Splendid
Who i am, again...
I am someone who cares too much about the little things, I watch them, study them and let them eat away at me like a sickness.
I honestly feel i am broken when it comes to Love (or what i think about it anyways). It is something i always thought to be this amazing fairy tale that we all would live at one time or another. Turns out it is, but sick and twisted with the side effects of pain, sorrow and insecurity.
I can see myself in a new state within 2 years (warmer and much more sun and sand)
I don't hate my job anymore (getting employee of the month helped :D)
I own my first star trek game as of 01/07/2007
I have trouble writing when i am happy, which is going to hinder my ability to be a writer i think. It becomes more painfully obvious as i get older.
I never really get mad at things...more so i channel everything through frustration, depression and sadness. Not sure how this happened to me, but it did and it is how i am. I don't mind though, sometimes being depressed over angry can save a lot of hurtful things from being said.
You know, i love my life. I enjoy reading my dragon books, i enjoy playing the occasional video game and i enjoy the people i have to talk to. I really don't know why i torment myself sometimes. Maybe i need a new outlet. I should try and dedicate myself to writing, like at least 2 hours everyday. I am sure this would increase my quality of life. I don't know though, sometimes i feel like a choice to do one thing will cause me to miss something else i may have enjoyed more. I guess that is the risk we all take with our everyday decisions.
I just want to be happy in the end (i know, i know...i am rambling like crazy, but eff you guys, this is my journal! :P). I guess happiness is just something we all must learn to appreciate as a temporary sensation that takes work and luck combined. To sum up, i have talked about nothing, but at least i wrote something, at least i releases some of this sadness onto my journal.
I am someone who cares too much about the little things, I watch them, study them and let them eat away at me like a sickness.
I honestly feel i am broken when it comes to Love (or what i think about it anyways). It is something i always thought to be this amazing fairy tale that we all would live at one time or another. Turns out it is, but sick and twisted with the side effects of pain, sorrow and insecurity.
I can see myself in a new state within 2 years (warmer and much more sun and sand)
I don't hate my job anymore (getting employee of the month helped :D)
I own my first star trek game as of 01/07/2007
I have trouble writing when i am happy, which is going to hinder my ability to be a writer i think. It becomes more painfully obvious as i get older.
I never really get mad at things...more so i channel everything through frustration, depression and sadness. Not sure how this happened to me, but it did and it is how i am. I don't mind though, sometimes being depressed over angry can save a lot of hurtful things from being said.
You know, i love my life. I enjoy reading my dragon books, i enjoy playing the occasional video game and i enjoy the people i have to talk to. I really don't know why i torment myself sometimes. Maybe i need a new outlet. I should try and dedicate myself to writing, like at least 2 hours everyday. I am sure this would increase my quality of life. I don't know though, sometimes i feel like a choice to do one thing will cause me to miss something else i may have enjoyed more. I guess that is the risk we all take with our everyday decisions.
I just want to be happy in the end (i know, i know...i am rambling like crazy, but eff you guys, this is my journal! :P). I guess happiness is just something we all must learn to appreciate as a temporary sensation that takes work and luck combined. To sum up, i have talked about nothing, but at least i wrote something, at least i releases some of this sadness onto my journal.