My Chest Is Caving In
You know, sometimes I just feel like giving up. I know it's not a wise thing to do, but I suddenly have this overwhelming feeling that at any moment EVERYTHING will come crashing down. I'm usually pretty calm and collected, but today has been a trying day. I've backed myself into a corner and I'm not sure that I'll ever get out. It's so much to think of and so much to do!
My mother was right, though. I never understood her when she would say to me as a youth, "Christopher, you just don't understand. It's so hard to keep going. I just want to give up. This is too much to handle." She normally said this in a fit of crying. I don't mean that to sound mean, but it's true. Of course, I sat there with my cocky expression and said to myself, "I don't get what's so HARD!"
I remembered that last night when I was talking to her about school. She started that I've-been-there-before tone and told me, "I remember what it was like. School is hard. Sometimes everything is so hard." I understood what she was saying now. I was going through what she was, except I'm not raising FOUR children. It's funny how things repeat themselves in a different perspective. I've noticed this a bunch lately.
I'm going to stick with my tribulations, but it is hard. One of these days . . . I . . . w . o . n . ' . t . . . f . e . e . l . . . s . t . r . e . s . s . e . d . , . . . I . . . w . o . n . ' . t . . . f . e . e . l . . . c . l . o . u . d . y . , . . . I . . . w . o . n . ' . t . . . f . e . e . l . . . BOMBARDED.
I'll be surprised if I don't get a stomach ulcer when I'm 25.