Melancoly
Hello everyone...
Friends and comrades of Michael Jach....
I just found out less than an hour ago that Mike took his own life, yesterday night... I cried, "what the fuck am I supposed to do?"
I can't believe he's gone.
It was only a week ago I talked to him last and we had been planning to go to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting (all of the associations... NA, AA, CA are all-encompassing)
I will be visiting Mrs. Jach later today, when she's home.. to pay my respects. I feel like my heart has been cut out of me and run over by a fleet of trucks. Man, I just wish I could have seen the warning signs... he was being avoidant, but then again, he was always like that... at least towards me.
I remember the last time I saw him alive was Sunday, July 30. He called me over to ask me if I had any cigarettes. I obliged, and came over. He was pretty drunk... and we both enjoyed Killian's Irish Red beers, taking drags from my Turkish Jades. We embraced, and he told me that he really wanted to get a grip on his drinking. It was controlling his life. I concurred, and said it would be good if we went to meetings together.
We sat and bullshitted, and he called Taylor. I only caught bits and pieces of the conversation, but she hadn't seen him in ages from what it sounded like. That boyfriend of hers has skewed her perception. I don't think she's an "evil bitch." I really don't... she's a sweet girl and was a dear friend, even if I don't agree with her decisions. Maybe it's her perception that I go around telling others she's a bad person. I hope she knows me better than that. I am not a bitter person. It's her life. What more can I say? One cannot stop hard drugs overnight... seriously. It's the lack of empathy that really makes a difference. No one, not even her or my other so-called friends could know what it is possibly like to stop all of that, and how hard it is. I've slipped up a few times, but now I have a better handle on it. If they don't want to be my friends anymore, well fuck them. I'll find better people who are capable of handling life and their own shit. I don't need their pity.
Now more than ever I think is a good time to move out. It will give me a chance to start off fresh and meet new people. Friends with goals, and people who will eventually become lifelong friends. As far as Lucky goes and all them, FUCK 'em. They're nothing but a bunch of deadbeats (with an exception to Dominique, of course.)
This is one hell of a shocker... I'm not going to bed anytime soon.... ugh... this is horrible!
If anyone would like to talk or go to Webb's please message me or ask for my number.
AIM: livinintvland
Be safe.
Friends and comrades of Michael Jach....
I just found out less than an hour ago that Mike took his own life, yesterday night... I cried, "what the fuck am I supposed to do?"
I can't believe he's gone.
It was only a week ago I talked to him last and we had been planning to go to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting (all of the associations... NA, AA, CA are all-encompassing)
I will be visiting Mrs. Jach later today, when she's home.. to pay my respects. I feel like my heart has been cut out of me and run over by a fleet of trucks. Man, I just wish I could have seen the warning signs... he was being avoidant, but then again, he was always like that... at least towards me.
I remember the last time I saw him alive was Sunday, July 30. He called me over to ask me if I had any cigarettes. I obliged, and came over. He was pretty drunk... and we both enjoyed Killian's Irish Red beers, taking drags from my Turkish Jades. We embraced, and he told me that he really wanted to get a grip on his drinking. It was controlling his life. I concurred, and said it would be good if we went to meetings together.
We sat and bullshitted, and he called Taylor. I only caught bits and pieces of the conversation, but she hadn't seen him in ages from what it sounded like. That boyfriend of hers has skewed her perception. I don't think she's an "evil bitch." I really don't... she's a sweet girl and was a dear friend, even if I don't agree with her decisions. Maybe it's her perception that I go around telling others she's a bad person. I hope she knows me better than that. I am not a bitter person. It's her life. What more can I say? One cannot stop hard drugs overnight... seriously. It's the lack of empathy that really makes a difference. No one, not even her or my other so-called friends could know what it is possibly like to stop all of that, and how hard it is. I've slipped up a few times, but now I have a better handle on it. If they don't want to be my friends anymore, well fuck them. I'll find better people who are capable of handling life and their own shit. I don't need their pity.
Now more than ever I think is a good time to move out. It will give me a chance to start off fresh and meet new people. Friends with goals, and people who will eventually become lifelong friends. As far as Lucky goes and all them, FUCK 'em. They're nothing but a bunch of deadbeats (with an exception to Dominique, of course.)
This is one hell of a shocker... I'm not going to bed anytime soon.... ugh... this is horrible!
If anyone would like to talk or go to Webb's please message me or ask for my number.
AIM: livinintvland
Be safe.