Old trouble in New castle
Time for a real update, I thought, as I strolled back on my way from the job centre. Yes, very sensible idea, I told myself, as thoughts flew through my little head as what to say in here. First off, I decided to censor a lot of it. Go figure. My journal, and I won't talk about some stuff. But this isn't for anyones benefit (or unbenefit?) just my own, because if I'm not typing it, I'm not thinking it, and if I'm not thinking it, I'm a happy bunny.
So what to say. I'm here. Have been a while. She's officially mine now, etc etc.
If you ignore the bad few nights this week, it's pretty good. I'm working pretty fucking hard on the job front, and it seems to be averagely slow.
But no.
I want to go to the V tonight. Can't. It's 400 miles away. I want to go to the Civiv. Can't. 400 miles away. Wulfren Hall. Can't. 400 miles away. Down the pub with Scott. Can't. Chill with H. Can't.
Etc etc etc.
I know I'm overly antisocial, but even I manage to go out once in a while to some noisey place with friends. Can't. 400 miles away.
Not that I'm massively homesick. I'm just missing going out. If home is the only place I've been to go out to noisey places with friends, I'm bound to miss it.
Not like her parents will let her out anywhere with me anymore after this week. Not like I have anyone else to go somewhere with.
I had a weird dream last night. There was this guy, Leech, and he was being an arse. This was in my house, I think. Well, when I went downstairs it was my house. Don't know what upstairs was. So I kick shit out of him. Really kick shit out of him. Then I go downstairs, and more people are in my house, doing some coking on the oven, so I just grab the shit and throw it at the window, and the room bursts into flames, they don't like it, I don't like it, no one likes it. And I'm so pissed off, blood starts coming out of my eyes.
I did realsie I'd lost my sunnys before I went to sleep, so maybe it's telling me not to go near bright stuff or my eyes will die again. That or make sure Leech isn't in my house with his buddies.
Meh.
I don't know why I have the urge to socialise today, but I do. Shame I'm completely lost.
Anyway, back out again now. Can't be spending half the day in bed, and all that.
So what to say. I'm here. Have been a while. She's officially mine now, etc etc.
If you ignore the bad few nights this week, it's pretty good. I'm working pretty fucking hard on the job front, and it seems to be averagely slow.
But no.
I want to go to the V tonight. Can't. It's 400 miles away. I want to go to the Civiv. Can't. 400 miles away. Wulfren Hall. Can't. 400 miles away. Down the pub with Scott. Can't. Chill with H. Can't.
Etc etc etc.
I know I'm overly antisocial, but even I manage to go out once in a while to some noisey place with friends. Can't. 400 miles away.
Not that I'm massively homesick. I'm just missing going out. If home is the only place I've been to go out to noisey places with friends, I'm bound to miss it.
Not like her parents will let her out anywhere with me anymore after this week. Not like I have anyone else to go somewhere with.
I had a weird dream last night. There was this guy, Leech, and he was being an arse. This was in my house, I think. Well, when I went downstairs it was my house. Don't know what upstairs was. So I kick shit out of him. Really kick shit out of him. Then I go downstairs, and more people are in my house, doing some coking on the oven, so I just grab the shit and throw it at the window, and the room bursts into flames, they don't like it, I don't like it, no one likes it. And I'm so pissed off, blood starts coming out of my eyes.
I did realsie I'd lost my sunnys before I went to sleep, so maybe it's telling me not to go near bright stuff or my eyes will die again. That or make sure Leech isn't in my house with his buddies.
Meh.
I don't know why I have the urge to socialise today, but I do. Shame I'm completely lost.
Anyway, back out again now. Can't be spending half the day in bed, and all that.