I'm Burning A Star
My New user Pic is great! it's from Yu Yu Hakusho and that guy that it's crossing out is bad and not so hot like Hiei XD J/K! but I thought it was funny.
I've been in a weird mood and stuff....got done watching Selena and I got one of her songs in my head...it's spanish and all and I don't know the name of it so I'm scrowed. >.O
I've been doing ok, I'm kinda sick and mad and stuff but......I'm ok....I guess.........this morning wasn't my morning but found out I'll be getting my hair cut very soon, once my cool grandma gets money which wont be long. so I guess that's a happy thing......*sigh*.....but...I've just been such a reck........more moody..more angry...more sad........I guess being stuck in the house for this long and only get to go to school and back home...just isn't really sitting well with me.......cause I'm use to going out to either Keith's or Azelia's or just go out somewhere...because I like being outside...and I never really got to go outside when I was little but sence I turned 16 my grandmother just doesn't care............*shrugs* I don't know..but I really want to go outside....or somewhere other than home...I'd rather be anywhere else but home......cause at home....all I end up doing is Fighting with my family...crying....or something else.......and I really don't like doing any of them.......I hate fighting with people..I HATE crying...I just want it all to stop for a while and just.....stop........I have my grandmother breathing down my back about who I am now...that My music isn't good for me, that I am the reason why everything in the world is going wrong...that...People are too good for me......now I have it in my head...that everyone......just........it's like.......that people are better with out me....but I'm not better off without people....because I like being around people...but.....my grandmother.....just wont stop...she just wants me to be inside the house, cooking, cleaning, watching the kids, or something like a "Woman" should do but I'm different, I'm not going to just sit around and put on a fake smile just to make everyone happy! No! I want to make clothes, I want to draw, I want to do alot of things and that's what I am going to do when I'm out of my home, I'm going to do what I want to do and what I think my life should be like not what my grandmother wants me to have it! I'm not going to be like she is I'm going to work and all that other stuff not sit at home and please everyone. I'm going to have a career and a life other than a house-wife life!
NO!
And if my grandmother has a problem with that I do not care, Because I have control of my life not she, or anyone else. I sick of everyone telling me what I want or what my life should be and I'm smart enough to know the different between good and bad, what's right and wrong. I don't want to Drink and end up like Santos (My father) and I don't want to do drugs because I see those that are in my family and how they acted and lived and I DO NOT want to be like that. I'm not stupid, I'm smart enough to know, yes I'm still young but I know what's out there and crap and I know that there are no garantees in life, but I have to try! and I'm going to try and be what I want to be, and that's a fashion designer I love drawing clothes, I love making them, and that's what I want to do, and that's what I'm going to do, regardless of what anyone says...I don't care what anyone thinks of what I want to do...I don't care! it's not their life it's mine!
Ok enough with that. I had to get that out....been holding it in for to long....maybe to long.
Well I guess I'll go. Later!
~<3~
I've been in a weird mood and stuff....got done watching Selena and I got one of her songs in my head...it's spanish and all and I don't know the name of it so I'm scrowed. >.O
I've been doing ok, I'm kinda sick and mad and stuff but......I'm ok....I guess.........this morning wasn't my morning but found out I'll be getting my hair cut very soon, once my cool grandma gets money which wont be long. so I guess that's a happy thing......*sigh*.....but...I've just been such a reck........more moody..more angry...more sad........I guess being stuck in the house for this long and only get to go to school and back home...just isn't really sitting well with me.......cause I'm use to going out to either Keith's or Azelia's or just go out somewhere...because I like being outside...and I never really got to go outside when I was little but sence I turned 16 my grandmother just doesn't care............*shrugs* I don't know..but I really want to go outside....or somewhere other than home...I'd rather be anywhere else but home......cause at home....all I end up doing is Fighting with my family...crying....or something else.......and I really don't like doing any of them.......I hate fighting with people..I HATE crying...I just want it all to stop for a while and just.....stop........I have my grandmother breathing down my back about who I am now...that My music isn't good for me, that I am the reason why everything in the world is going wrong...that...People are too good for me......now I have it in my head...that everyone......just........it's like.......that people are better with out me....but I'm not better off without people....because I like being around people...but.....my grandmother.....just wont stop...she just wants me to be inside the house, cooking, cleaning, watching the kids, or something like a "Woman" should do but I'm different, I'm not going to just sit around and put on a fake smile just to make everyone happy! No! I want to make clothes, I want to draw, I want to do alot of things and that's what I am going to do when I'm out of my home, I'm going to do what I want to do and what I think my life should be like not what my grandmother wants me to have it! I'm not going to be like she is I'm going to work and all that other stuff not sit at home and please everyone. I'm going to have a career and a life other than a house-wife life!
NO!
And if my grandmother has a problem with that I do not care, Because I have control of my life not she, or anyone else. I sick of everyone telling me what I want or what my life should be and I'm smart enough to know the different between good and bad, what's right and wrong. I don't want to Drink and end up like Santos (My father) and I don't want to do drugs because I see those that are in my family and how they acted and lived and I DO NOT want to be like that. I'm not stupid, I'm smart enough to know, yes I'm still young but I know what's out there and crap and I know that there are no garantees in life, but I have to try! and I'm going to try and be what I want to be, and that's a fashion designer I love drawing clothes, I love making them, and that's what I want to do, and that's what I'm going to do, regardless of what anyone says...I don't care what anyone thinks of what I want to do...I don't care! it's not their life it's mine!
Ok enough with that. I had to get that out....been holding it in for to long....maybe to long.
Well I guess I'll go. Later!
~<3~