Now how do I do this again?
Well, we're going to try this blogging thing again. Why? Why else. I have issues, I don't feel like talking about them in person to someone, so I need a place to vent. So guess what. You all have to deal with it. Because that's what this thing is here for, I'm convinced
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Joeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
On the weight issues.... welcome to what it feels like to be a girl ;) Unfortunately, being a girl isn't a curable condition, but losing weight is. If you have any interest in DDR whatsoever, I'd suggest it -- it's surprisingly fun (I absolutely would never have seen myself enjoying it, but tried it on a whim one day and really liked it), and all that jumping around is beneficial. I've tried the gym thing and hated it -- nothing makes you feel more fat and useless than doing stupid, boring exercizes because you feel fat and useless. But playing DDR is just like playing any other video game, just one where you also happen to lose weight. So it's way more fun.
Your dreams seem more like a symptom of your overall emotional state than something you need to worry about in of themselves. Feel better about yourself and I bet they'll go away. If you want to concentrate and work through them, maybe keeping a dream log would help you understand what the hell they're about.
Smoking -- stop it! Do you need me to nag you? I will!
Writing -- awesome! Do it! I know you were crushed when you stopped going to College Park, so getting yourself back into classes will probably be great for you. It'll be tough having a job and classes, but if it's that important to you, you'll find a way to manage.
I know how you feel about the morbidity. When I was working last stummer, Stacey Eckler sometimes frequents the store, and I told her about Ben - she hadn't heard yet. But these crappy things happen. Age is not a always a prerequisite. People have died stupidly for hundreds of thousands of years, but somehow we always assume that you have to be 90 before it happens.
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