update on life
Ok well I told you all about my vacation and stuff. Well, since then it has been back to work and all. Work is well just plain sucks the big one. Being the manager of it all you would think that I would get a better set of hours to work. But, I make the terrible mistake of letting my cohort do most of the schedule and it sucks. I have 2 weekends off out of 10 weeks. I'm so dam pissed off about it I could spit nails. We had discussed holidays and I told her since my sister was not coming home from England over Christmas I would work Christmas but I wanted Thanksgiving off well the bitch went and scheduled herself on another cruise for Thanksgiving and now I'm stuck working that holiday so I'm sure now I will get Christmas off which I do not need. Oh well so much for my sister coming in from England and all guess she will have to see me for short period instead of a full day of fun with her. Sorry, to go on about this but I'm so sick and tired of playing up to this at work it really is getting to me.
Ok onto brighter things the main reason I have not spent much time updating is because yes to all of you I'm still caught up in Brokeback addiction beyond my belief. I spend every waking moment I can spare reading all the great slash fiction on Brokebackslash/Wranglers/FFfiction.net/Dave Cullen forum and so forth. Pat thinks I'm in some serious trouble mentally since all I do is stay up late at night reading and reading and reading. I don't know what to say though I have thid urge to continue on and just read everything I can. I don't know how to explain all of this in my entire life I have never been affected by anything more. Some writers have messaged me asking me to write my own story. I have pondered at times if I should or should not try. I love to write even though my grammar is horrible and well I have the longest run on sentenances of anyone I know. Who knows maybe I will try and write something but I would need a beta to review it first before posting anywhere. I have so much in my head on this brokeback stuff but basically it is how I feel I should do something more with my life. Yeah some say Joe you do a lot you work with developmentally disabled adults you also work with a great staff and you try and influnce them to be the best they can be. But, what do I actually do? That is the big question.
Other notes and things: Well, in the middle of all of this I turned 42 last Wednesday and I hate 42 more then 40 you see Elvis died at 42, my paternal grandmother died at 42, all of my 13 aunts and uncles have had major heart problems at 42, 2 of my cousins have had serious illness happen at 42. I am just worried I guess who knows die young and leave a good looking corpse maybe that is my future. I don't think so I always have had this inner thing telling me that their was more for me to do in this world and something that would really make a difference. I don't know what that is and I am letting the spirits guide me to this. Also I have been getting depressed my dear friends Heidi and Sharon who over the 25 years I have known them they have moved away and come back to Erie numerous times but they are selling their home again and moving and this depresses me something terrible. December winds are coming and Stephen is going to graduate and move on also so back to just Joe and Pat again. I don't know if I can handle just Joe and Pat again even though as of late I have not done a lot with any of my friends just knowing they are around is enough for me. Why isn't Joe and Pat enough? Oh well these are all things going through my crazy wicked mind most days and yes maybe I should see a psychatrist or lock myself away or maybe I should just put on my cowboy hat and ride off into the mountains and find myself an Ennis. Oh but if dreams did come true, I'm a strange person I love the mountains and the country but boy I love the city as well. I guess we could consider high rise buildings as mountains and if I take the steps that would be like climging. Hmm, maybe it is time to try NYC and move on with my life. I don't know if anyone knows why Joe is living on this earth please speak now or forever hold your peace. I guess I will just go to STarbucks and drown in another frappacino and see where life takes me. Bless anyone who has the courage to read any or all of this. Joe
Ok onto brighter things the main reason I have not spent much time updating is because yes to all of you I'm still caught up in Brokeback addiction beyond my belief. I spend every waking moment I can spare reading all the great slash fiction on Brokebackslash/Wranglers/FFfiction.net/Dave Cullen forum and so forth. Pat thinks I'm in some serious trouble mentally since all I do is stay up late at night reading and reading and reading. I don't know what to say though I have thid urge to continue on and just read everything I can. I don't know how to explain all of this in my entire life I have never been affected by anything more. Some writers have messaged me asking me to write my own story. I have pondered at times if I should or should not try. I love to write even though my grammar is horrible and well I have the longest run on sentenances of anyone I know. Who knows maybe I will try and write something but I would need a beta to review it first before posting anywhere. I have so much in my head on this brokeback stuff but basically it is how I feel I should do something more with my life. Yeah some say Joe you do a lot you work with developmentally disabled adults you also work with a great staff and you try and influnce them to be the best they can be. But, what do I actually do? That is the big question.
Other notes and things: Well, in the middle of all of this I turned 42 last Wednesday and I hate 42 more then 40 you see Elvis died at 42, my paternal grandmother died at 42, all of my 13 aunts and uncles have had major heart problems at 42, 2 of my cousins have had serious illness happen at 42. I am just worried I guess who knows die young and leave a good looking corpse maybe that is my future. I don't think so I always have had this inner thing telling me that their was more for me to do in this world and something that would really make a difference. I don't know what that is and I am letting the spirits guide me to this. Also I have been getting depressed my dear friends Heidi and Sharon who over the 25 years I have known them they have moved away and come back to Erie numerous times but they are selling their home again and moving and this depresses me something terrible. December winds are coming and Stephen is going to graduate and move on also so back to just Joe and Pat again. I don't know if I can handle just Joe and Pat again even though as of late I have not done a lot with any of my friends just knowing they are around is enough for me. Why isn't Joe and Pat enough? Oh well these are all things going through my crazy wicked mind most days and yes maybe I should see a psychatrist or lock myself away or maybe I should just put on my cowboy hat and ride off into the mountains and find myself an Ennis. Oh but if dreams did come true, I'm a strange person I love the mountains and the country but boy I love the city as well. I guess we could consider high rise buildings as mountains and if I take the steps that would be like climging. Hmm, maybe it is time to try NYC and move on with my life. I don't know if anyone knows why Joe is living on this earth please speak now or forever hold your peace. I guess I will just go to STarbucks and drown in another frappacino and see where life takes me. Bless anyone who has the courage to read any or all of this. Joe