Sinking again...
Been a while since my last post. I believe the entirety of June 2013 went without a peep from me in here.
Been feeling a slow slide downwards...mental gears getting mired and sluggish to control.
Letting the creeping problems with my car weigh heavier on my mind than I possibly should...
Letting the emptiness parts of my daily/weekly/monthly life echo in my brain more than I possibly should...
Continuing to be resistant to some of the changes I was "voluntold" to take part of in the office and letting the clients of the team I've been assigned to get on my nerves easier than I should...
Due to limitations with car mobility I'm hermitizing again. I sense I'm giving myself acid indegestion more often due to the stress I'm encapsulating within me.
I'm in a cycle of doubt, regret, worry, and some anxiety to be honest. Part of it...maybe a good deal of it...is worrying about car repair costs: O2 sensor and tracing a coolant leak are the two that are looming the most. The first should be relatively simple - replacing the O2 sensor. The coolant leak one may be more problematic in tracing done and repairing as best as possible - so many links in the system between radiator, hoses, heater core, engine, water pump, etc.
Replaced the radiator and one of the hoses over the weekend with the help of a friend. Now getting a more constant vapor smell while driving. All my brain can do it think, "WTF is it now??"
Just want a leg-up on things for a bit...some Cosmic kindness touching my path so I can brush myself off and feel safe moving forward again.
Just want to leave it all...fade away...
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