stress
I am feeling very stressed tonight. I mean its routed in psychological stress, but I'm having a very physical reaction. Like my breathing is funny, and my muscles are tight and achy. I fell shaky and my vision is slighly blurred...these are also the symptoms of having a heart attack. NEED MONEY! money money money, why do so many of my life woahs have to reflect back upon it!?! its so rediculous and unnecessary. I figured being able to rant on here would help me out a lot in feeling better, but so far its not really helping. It's just sorta making me focus on it more and the response is getting worse. Like I owe so much money, and I can't find anyone to sublet my apartment that I know and Chris and Justine would need to approve of them and bah. I don't know anyone really! I don't know what to do and I know Justine will read this and I'm just stressing out, not attacking you or whatever. Like I'm supposed to have two more sex toy parties this month, and the friendlies one seems to be not well organized and Tracy just told me about hers and Sarahs tonight. They also want to have it on the 30th so thats hardly enough time to put towards rent. Forget the other bills I need to be paying off more than the minimum for. I have NO idea why I thought I could afford to live on my own. NO IDEA. ARG!I'm excellent at digging myself in holes. Meanwhile I'm living at my parents because I don't have to pay for food or as much gas out here so I'm paying for a room that I have pretty much already vacated. I just need to find time to go with my dad and get like my bed and all my junk. AND if i don't find someone to sublet to I have NO idea how I'm going to be getting myself out of debt. This sucks so much and I know there is so much more to life than money and I'm very thankful for all that stuff so maybe it would help me out more to list those things than rant about my short comings.
So I'm glad today for...
my freinds who always make me smile (well usually anyways)
my family is back together and im realizing what a family really is
Crisman saying she missed having me around
Growing up
finally getting my associates degree
my extended curves family
Savannahs love of kitties and her moms masked hatred of everything which I seem to think is her love of everything
my mom
That my whole family will all be under one roof in a few weeks and we will be two family memebers larger with Miss. Kissy and Squishy (and perhaps her companion Mushy)
and knowing that debt isn't the worst thing in the world
So I'm glad today for...
my freinds who always make me smile (well usually anyways)
my family is back together and im realizing what a family really is
Crisman saying she missed having me around
Growing up
finally getting my associates degree
my extended curves family
Savannahs love of kitties and her moms masked hatred of everything which I seem to think is her love of everything
my mom
That my whole family will all be under one roof in a few weeks and we will be two family memebers larger with Miss. Kissy and Squishy (and perhaps her companion Mushy)
and knowing that debt isn't the worst thing in the world