This Book Will Change Your Life: Day 10 - Do A Runner
TODAY DO A RUNNER. Runner Etiquette: 1. Wait until the coffee course, particularly if there is a set menu. 2. Do not leave your date behind, unless you are sure it is the last time you wish to see them. 3. Do not start actually "running" until you are outside the restaurant. 4. Do not select the heaviest items on the menu. Running on a bouillabaisse is medically inadvisable. 5. Beginners and the shy: Do a "practice runner" before ordering any food.
I used to work in the service industry, so I was pretty sure this was a task I was going to have to skip -- even a practice runner fucks with the hostess & waiter/waitress trying to figure out how to seat an equal amount of tables to an equal amount of patrons. So I decided to skip this one.
The problem was, I found myself against a roadblock by skipping one item. As the days and weeks went on, I meant to do more assignments, but I'd missed this one, so I felt like I had to stop here, had to wait, be fair, etc.
Then, I volunteered for a charity dinner as a hostess. My job was supposed to be simple: show up, set up, eat dinner, check in charity dinner participants, stay till the end of the evening.
Nothing is ever simple.
I arrived at the location ten minutes early to find that some very helpful but naive people decided to crash the Charity Dinner and were already setting up. Okay, fine. I went to the bar and got my free diner and drinks, assuming that when the Kind-Hearted Crashers finished setting up, they'd get their dinner and I could do my duties for the evening.
The meal was free, by the way, if you were a volunteer, so I figured these guys were just there to set up and get a free meal out of 15 minutes of work, but strangely enough, that's not how it played out. Instead, they took turns coming up to the bar, ordering food, and then manning the stations, standing behind other registered volunteers who looked as comfortable as I did with the extra "help".
Frustrated, I looked at my watch. I'd only been there an hour; it was a five hour event.
"This is going to be a long night." I thought.
That's when I remembered my assignment.
Coughing, I went to the coat check and handed in my ticket. As the girl handed me my gray great coat, one of the other, registered volunteers, approached me and suddenly my stomach dropped.
"This is where they demand I pay up if I don't help out, isn't it?" I thought.
"Going out for a smoke?" he said.
"Um...yes. Yes I am."
"Mind if I join you?"
"Uh, sure. I've just gotta grab my cigarettes from the car," I said in the most unconvincing lie ever.
"I can let you bum one," he said, extending a packet of Marlboros toward me.
"Aw, that's sweet," I replied, "but I only smoke menthol lights."
"Fair enough," he said. "I'll meet you back here."
"Totally," I said.
As soon as I was behind the building, I ran for the car, jumped in, and tore out of the parking lot without even stopping to put my seat belt on or close the door.
Damn that was close.
I used to work in the service industry, so I was pretty sure this was a task I was going to have to skip -- even a practice runner fucks with the hostess & waiter/waitress trying to figure out how to seat an equal amount of tables to an equal amount of patrons. So I decided to skip this one.
The problem was, I found myself against a roadblock by skipping one item. As the days and weeks went on, I meant to do more assignments, but I'd missed this one, so I felt like I had to stop here, had to wait, be fair, etc.
Then, I volunteered for a charity dinner as a hostess. My job was supposed to be simple: show up, set up, eat dinner, check in charity dinner participants, stay till the end of the evening.
Nothing is ever simple.
I arrived at the location ten minutes early to find that some very helpful but naive people decided to crash the Charity Dinner and were already setting up. Okay, fine. I went to the bar and got my free diner and drinks, assuming that when the Kind-Hearted Crashers finished setting up, they'd get their dinner and I could do my duties for the evening.
The meal was free, by the way, if you were a volunteer, so I figured these guys were just there to set up and get a free meal out of 15 minutes of work, but strangely enough, that's not how it played out. Instead, they took turns coming up to the bar, ordering food, and then manning the stations, standing behind other registered volunteers who looked as comfortable as I did with the extra "help".
Frustrated, I looked at my watch. I'd only been there an hour; it was a five hour event.
"This is going to be a long night." I thought.
That's when I remembered my assignment.
Coughing, I went to the coat check and handed in my ticket. As the girl handed me my gray great coat, one of the other, registered volunteers, approached me and suddenly my stomach dropped.
"This is where they demand I pay up if I don't help out, isn't it?" I thought.
"Going out for a smoke?" he said.
"Um...yes. Yes I am."
"Mind if I join you?"
"Uh, sure. I've just gotta grab my cigarettes from the car," I said in the most unconvincing lie ever.
"I can let you bum one," he said, extending a packet of Marlboros toward me.
"Aw, that's sweet," I replied, "but I only smoke menthol lights."
"Fair enough," he said. "I'll meet you back here."
"Totally," I said.
As soon as I was behind the building, I ran for the car, jumped in, and tore out of the parking lot without even stopping to put my seat belt on or close the door.
Damn that was close.