dilemma
hey everyone...joe here. im kinda stuck. i need your help. this is a really bad place to be...ok, here it goes:
I have hired to be in a traveling show for elementary schools in St. Johns. it pays and it pays good. i signed a contract during the summer agreeing to do this so i am stuck. two of the shows conflict with two tech rehearsals for Joseph. I talked to Ms McCall and she told me that i could still do the show but i lose the Butler solo. thus, im just a brother. i completely agree with her decision, but that doesn't mean its easy for me. I really wanted the Butler, since that was the only solo i was good enough for. i was happy. but im not sure if i can commit all that time for just a chorus part again, like dolly. i wouldn't mind but i have so much stuff to do. i know that sounds overexagerated, but it is true. i have this touring show, school, another show that i rehearse for at night, voice lesson, dance lesson, working at OPCT, helping out my mom, and other last moment things that i get thrown into. don't get me wrong, i wouldn't have it any other way, and im sure that some of you have just as hectic a life as i do, but i am getting spread thin. it would be easier to make the commitment to school if i knew i had a solo part, but now that that is taken away, it just seems cumbersome. there is no temper tantrum or grudges here, i am just trying to figure out what to do. im about to get my license, i am paying for my car, im gonna have insurance and i need a job. i just dont know if i can commit three hours after school for a chorus part. i dont want to sound like a premadonna and i have never been good at writing down feelings, but i just need help. please give me your opinions. im at a loss. i dont want to quit...but...i dont know.
Looking Back
As time goes by all things change, like they always do. But I can't help but thing about what happened between me and you. We both have changed, and maturity is something neither of us lack. So please understand and bare with me in my regretful looking back. In the beginning we started so normal, as any friends of the like would. I tried my best to impress, i tried the hardest that i could. I wanted to prove to you that i wasn't just anyone, but in doing so i have unintentionally, our friendship undone. I have faced my demons that overcame me, in that time not long ago, and i understand your decision, but i want you to know. If i knew i would have hurt you, or driven you away. I would have done my best to keep all my feelings at bay. With my mistake forever shall I regretfully live. But know I am grateful, for this chance to give, An explanation for my actions so long ago transgressed. I guess what I was hoping for was for you to be impressed. The mistake I made was made by one attempting not to be Myself because inside I knew you could never like me. So if you decision still remains the same in the end, I want to thank you now for being a very trusted friend. A look back. ~ Joe