Christmas
Leksand is gorgeous during Christmas, everyone gets their lights out and it seems to be the thing to do to waste lots and lots of electricity. I was not going to, but the girls love the lights, so Wayne and I put them up, and they look very good if I do say so myself.
Doctor's checkup today. Not good news. They think playing is a bad idea, ever EVER playing. "You could be in a wheelchair in ten years if you keep playing," they said - well don't you think I KNOW that? I already cannot function half the time without some dosage of pain pills, but I have given myself over to the inevitability in that since it is probably going to happen anyway I will play while I can. Hopefully I only need a cane. Canes can be useful, you know? Beating people. Sense of humor about this whole thing and nicotine, are the only things I have left. And Wayne. And the kids...well, hell. I have a lot to be thankful for.
But, the holidays mean family - another year, another 'meet the family' schtick, which I am getting WAY too old for. He is meeting mine and I am meeting his, and I hate meeting families. They make me nervous. Which is stupid, yes, but...regardless. It does not help that I have never been in too good with Keith, but I guess that is my own fault since I am such an asshole. Oh well.
...you know, for Christmas, sometimes, all I really want is junk. When did we adults start settling for boring things from the Home Shopping Network, gifts that are USEFUL but DULL? I remember when I counted down the seconds to Christmas Eve (which is when we opened presents) and then ripping open bright paper to find absolute junk that would break in months and I would be just fucking thrilled. Sometimes all I really want for Christmas is toys. You can take 'toys' as you will. So. If you really really want to buy me something for Christmas - and I do not know why, I have not been much good this year - buy me TOYS. Or donate to my charity, whichever.
Doctor's checkup today. Not good news. They think playing is a bad idea, ever EVER playing. "You could be in a wheelchair in ten years if you keep playing," they said - well don't you think I KNOW that? I already cannot function half the time without some dosage of pain pills, but I have given myself over to the inevitability in that since it is probably going to happen anyway I will play while I can. Hopefully I only need a cane. Canes can be useful, you know? Beating people. Sense of humor about this whole thing and nicotine, are the only things I have left. And Wayne. And the kids...well, hell. I have a lot to be thankful for.
But, the holidays mean family - another year, another 'meet the family' schtick, which I am getting WAY too old for. He is meeting mine and I am meeting his, and I hate meeting families. They make me nervous. Which is stupid, yes, but...regardless. It does not help that I have never been in too good with Keith, but I guess that is my own fault since I am such an asshole. Oh well.
...you know, for Christmas, sometimes, all I really want is junk. When did we adults start settling for boring things from the Home Shopping Network, gifts that are USEFUL but DULL? I remember when I counted down the seconds to Christmas Eve (which is when we opened presents) and then ripping open bright paper to find absolute junk that would break in months and I would be just fucking thrilled. Sometimes all I really want for Christmas is toys. You can take 'toys' as you will. So. If you really really want to buy me something for Christmas - and I do not know why, I have not been much good this year - buy me TOYS. Or donate to my charity, whichever.