(no subject)
Oh, I'm sure anyone would KILL to be in my head right now. It's a trip. That isn't to say that I'm in a bad mood, because I'm honestly not. I'm in a good place. Things are soon going to be sorted out with the apartment in Murray, as crazy and pocket-eating as the whole affair is trying to get down there so routinely. You don't even want to know the whole story. Suffice it to say that I have tried to get this apartment, will have it, but I have to keep going down to Murray to do this that or the other thing, and I can't have it yet. I've been in the place. It's there. We'll pay. Why can't we... stay in it? It's the system, man. I hate it. The way places run anymore, there's so much crap you have to go through, it's a miracle anything ever gets done. This paperwork is a bunch of crock.
But anyway, I digress. That's been a journey, but otherwise, I've had nothing but time to sit around and... do nothing but wait. I want to DO SOMETHING! Instead, I'm basically forced to sit here and think about things, which is the real trip I mentioned. Like I said, I'm in a good place. A happy place. But I'm perplexed. I don't like being perplexex, I like to have some form of security and solidarity. I mean, I love to improvise and be spontaneous. That's part of my nature. But that doesn't change this matter, where I would just like to be... more secure in what I knew was going on.
I feel, to some degree, that I am not the sort of person that anyone could ever fall in love with. I don't know why I say that, because I really know it isn't true... or do I? It's perplexing is all I mean. "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." So goes the saying in Moulin Rouge, one of my favorite films. I would like for the latter to happen, but not because I want it to, but just naturally. You know, the whole party. The whole enchilada. The sort of thing I only have in my daydreams.
I'm a guy who has never had a girlfriend. Does that bother me? In the end, no, because I don't want to be going out just to be going out, but it does in the sense that... I don't have it. I don't have that special someone next to me to hold and love and care for and to go out and do my damnedest to support in every way. I want that. I have to realize that I'm only 22, and these things happen when they happen. "Can't Hurry Love". In any event, I'm praying and hoping to just be led to a place of peace, finding that or not. I've got it good, I've just been feeling that lately. Here's to the future, to dreams, to hopes, to the world being all it can be if we only give of ourselves... and to not being unhappy. Cheers!
But anyway, I digress. That's been a journey, but otherwise, I've had nothing but time to sit around and... do nothing but wait. I want to DO SOMETHING! Instead, I'm basically forced to sit here and think about things, which is the real trip I mentioned. Like I said, I'm in a good place. A happy place. But I'm perplexed. I don't like being perplexex, I like to have some form of security and solidarity. I mean, I love to improvise and be spontaneous. That's part of my nature. But that doesn't change this matter, where I would just like to be... more secure in what I knew was going on.
I feel, to some degree, that I am not the sort of person that anyone could ever fall in love with. I don't know why I say that, because I really know it isn't true... or do I? It's perplexing is all I mean. "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." So goes the saying in Moulin Rouge, one of my favorite films. I would like for the latter to happen, but not because I want it to, but just naturally. You know, the whole party. The whole enchilada. The sort of thing I only have in my daydreams.
I'm a guy who has never had a girlfriend. Does that bother me? In the end, no, because I don't want to be going out just to be going out, but it does in the sense that... I don't have it. I don't have that special someone next to me to hold and love and care for and to go out and do my damnedest to support in every way. I want that. I have to realize that I'm only 22, and these things happen when they happen. "Can't Hurry Love". In any event, I'm praying and hoping to just be led to a place of peace, finding that or not. I've got it good, I've just been feeling that lately. Here's to the future, to dreams, to hopes, to the world being all it can be if we only give of ourselves... and to not being unhappy. Cheers!