Weary yet thoughtful.
It's late, and it's a long time since I've been here. Sometimes I just like to look up dates to see what I was doing a year ago today, two years ago. And for every year that passes by, there's another year I can look back at. It's how I imagine time travelling isn't.
Out tonight, we were at the Purple turtle in Camden. I wrote about this place earlier in the year. The place I saw Katie Wynn in. I was recalling with Phil a conversation we had, and feeling a bit embarassed. This past year's been a blur. I have wrote so very little in my journal, I don't have my website domain or hosted space anymore. I don't have time to maintain that, amongst other things.
This, now, reminds me of all those journal entries I wrote after a 4 hour late shift at the local Spar-esque store. Musings of the evening, tapped down wearily yet thoughtfully. People back home are so much safer than here. The Purple Turtle is filled with wankers, yet they probably feel the same about me.
On a completely different note, Ian harassed me today, and I spoke to him, civilly (at first). But then, as expected, he was a *sigh* loser; went off on one, described how he put himself in hospital over me for a week because I 'told him to kill himself'. Like indifference is a crime. But I'm fine, and that's all that matters - right? I don't feel sorry for him after everything he did to me. I don't hate him I just wish he'd disappear. Oh wait, he might interprit that as me telling to kill himself. I wish he'd just... get over me. And leave me alone. Alas, upon reading this maybe he will harass me further. Hell, go back, Ian, read some of the posts I made public... Ah, I'm just pissed off. The Purple Turtle does that too me.
I'm happy with my new boyfriend. More than that; it's really brilliant. I had forgotten what it meant to actually love someone and just want to be with someone. My last relationship filled me with way too much paranoia, hate, jealousy. I feel better now. I do worry about the effects it's had on me, the bad traits which may have rubbed off onto me, but it could never be as bad as that.