't want to listen when I try to tell him that he shouldn't... For him, everyone is nice and friendly and he can't conceive that people would harm him. He can't conceive what kind of harm could be done to him. Just basic "don't follow strangers" is not even understood... So we need to actively address that. The program is almost ready, but we also have to fill in for speech therapy, and there's little time left for preparing the social stories we're planning to use for the mini-program about strangers.
Oh well. I always keep an eye on him, but still... So, I warn each and every person who will care for him: Don't ever loose sight of him, not even for a moment, or he will wander off and leave with the first stranger that he wants to talk to.
My ex learned it the hard way, last year, when he lost our son while Alex was under his custody. It was at our anniversary / full status elevation event. I make a point of not interfering when Alex is under my ex's custody, but that time, I was positively pissed off. I didn't blow up a gasket, not my style. I stepped back and took my time to work up a series of interventions that piled up slowly like ants. The goal wasn't to give Sylvain a payback - it was to make him remember to never, ever again let Alex unattended under his custody. If there is a next time, I will move for a reduction of custody (supervised visits only) or even a suspension of visit rights.
I don't forgive carelessness, especially after I make a point of informing people who should know better in the first place. Therefore, when I say that what I saw pleased me greatly, that's saying something :-)
* * *
Summer day camp!
My son started to attend the summer day camp Monday morning. He is attending the regular camp, which means he's not with the PDD / Behavior problems camp. So far so good, from what I'm told. I'm proud of Alex :-D
Yesterday morning, my little man decided to drag his feet and we were late for camp. (It starts at 9, but by 9:30, the camp G-O need to know if they can get started or, in the case of external activities, if they can head out). So I received a phone call from the Maison Grandi-Ose (which offers the camp).
The person I talked to explained to me why they needed to set a deadline for bringing the children, explained to me that they could not start making exceptions otherwise it would result in many parents arriving at any point in time and the G-Os not being able to leave for the activities because they gotta wait on children, that parents should call if they were planning to arrive after 9:30 am, etc. And he added something that made me tick: "We need to enforce this so that the parents learn to be on time."
At this point, I interrupted him.
Excuse me, but you keep saying "the parents". Here I need to say that I understand perfectly why you need to set these limits. I understand that if you start making exceptions, you'll never see the end of it, and that you need to know when you can take the children out to where you need to go.
What you need to understand, now, is that it's not always about parents being remiss or not caring. My son has PDD. It's in his file. This means that he sometimes gets in a state that makes him easily distracted, side-tracked and this makes it difficult for him to get ready. Then, he gets late.
Before the camp started, I specifically inquired about this, should it happen. I received no information nor reply until what you just told me now. Thank you for telling me. Now that I know, I will make sure I give you a call if it happens again so that you're not left hanging.
He apologized and offered me to make an exception for this time. I refused.
No, if you start making an exception for me, you'll never see the end of it. Besides, my son needs to learn the consequences of him being late. He needs to understand, with a direct effect of him being late, that this causes him to miss out on activities from the camp. And, frankly, I'd prefer he learns that sooner than later. I prefer now instead of when there will be an activity that i know he'll love.
I didn't have to scold Alex. I just told him what the activities were that he was missing because everybody was already gone. He sobbed a little, then sucked it up and moved on. The rest of the day was spent with me, and he held himself like a champ :-)
...This morning, he tried to get his stuff done so he wouldn't be late for camp *lol* I hear he had a good day too, so I'm glad :-) Now, he knows that if he's late, he won't be able to attend. And he wants to :-) Good! He's 5 years old, so of course the world, to him, is what is in relation with him / to him. But add PDD to that, and the inherent difficulty to consider things from someone else's perspective... I'd say he learned a very valuable lesson:
The world cannot wait on him ad vitam eternam :-P