yaddah yaddah yaddah
"mel, behave"..."mel, be more like him."..."mel, why are you always so rude?"..."mel, why are you always uncomfortable around white people?"..."aye mel, they're only joking around, stop being such a stiff."..."you need to learn how to take criticism better"... "mel, look at mikey, he's so nice. why can't you be more like that?"
what do they expect from me? to become a brown nosing clone with a stick up my ass, and talk to people who dont even know i exist?
all those are things ihear on a very regular basis. im tired of it. im sorry im not your perfect daughter, and im sorry im not even your daughter. i've never understood why it's so hard to get accepted, even in one's own famiy. i feel like they're never satisfied, despite all my efforts. whatever, i'll get over it, like always. but when i have people who are constantly making me look like the worst kid ever, and how im so ungrateful, i hate it. i still cant get over that my mom thinks i hate "white people." just because my dad's side of the family, who is mostly white, or white washed to the point where you could never tell there was any bit of chicano in them, dont even realize that im a real person, DOES NOT MAKE ME RACIST! im anticipating june. i want to be out, on my own, and not have to worry how they view me anymore. im tired of having to hear about how so and so's daughter got into cal poly pomona, and stanford, while im going to cal state la, if anything. i just want to do something right. aaah... that felt better. i needed to rant, and no one wanted to listen. lj's a very nice rant taker-inner...SCAPEGOAT! the word im looking for. anyways, im out. i said what i had to say. peace out, pilgrims!
what do they expect from me? to become a brown nosing clone with a stick up my ass, and talk to people who dont even know i exist?
all those are things ihear on a very regular basis. im tired of it. im sorry im not your perfect daughter, and im sorry im not even your daughter. i've never understood why it's so hard to get accepted, even in one's own famiy. i feel like they're never satisfied, despite all my efforts. whatever, i'll get over it, like always. but when i have people who are constantly making me look like the worst kid ever, and how im so ungrateful, i hate it. i still cant get over that my mom thinks i hate "white people." just because my dad's side of the family, who is mostly white, or white washed to the point where you could never tell there was any bit of chicano in them, dont even realize that im a real person, DOES NOT MAKE ME RACIST! im anticipating june. i want to be out, on my own, and not have to worry how they view me anymore. im tired of having to hear about how so and so's daughter got into cal poly pomona, and stanford, while im going to cal state la, if anything. i just want to do something right. aaah... that felt better. i needed to rant, and no one wanted to listen. lj's a very nice rant taker-inner...SCAPEGOAT! the word im looking for. anyways, im out. i said what i had to say. peace out, pilgrims!