Pain
No, I haven't gone emo on you folks - this is actual, physical pain.
No, this won't be sappy - that's not how I roll. Not anymore anyhow. This is self-deprecating though, so if you take me serious at all in any put-downs or making-fun-of-myself, take a step back and remember that I know I am fucking awesome and have a laugh with me, shall you?
Over a week ago, after a meet up with a ladyfriend went awry to have a beer while watching the Rangers go on to slap the Devils around (plans rescheduled for this week), dear Courtney invited me over to her friend Kristen's (aka: Supergirl)apartment for beer and burgers. Talk about being in the right place at the right time, I was already in Albany as it was, so I just had to truck it over to Delmar. Excellent.
I make my way over there and arrive and meet the Supergirl. Supergirl is a long-time friend of Courtney's I'd yet to meet and long time friend's of good friends of mine are instantly good people. They offer me beer and I gleefully accept. I ask about the burgers. I was told there would be burgers.
"No burgers tonight, my ex-boyfriend took the full propane tank with him when he left," says Kristen.
I already greatly dislike this guy whoever he is. I get it that propane is the manly thing, but a grill without propane is... well, it's not good. Hank Hill would know better I imagine.
Courtney offers me some other kinds of food that all contained ingredients that are on my own personal food terror watch list (pickles and the like) so I begged off. This...was a bad choice. I say this because after beer one, there was beer two. Beer two was quite good and then there was no more beer. For shame. Since Kristen is a girl, however, there was copious amounts of wine. Praise be to Jebus. I have a glass or two and the bottle we were all partaking of is now empty. Oh dear.
I'm sent along to pick out a bottle of the Goat - another quite tasty wine that is easy on the palate of a wine novice who's well on the way to ridiculous drunkenness. The lot of us sat around and shot the breeze with Kristen's equal-aged neighbors and had a grand ole time on such a nice night out in April. During these conversations I began to make note to myself that, "Hmm I seem to be getting a bit drunk, I should slow it down."
Too late. Empty stomach + beer + bottle and a half of wine = Nighty, night Joe.
Now, for anyone who's known me for a while this generally means that I actually do fall asleep. Lately, and this is the part that bothers me, this means that I am still quite active but cannot recall anything that I've done. Yeah, not good.
So before the mindless action ensued, one of the neighbors, Erin began wrestling with her equally attractive girl friend out in the grass by the porch. Who doesn't love good looking girls wrestling, right? Sometime after this, I checked out. Unfortunate I know.
I wake up in the morning on Kristen's couch and immediately thought, "Oh shit. Where am I and how'd I get here?" I look around and see I'm in Kristen's living room. Good, I remember this place. Nothing is missing from or on me - that's good too!
OW! What is this pain in my side? Wait, it's not in my side, its in the ribcage. Oh crap. What'd I do?
Courtney comes out to tell me she's leaving to go back home. I ask her what happened and what did I do to hurt my ribs.
"Oh... well you started to wrestle with Erin. It was really funny. I got a picture too!"
Oh...oh good. My immediate thought was that this happened and then her husband/boyfriend stepped in and slugged me. However, my face wasn't marred so that couldn't have been the case. I figured she pulled a Goldberg on me and speared me and reawakening the busted ribs I got back in August.
Now that it's been more than a week later, I've decided that it's not a rib injury since breathing deep doesn't hurt, the area just hurts regardless especially if I stretch out or anything like that. Yup, pulled or strained a muscle wrestling with women. I'm a regular Andy Kaufman everyone. Supply me with the appropriate amount of booze and I'll wrestle your girlfriend too.
Hoo boy. Anyhow, on top of that annoying pain, my teeth are aggravating me yet again. Thankfully I'm getting that taken care of in July. God bless you creators of aspirin and ibuprofen, hopefully I'm not on the road to pulling a Brett Favre and downing hydrocodones for fun.
No, this won't be sappy - that's not how I roll. Not anymore anyhow. This is self-deprecating though, so if you take me serious at all in any put-downs or making-fun-of-myself, take a step back and remember that I know I am fucking awesome and have a laugh with me, shall you?
Over a week ago, after a meet up with a ladyfriend went awry to have a beer while watching the Rangers go on to slap the Devils around (plans rescheduled for this week), dear Courtney invited me over to her friend Kristen's (aka: Supergirl)apartment for beer and burgers. Talk about being in the right place at the right time, I was already in Albany as it was, so I just had to truck it over to Delmar. Excellent.
I make my way over there and arrive and meet the Supergirl. Supergirl is a long-time friend of Courtney's I'd yet to meet and long time friend's of good friends of mine are instantly good people. They offer me beer and I gleefully accept. I ask about the burgers. I was told there would be burgers.
"No burgers tonight, my ex-boyfriend took the full propane tank with him when he left," says Kristen.
I already greatly dislike this guy whoever he is. I get it that propane is the manly thing, but a grill without propane is... well, it's not good. Hank Hill would know better I imagine.
Courtney offers me some other kinds of food that all contained ingredients that are on my own personal food terror watch list (pickles and the like) so I begged off. This...was a bad choice. I say this because after beer one, there was beer two. Beer two was quite good and then there was no more beer. For shame. Since Kristen is a girl, however, there was copious amounts of wine. Praise be to Jebus. I have a glass or two and the bottle we were all partaking of is now empty. Oh dear.
I'm sent along to pick out a bottle of the Goat - another quite tasty wine that is easy on the palate of a wine novice who's well on the way to ridiculous drunkenness. The lot of us sat around and shot the breeze with Kristen's equal-aged neighbors and had a grand ole time on such a nice night out in April. During these conversations I began to make note to myself that, "Hmm I seem to be getting a bit drunk, I should slow it down."
Too late. Empty stomach + beer + bottle and a half of wine = Nighty, night Joe.
Now, for anyone who's known me for a while this generally means that I actually do fall asleep. Lately, and this is the part that bothers me, this means that I am still quite active but cannot recall anything that I've done. Yeah, not good.
So before the mindless action ensued, one of the neighbors, Erin began wrestling with her equally attractive girl friend out in the grass by the porch. Who doesn't love good looking girls wrestling, right? Sometime after this, I checked out. Unfortunate I know.
I wake up in the morning on Kristen's couch and immediately thought, "Oh shit. Where am I and how'd I get here?" I look around and see I'm in Kristen's living room. Good, I remember this place. Nothing is missing from or on me - that's good too!
OW! What is this pain in my side? Wait, it's not in my side, its in the ribcage. Oh crap. What'd I do?
Courtney comes out to tell me she's leaving to go back home. I ask her what happened and what did I do to hurt my ribs.
"Oh... well you started to wrestle with Erin. It was really funny. I got a picture too!"
Oh...oh good. My immediate thought was that this happened and then her husband/boyfriend stepped in and slugged me. However, my face wasn't marred so that couldn't have been the case. I figured she pulled a Goldberg on me and speared me and reawakening the busted ribs I got back in August.
Now that it's been more than a week later, I've decided that it's not a rib injury since breathing deep doesn't hurt, the area just hurts regardless especially if I stretch out or anything like that. Yup, pulled or strained a muscle wrestling with women. I'm a regular Andy Kaufman everyone. Supply me with the appropriate amount of booze and I'll wrestle your girlfriend too.
Hoo boy. Anyhow, on top of that annoying pain, my teeth are aggravating me yet again. Thankfully I'm getting that taken care of in July. God bless you creators of aspirin and ibuprofen, hopefully I'm not on the road to pulling a Brett Favre and downing hydrocodones for fun.