Glee fic
My first ever Glee fic. Yay!
This fic was inspired by radical_archer 's comment about the latest promo. (The one with the shove)
Title: Shove and Tell
Beta: The wonderful casket_faction . A Ninja Beta of epic proportion.
Word count: 4773
Pairings: None really. Hints of Klaine and Kurtofsky. (If you squint)
Rating: PG-13/R for swearing and bad language.
Summary: Blaine 'accidentally' outs Dave in front of the Glee club
Original comment by radical_archer : If Blaine, in the heat of the moment, outs Dave to the Glee club or something, it will be horrifying and fantastic. There will be a moment where you could hear a pin drop, and then Kurt will probably flip his shit as much as Dave will, only Kurt will do it verbally while holding back Dave, who will probably want to do it physically by putting his fist in Blaine's face.
(1 - I know the men's line of Choo's will be out in June/July, but for the sake of this fic, ignore that. :D )
The song Dave sings is 'Somebody Else' by Nordman. Please open it in a browser window and listen to it as Dave 'sings'. It's one of my favourite songs ever.
Shove and Tell
This had been a bad idea.
He knew it before he came here, but he hadn't listened to his instincts. He had been too desperate.
He had needed to see him so badly.
After he had returned to school and realized that Hummel had transferred, Dave had walked around the rest of the day in a daze, thoughts swimming in his mind. It was his fault. Of course it was.
The fact that Hummel had transferred to freaking Dalton had come as a slap in the face. It wasn't like it was the last place he thought Hummel would go. No. Of course he would go there. That's where his midget boyfriend was.
Of course Hummel would run to his knight in shining armour. The jackass who'd tried to out Dave outside. In the open. Students only a couple of feet away. The bastard Hummel had defended as he had pushed the little freak up against the railing.
Even though he had known that Hummel ‘didn't dig chubby boys who sweat too much', and whatever 'happily ever after' Dave had secretly thought of would never happen, it had still hurt as Hummel had shoved the stupid gremlin in his face.
Dave scoffed.
Whatever.
Soon enough he had tried to convince himself that it was a good thing Fancy and his faggy clothes and weird shoes and stupid girly voice had left.
That way Dave could be normal.
He didn't have to see him in the halls. He didn't have to seek out his scent in the crowd. He didn't have to stare, transfixed on those incredibly soft lips.
No.
Hummel gone would be better.
It hadn't been.
Every morning he had woken up from a cold sweat as another guilty dream plagued his mind.
Every day he had thought of him.
Every night he had fallen asleep seeing the slight frame and the beautiful smile that made up Kurt Hummel. If he concentrated hard enough he had on some nights almost been able to hear his voice.
No, things had most certainly not become better.
That was why he was here, in the control booth, watching homo explosion dance around on the stage. They were rehearsing some new number, singing some gay song, just like usual.
Only...
Today there were two additions to the club.
Lame McShorty-Pants and... Hummel.
No... Kurt.
He hadn't seen him in so long, he had almost feared he'd forget the way he looked. The way he laughed. The way he moved, that tantalizing sway of his hips. His perfect hair and his soft, soft skin.
Dave sighed.
He sunk down onto a chair, elbows on his knees as he dug the heels of his palms into his eyes.
This was so lame! Lame! Lame! Lame! He repeated the words his mind again and again, trying to suppress the urge to just run down there and join the freaks. To show Kurt that he could be like that gelled fratboy.
To sing. Hell, he'd even dance if that meant Kurt would look at him!
He groaned as he recalled the horror-struck look Kurt had after the kiss that time in the locker room. He wanted to punch himself for not being able to control his emotions where Kurt was concerned. After that it had all gone downhill.
He was such a screwup, it was pathetic!
Not knowing how he could ever repent, Dave had just decided to try and push Kurt as far away from him as possible. That and try to intimidate him into never tell anyone of that one moment of true bliss in Dave’s life. His most shameful moment.
He leaned his head back onto the wall he ran a hand across his face, glaring up at the fluorescent lights, as if urging them to give him an answer to his problems.
They did not.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting his mind go blank.
“I wish that I could be a better kind of man,
a different kind of person
that I already am.
I wish that I could tell you,
the way I feel inside.
I got so many wishes,
I wish that I could hide.
I wish that I could be somebody else,
somebody else, yeah.
I wish that I could be somebody better than myself
somebody strong enough to hold you up,
and catch you when you fall.
If I could be somebody else I could do anything at all ”
His voice, deep and pained carried throughout the small room as he sang. Thinking of how he had treated Kurt, how he didn't deserve redemption, but wanting to make it all right somehow.
“I listen to my heart,
but I don't hear a sound.
'Cause all my expectations,
they only drag me down.
I listen for your footsteps,
I reach out for your hand.
I can't believe that someone
would have me as I am.
I wish that I could be somebody else,
somebody else, yeah.
Wish that I could be somebody better than myself,
somebody strong enough to hold you up
and catch you when you fall.
If I could be somebody else I could do anything:
I could spread my wings and fly like a bird.
I could shine like a star and light up the world,
heal the sick, save the children and feed the poor,
give them all a little love, instead of the war.
Fix my nose, dye my hear and cut out the crap.
Get my shit together and call it a wrap.
People gotta do what people gotta do
all I want to do is be a lot better for you ”
“I wish that I could be somebody else,
somebody else, yeah.
Somebody younger, thinner, richer,
someone better than myself.
Somebody strong enough to hold you up
and catch you when you fall.
If I could be somebody else
I could do anything at all.
I wish that I could be somebody else, somebody else,
somebody younger, thinner, richer,
someone better than myself.
Somebody strong enough to hold you up,
and catch you when you fall.
If I could be somebody else I could do anything at all.
Anything at all.
Anything at all.”
As he let the last notes die down he ran a hand across his face once more. “God, I'm such a stupid jackass, aren't I?” He half groaned, half laughed to himself before slowly opening his eyes.
“I don't really know why you're a jackass at this particular instance, but from previous incidents I'd say the judgement is pretty accurate.”
The soft, yet snarky voice made Dave turn his head towards the door, eyes wide.
It was like Dave’s mind was playing tricks on him.
Horrible, cruel tricks.
He blinked. “Hummel?”
Kurt rolled his eyes, wrapping his arms across his chest as he studied Karofsky. “At least we know that being a complete jackass hasn't affected your brilliant mind. Yes, me Hummel. You Karofsky.”
“What do you want?” Dave asked tiredly, not getting up from his chair, unsure if Kurt would take it as a threatening motion at all. He felt his stomach clench at the notion that he might have to analyse everything he did so it wouldn't frighten Kurt.
“Obviously, I want to know why you're spying on the Glee club. Are you in cahoots with Coach Sylvester? Is she leaking our set list again?” Kurt drawled, inspecting his manicured fingernails instead of looking at Dave.
“Leak what?” He wondered as he tried very hard not to look at Kurt. He wasn't entirely successful, but he wasn't straight out staring either, so it had to count for something. “Why would I be in cahoots with Coach Sylvester?” God, didn't Kurt know how absolutely gorgeous he was looking right now?
Kurt looked up from his nails only to send Dave a scathing look of mistrust and annoyance. “Probably because you hate Glee.”
Shaking his head, Dave met Kurt's stare head on. “I may be a lot of things, a jock and a bully, but I ain't no cheat.” He placed a hand on the back of his neck as he stood up. “Listen,” he began awkwardly, tearing his eyes away from Kurt's. “I... about before... I never... Fuck, this is hard.” He pulled his hand down from behind his neck in frustration, letting it fall listlessly to the side in a, hopefully, non threatening way. “I'm sorry, okay? I was an ass and I never should have done those things to you. And the... threat... I just want you to know that I never meant it. I was just scared and confused. I know that doesn't excuse it or anything, but I need you to understand that I'd never hurt you. Not... not for real...”
A bit taken aback by Karofsky's unexpected apology, Kurt just stared at him for a few seconds before finding his voice. “I... appreciate the apology. You're right in that it doesn't excuse anything, but I'm happy you seem to have come this far at least.”
Rubbing the toes of his left shoe against an imaginary stain on the carpet, Dave was shocked to hear Kurt talk back to him in an almost normal voice. He had expected the boy to throw his apology in his face and storm out, running to his boyfriend. Now, as the scenario he had pictured in his head had been thrown out the window, Dave had no idea how to react. “Um... thanks...”
“Well, apology aside, you're still an ass. I'd like to know that you won't hunt me down in the hallways and push me into lockers any time you see me, though. No matter who you are, or how hard it is to figure that out, you can't go around being a bully.“ Kurt's voice was challenging, as if he was daring Karofsky to say no. Kurt knew that he should probably be nicer to his former bully. There really wasn't a good idea to purposely annoy someone who could quite literally snap you in half. Even so, he was not going to let David Karofsky intimidate him any more.
David rolled his eyes and a tiny smile crept onto his lips. “If that's what I get when you accept my apology, I'd hate to know what you'd said to cut me down if you threw it back in my face.”
“There's still time if you'd like to find out.” Kurt said haughtily, but Dave could hear a hint of humour in his voice.
To Dave, that was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever heard. “Thanks, but no thanks, Fancy. I think I'll manage with one lashing today.”
Kurt tilted his head as Dave used the word 'Fancy', but as it wasn't said with his usual demeaning tone and the fact that it didn't feel like an insult, he let it slip. This time. “Well, if that's how you feel, fine.”
“It is, actually. And to answer your earlier question, no. I will not be roaming the halls, waiting for a chance to push you into a locker.”
“I'm glad to see you're beginning to reform, but I'm pretty sure that's not completely your doing. Right?”
Dave ignored Kurt's smug look and just shook his head. “If I bully someone, or whatever, I'll be off the football team, so yeah. Just isn't worth it, even if I did find it hilarious the way you flew into the lockers after a tiny shove.”
“Charming. Just charming. I can't believe nobody's snatched up a gem like you already. Unfathomable.” The condescending tone and the clearly superior look on Kurt's face made Dave all but lose it.
He broke down in laughter. He couldn't stop laughing, and the face of Kurt as Dave had doubled over and begun to laugh had been priceless. That's right. Fancy probably wasn't used to people laughing at him. He'd most likely expect people to fall onto their knees and kiss his Choo's.
Annoyance flashed in Kurt's eyes and he placed his hands on his hips. He didn't like the way Karofsky was laughing. Since he had an idea that the stupid jock was laughing at him, he liked it even less. “Care to tell me what's so funny?”
Dave tried to suppress the laughter, taking a couple of deep breaths before standing up straight again, chuckling to himself. “Nothing... just... your face looked so funny just then.” he said, almost going in for a second bout of hysteric laughing as Kurt's mouth fell open and a pale, thin hand moved to his cheek.
“What's wrong with my face?” he asked, turning to look at his reflection in the glass door.
“Nothing, Fancy. It was just your expression that was funny. No need for you to freak out, although that is kinda funny too.”
Kurt huffed as he turned around, eyes blazing with indignation. He crossed his arms over his chest once more, looking very much like a wronged child, ready to stomp his foot in annoyance.
The thought made Dave snort.
“Will you stop it with the laughing?” Kurt demanded, glaring at him.
Coughing into his hand, Dave nodded with a smile. “Whatever.”
Frowning, Kurt glared at Dave until the smile died down. “Thank you. You know, this is kind of hard for me to say, but you can sing. Why you of all people have such a voice will forever be a mystery, since it will probably only go to waste as you growl and huff on the football field. As surprised as I am to say this, I think you should join Glee.”
Surprise was not the word Dave would have described to describe what he felt at that moment. He was both horrified and happy. His mind began to battle his desire to be be close to Kurt, and his desperate wish to be normal. The tiny glimmer of hope that had begun swirling around in his mind suddenly died down. No. Kurt didn't need him. He had Short Stuff and there was no room for Dave. No. He couldn't risk losing everything just to be able to be in the same room as Kurt.
No.
He just couldn't.
“Do what? Join Glee? No way. I'm not committing social suicide!”
Kurt rolled his eyes at Dave. “Don't be such a drama queen. I may not be your biggest fan, but Finn seemed to think you'd want to join. Mercedes told me about how Finn talked to the guys about letting you join. I agree with him. And since I already got an apology, there's nothing stopping you.”
“Nothing stopping me? Except for the fact that my rep would go down the drain faster than Puckerman gives swirlies. Thanks but no thanks. I want nothing to do with you or homo explosion.”
“Whatever. If you change your mind, the offer still stands. We could use more strong male vocals.”
“I wouldn't count on it, Hummel.” Dave growled, temporarily slipping back into his old ways. He needed to get away from here. He couldn't keep resisting if Kurt continued to look at him like that. With expectation instead of fear. With annoyance instead of hate. With... mirth instead of disgust.
“What's going on here?” Blaine demanded as he walked inside, standing next to Kurt.
Fantastic. The curly-haired dwarf has come to save the day!
Fucking perfect.
“Nothing, Blaine. We're just talking.” Kurt said, a small smile on his lips as he turned to Blaine.
Not taking his eyes off of Dave, Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze.“You sure you're okay?”
Dave wanted to gag.
The fag totally did that just so Dave would feel uncomfortable. Who did the little freak think he was? Touching Kurt in front of him... “For god's sake, sparkle-pants, I'm not gonna attack him.” Dave growled, glaring at the shorter boy next to Kurt.
“Yeah? Looking back on previous occasions, your words are less than convincing!” Blaine said, taking a step closer to Dave, positioning himself in front of Kurt.
“Like I care what you think, half pint!” Dave’s eyes narrowed as Bland McBoring stepped closer to Kurt
Letting go of Kurt's hand, Blaine rose a finger and pointed it at the jock in front of him. “You know what? I'm getting so sick of you and your attitude! Stay away from Kurt!”
“Blaine, I can take...” Kurt was cut short as Dave loomed over Blaine.
“You know what? I'm done with this. You two princesses can go brush each other's hair or whatever fags like you do on your spare time. I have better things to do.” Fighting down his annoyance Dave shoved his hands into his pockets and took a step forward to walk past the pair, but he was immediately aware of the hands on his chest pushing him backwards.
“Oh Gaga.” Kurt said as he rolled his eyes at the two boys in front of him. When had Blaine turned into Neanderthal #2?
It didn't hurt, and he wasn't even shook off balance, it was more the audacity of the little freak that had him stunned for two seconds. “Get out of my face, fag!”
Blaine smirked as he took a step closer to Dave, getting into his personal space. “Funny you should say that, seeing as I should say it myself. Get out of my face, fag.”
Dave’s cheek flared red and his eyes narrowed dangerously. “I'm not a fucking fag!” He growled, trying to fight down the horror that had begun spreading throughout his body.
“Really? My mistake, then. I kinda assumed that people who bully boys they like and then kisses them are, in fact, closet fags! So sorry!” Blaine all but shouted in Dave’s face, a sick sort of satisfaction welled up within him as he saw the jock's face go pale.
“Oh my god!”
That was all it took for everyone in the room to turn to the door where all of glee club were now standing, staring at them wide eyed. It was so silent in the room, you could probably hear a pin drop. They all just stared at each other for a few seconds before all hell broke loose.
Horror had been the first feeling that had struck him. The second had been anger. Red hot anger welled within him and he lunged. Desperate to sink his fist into the smug face of the dweeb in front of him he moved forward, fist raised and an angry yell escape him. “I'm gonna fucking kill you!”
Kurt was stunned. How could Blaine do that? Didn't he know that one of the biggest no-no's in the gay community was to out someone not ready? If it had been a slip up in private it hadn't been such a big deal, but with the whole glee club behind them, listening in... This was bad... really bad! He looked up just in time to see Dave’s face go from white to red. It was like everything happened in slow motion. Dave raised his fist, took a step forward, and grabbed Blaine’s shirt with his left hand.
Kurt’s eyes widened. He knew he had to do something. He couldn't let Dave kick Blaine’s ass, that'd get the boy expelled. And as much as Kurt didn't like Karofsky... Dave... he didn't exactly deserve to get expelled this time.
Without thinking Kurt moved forward, placing his thin hands on Dave’s broad chest, trying to hold him back. “Dave, stop this!”
Blaine pulled free of Dave’s hold and took a couple of steps back. “Kurt, get away from him. He's clearly unstable.” Blaine said, rubbing his throat uncomfortably.
“Oh shut up, Blaine! This is all your fault.” Kurt shot back as he tried to hold Dave back.
Blaine's shocked face irritated Kurt to no end. Like he was surprised Kurt was mad at him. “What? My fault?”
“Yeah. If you'd never come gallivanting in like some knight to 'rescue' me from a perfectly amicable conversation, this wouldn't have happened.” Kurt said, trying for all he was worth to hold Dave back, but he knew he'd fail sooner or later.
“Let me go, Kurt. I'm gonna make pretty-boy better acquainted with my fist!” Dave growled dangerously.
A flood of relief washed over Kurt as Mike and Sam ran up and helped him hold Dave back. Finally he could take a step back and turn to Blaine. “You should leave.” he said, trying to fight down the annoyance and resentment he felt. After all. Blaine surely couldn't have meant it. It was just bad timing as the glee club showed up at that moment. He sighed.
“I should leave?” Blaine asked, a bit taken aback. He had only tried to protect Kurt, and now he was the bad guy? “Fine. But I think you should come with me. You've been through enough today. I'll drive you home.”
“Thanks, but I shouldn't cut my first day back. Besides, I have some... talking to do.” Kurt looked over at where Dave stood, held back by Mike and Sam, still looking like he'd rip Blaine’s head off if they let him go.
“Are you serious? Are you going to talk some more with the Neanderthal?” Blaine asked incredulously. “He's the reason you had to transfer in the first place. He couldn't handle being gay so he decided to declare 'Kurt-shoving' a national sport! He's a closeted asshole. You should just...” Suddenly the room got quiet once more.
This time the only thing that could be heard was the echoes of a resounding 'smack' as Kurt's palm had connected to Blaine's cheek.
The stunned looks throughout the room didn't hold a candle to the surprised look in Blaine’s face as the boy slowly raised his hand to place over the spot where he had been struck.
“You have no right outing someone! If Dave doesn't want to tell anyone, that is his business. I can't believe you of all people would do this!” Kurt all but screeched, throwing his arms into the air in exasperation. “Don't you get how horrible it feels when you think someone knows your secret? No. Of course you don't. You're Blaine, the perfect guy with all the answers. You should leave. Now!”
Blaine narrowed his eyes and glared at Kurt. “Fine. Do whatever you like! The next time he assaults you, don't come crying to me!” With as much dignity he could muster, shoulders squared and head held high, Blaine walked out of the room. The gleeks parted like the red sea as he walked past, all too stunned to comment on the scene in front of them.
As soon as Blaine had walked out, Dave pulled away from Sam and Mike, turning to glare at the rest of the glee losers around the room. “If anyone breathes a word of this to anyone, you're dead!” he growled, ignoring the voice in his head that told him to run away. He had to look strong in front of these assholes, or they'd ruin his life at McKinley. The only way he knew how to shut people up was through threats, although it hadn't worked too well the last time, but he was willing to risk expulsion over becoming the laughingstock to the whole school.
“Like hell!” Puck exclaimed, an evil grin on his lips. “I'm gonna make your life a living hell, Karofsky. Payback's a bitch, and apparently, so are you!”
“Say that to my fist, Puckerman!” Dave yelled and lunged for Puck. This time neither Kurt, Sam or Mike could reach Dave in time for them to prevent him from reaching Puck. Instead Dave slammed his fist into the side of Puck's face, making him fly into the nearby wall.
“Stop that!” Kurt demanded and pulled Dave back from the cluster of people by the door. “I'll make sure they won't talk, just... calm down.”
“They better not, because if I hear as much as a word, I'll...”
“I know. The Fury, blah, blah, blah. Way to be original.” Rolling his eyes Kurt turned to his friends. “Look. You weren't supposed to hear that earlier. You can't tell anyone about this. Okay?”
The room exploded into a cacophony of voices. All talking, yelling, at the same time, making it virtually impossible for Kurt to hear what they were saying.
“Shut the fuck up!” Dave yelled, annoyed.
“Guys, come on. You can't say anything!”
“Kurt, why should we care if that creep gets outed or not? He was horrible to you!” Mercedes asked, glaring accusingly at Dave.
“Yeah. He's the reason you had to change schools!” Finn said.
Surprisingly enough, it was Rachel that stepped forward. “As you all know, I have two gay dads, and I believe that makes me qualified to add to this conversation. Coming out is a big deal. You have to do it on your own terms. You can't force someone to come out, and you can't out someone just as revenge.”
“You all have secrets you don't want coming out. Think about it. How would you feel if someone told your deepest, darkest secret just because they wanted to get even with you.” Kurt said pleadingly. “Like you, Finn. How would you feel if I told everyone about that day in camp when you were thirteen?”
“Dude! You promised you'd never tell anyone about that!” Finn protested, a blush rising onto his cheeks.
“I know. But that feeling you have right now is the same Dave would have if you guys told about him.”
“Whatever. I don't care about Karofsky or his queer feelings. He's going down!” Puck said, rubbing his face where Dave’s fist had hit, the area already growing purple.
“Like hell, Puck. I still know dirt about you. And I know stuff about most of you in here! Remember that.” Kurt said, glaring at everyone in turn, even Mercedes.
“You have nothing on me, queenie.” Lauren said with a smug look.
Sighing Kurt turned to Lauren and shook his head. “No, I don't. But I know you'd want what's best for glee.”
She looked at him disbelievingly. “And how is this best for glee?”
“Because if you all keep quiet, Dave will join and help us win nationals.” Kurt said, flashing his smile like he just hadn't said his former bully and closet case was going to join their show choir.
“Like hell I am!” Dave protested. He was not going to join Nude Erections and their League of Lame.
“This might be interesting.” Lauren said and grinned, bumping fists with Noah who was also grinning like a fool.
“So you're saying if he doesn't join, or back out later, I can out him?” Puck asked.
“Yes. If he doesn't join, the deal's off.” Kurt said. “This way we know he won't run off the first chance he gets.”
Dave looked sick. “No! I ain't doing it! No way!”
Kurt turned to Dave and gave him a sweet smile. “You can chose, either you join, and no one will tell. Or, you can walk away right now and everyone will know you're gay by five. The power of tweet, I kid you not.”
Not knowing what to do, he decided the lesser of two evils was probably to join the glee club. He was thoroughly defeated and his shoulders slumped as he looked at the floor. “Whatever... I'll join...”
“Fabulous!” Kurt said and clapped his hands.
“Wait a second... can he even sing?” Rachel asked, looking at Dave with big eyes.
Kurt laughed. “Oh, trust me. He can sing.”
“Fantastic! We should go back and continue to rehearse. We need to show Dave the moves.”
As Dave was pulled out the door, he glared at Kurt. “I'll kill you for this, Hummel.”
“You know, if that threat wasn't such a sorry excuse of a repeat performance, I might have been intimidated by it.”
“Whatever. You suck.”
“We'll see, Dave. We'll see.”
Fin.
This fic was inspired by radical_archer 's comment about the latest promo. (The one with the shove)
Title: Shove and Tell
Beta: The wonderful casket_faction . A Ninja Beta of epic proportion.
Word count: 4773
Pairings: None really. Hints of Klaine and Kurtofsky. (If you squint)
Rating: PG-13/R for swearing and bad language.
Summary: Blaine 'accidentally' outs Dave in front of the Glee club
Original comment by radical_archer : If Blaine, in the heat of the moment, outs Dave to the Glee club or something, it will be horrifying and fantastic. There will be a moment where you could hear a pin drop, and then Kurt will probably flip his shit as much as Dave will, only Kurt will do it verbally while holding back Dave, who will probably want to do it physically by putting his fist in Blaine's face.
(1 - I know the men's line of Choo's will be out in June/July, but for the sake of this fic, ignore that. :D )
The song Dave sings is 'Somebody Else' by Nordman. Please open it in a browser window and listen to it as Dave 'sings'. It's one of my favourite songs ever.
Shove and Tell
This had been a bad idea.
He knew it before he came here, but he hadn't listened to his instincts. He had been too desperate.
He had needed to see him so badly.
After he had returned to school and realized that Hummel had transferred, Dave had walked around the rest of the day in a daze, thoughts swimming in his mind. It was his fault. Of course it was.
The fact that Hummel had transferred to freaking Dalton had come as a slap in the face. It wasn't like it was the last place he thought Hummel would go. No. Of course he would go there. That's where his midget boyfriend was.
Of course Hummel would run to his knight in shining armour. The jackass who'd tried to out Dave outside. In the open. Students only a couple of feet away. The bastard Hummel had defended as he had pushed the little freak up against the railing.
Even though he had known that Hummel ‘didn't dig chubby boys who sweat too much', and whatever 'happily ever after' Dave had secretly thought of would never happen, it had still hurt as Hummel had shoved the stupid gremlin in his face.
Dave scoffed.
Whatever.
Soon enough he had tried to convince himself that it was a good thing Fancy and his faggy clothes and weird shoes and stupid girly voice had left.
That way Dave could be normal.
He didn't have to see him in the halls. He didn't have to seek out his scent in the crowd. He didn't have to stare, transfixed on those incredibly soft lips.
No.
Hummel gone would be better.
It hadn't been.
Every morning he had woken up from a cold sweat as another guilty dream plagued his mind.
Every day he had thought of him.
Every night he had fallen asleep seeing the slight frame and the beautiful smile that made up Kurt Hummel. If he concentrated hard enough he had on some nights almost been able to hear his voice.
No, things had most certainly not become better.
That was why he was here, in the control booth, watching homo explosion dance around on the stage. They were rehearsing some new number, singing some gay song, just like usual.
Only...
Today there were two additions to the club.
Lame McShorty-Pants and... Hummel.
No... Kurt.
He hadn't seen him in so long, he had almost feared he'd forget the way he looked. The way he laughed. The way he moved, that tantalizing sway of his hips. His perfect hair and his soft, soft skin.
Dave sighed.
He sunk down onto a chair, elbows on his knees as he dug the heels of his palms into his eyes.
This was so lame! Lame! Lame! Lame! He repeated the words his mind again and again, trying to suppress the urge to just run down there and join the freaks. To show Kurt that he could be like that gelled fratboy.
To sing. Hell, he'd even dance if that meant Kurt would look at him!
He groaned as he recalled the horror-struck look Kurt had after the kiss that time in the locker room. He wanted to punch himself for not being able to control his emotions where Kurt was concerned. After that it had all gone downhill.
He was such a screwup, it was pathetic!
Not knowing how he could ever repent, Dave had just decided to try and push Kurt as far away from him as possible. That and try to intimidate him into never tell anyone of that one moment of true bliss in Dave’s life. His most shameful moment.
He leaned his head back onto the wall he ran a hand across his face, glaring up at the fluorescent lights, as if urging them to give him an answer to his problems.
They did not.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting his mind go blank.
“I wish that I could be a better kind of man,
a different kind of person
that I already am.
I wish that I could tell you,
the way I feel inside.
I got so many wishes,
I wish that I could hide.
I wish that I could be somebody else,
somebody else, yeah.
I wish that I could be somebody better than myself
somebody strong enough to hold you up,
and catch you when you fall.
If I could be somebody else I could do anything at all ”
His voice, deep and pained carried throughout the small room as he sang. Thinking of how he had treated Kurt, how he didn't deserve redemption, but wanting to make it all right somehow.
“I listen to my heart,
but I don't hear a sound.
'Cause all my expectations,
they only drag me down.
I listen for your footsteps,
I reach out for your hand.
I can't believe that someone
would have me as I am.
I wish that I could be somebody else,
somebody else, yeah.
Wish that I could be somebody better than myself,
somebody strong enough to hold you up
and catch you when you fall.
If I could be somebody else I could do anything:
I could spread my wings and fly like a bird.
I could shine like a star and light up the world,
heal the sick, save the children and feed the poor,
give them all a little love, instead of the war.
Fix my nose, dye my hear and cut out the crap.
Get my shit together and call it a wrap.
People gotta do what people gotta do
all I want to do is be a lot better for you ”
“I wish that I could be somebody else,
somebody else, yeah.
Somebody younger, thinner, richer,
someone better than myself.
Somebody strong enough to hold you up
and catch you when you fall.
If I could be somebody else
I could do anything at all.
I wish that I could be somebody else, somebody else,
somebody younger, thinner, richer,
someone better than myself.
Somebody strong enough to hold you up,
and catch you when you fall.
If I could be somebody else I could do anything at all.
Anything at all.
Anything at all.”
As he let the last notes die down he ran a hand across his face once more. “God, I'm such a stupid jackass, aren't I?” He half groaned, half laughed to himself before slowly opening his eyes.
“I don't really know why you're a jackass at this particular instance, but from previous incidents I'd say the judgement is pretty accurate.”
The soft, yet snarky voice made Dave turn his head towards the door, eyes wide.
It was like Dave’s mind was playing tricks on him.
Horrible, cruel tricks.
He blinked. “Hummel?”
Kurt rolled his eyes, wrapping his arms across his chest as he studied Karofsky. “At least we know that being a complete jackass hasn't affected your brilliant mind. Yes, me Hummel. You Karofsky.”
“What do you want?” Dave asked tiredly, not getting up from his chair, unsure if Kurt would take it as a threatening motion at all. He felt his stomach clench at the notion that he might have to analyse everything he did so it wouldn't frighten Kurt.
“Obviously, I want to know why you're spying on the Glee club. Are you in cahoots with Coach Sylvester? Is she leaking our set list again?” Kurt drawled, inspecting his manicured fingernails instead of looking at Dave.
“Leak what?” He wondered as he tried very hard not to look at Kurt. He wasn't entirely successful, but he wasn't straight out staring either, so it had to count for something. “Why would I be in cahoots with Coach Sylvester?” God, didn't Kurt know how absolutely gorgeous he was looking right now?
Kurt looked up from his nails only to send Dave a scathing look of mistrust and annoyance. “Probably because you hate Glee.”
Shaking his head, Dave met Kurt's stare head on. “I may be a lot of things, a jock and a bully, but I ain't no cheat.” He placed a hand on the back of his neck as he stood up. “Listen,” he began awkwardly, tearing his eyes away from Kurt's. “I... about before... I never... Fuck, this is hard.” He pulled his hand down from behind his neck in frustration, letting it fall listlessly to the side in a, hopefully, non threatening way. “I'm sorry, okay? I was an ass and I never should have done those things to you. And the... threat... I just want you to know that I never meant it. I was just scared and confused. I know that doesn't excuse it or anything, but I need you to understand that I'd never hurt you. Not... not for real...”
A bit taken aback by Karofsky's unexpected apology, Kurt just stared at him for a few seconds before finding his voice. “I... appreciate the apology. You're right in that it doesn't excuse anything, but I'm happy you seem to have come this far at least.”
Rubbing the toes of his left shoe against an imaginary stain on the carpet, Dave was shocked to hear Kurt talk back to him in an almost normal voice. He had expected the boy to throw his apology in his face and storm out, running to his boyfriend. Now, as the scenario he had pictured in his head had been thrown out the window, Dave had no idea how to react. “Um... thanks...”
“Well, apology aside, you're still an ass. I'd like to know that you won't hunt me down in the hallways and push me into lockers any time you see me, though. No matter who you are, or how hard it is to figure that out, you can't go around being a bully.“ Kurt's voice was challenging, as if he was daring Karofsky to say no. Kurt knew that he should probably be nicer to his former bully. There really wasn't a good idea to purposely annoy someone who could quite literally snap you in half. Even so, he was not going to let David Karofsky intimidate him any more.
David rolled his eyes and a tiny smile crept onto his lips. “If that's what I get when you accept my apology, I'd hate to know what you'd said to cut me down if you threw it back in my face.”
“There's still time if you'd like to find out.” Kurt said haughtily, but Dave could hear a hint of humour in his voice.
To Dave, that was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever heard. “Thanks, but no thanks, Fancy. I think I'll manage with one lashing today.”
Kurt tilted his head as Dave used the word 'Fancy', but as it wasn't said with his usual demeaning tone and the fact that it didn't feel like an insult, he let it slip. This time. “Well, if that's how you feel, fine.”
“It is, actually. And to answer your earlier question, no. I will not be roaming the halls, waiting for a chance to push you into a locker.”
“I'm glad to see you're beginning to reform, but I'm pretty sure that's not completely your doing. Right?”
Dave ignored Kurt's smug look and just shook his head. “If I bully someone, or whatever, I'll be off the football team, so yeah. Just isn't worth it, even if I did find it hilarious the way you flew into the lockers after a tiny shove.”
“Charming. Just charming. I can't believe nobody's snatched up a gem like you already. Unfathomable.” The condescending tone and the clearly superior look on Kurt's face made Dave all but lose it.
He broke down in laughter. He couldn't stop laughing, and the face of Kurt as Dave had doubled over and begun to laugh had been priceless. That's right. Fancy probably wasn't used to people laughing at him. He'd most likely expect people to fall onto their knees and kiss his Choo's.
Annoyance flashed in Kurt's eyes and he placed his hands on his hips. He didn't like the way Karofsky was laughing. Since he had an idea that the stupid jock was laughing at him, he liked it even less. “Care to tell me what's so funny?”
Dave tried to suppress the laughter, taking a couple of deep breaths before standing up straight again, chuckling to himself. “Nothing... just... your face looked so funny just then.” he said, almost going in for a second bout of hysteric laughing as Kurt's mouth fell open and a pale, thin hand moved to his cheek.
“What's wrong with my face?” he asked, turning to look at his reflection in the glass door.
“Nothing, Fancy. It was just your expression that was funny. No need for you to freak out, although that is kinda funny too.”
Kurt huffed as he turned around, eyes blazing with indignation. He crossed his arms over his chest once more, looking very much like a wronged child, ready to stomp his foot in annoyance.
The thought made Dave snort.
“Will you stop it with the laughing?” Kurt demanded, glaring at him.
Coughing into his hand, Dave nodded with a smile. “Whatever.”
Frowning, Kurt glared at Dave until the smile died down. “Thank you. You know, this is kind of hard for me to say, but you can sing. Why you of all people have such a voice will forever be a mystery, since it will probably only go to waste as you growl and huff on the football field. As surprised as I am to say this, I think you should join Glee.”
Surprise was not the word Dave would have described to describe what he felt at that moment. He was both horrified and happy. His mind began to battle his desire to be be close to Kurt, and his desperate wish to be normal. The tiny glimmer of hope that had begun swirling around in his mind suddenly died down. No. Kurt didn't need him. He had Short Stuff and there was no room for Dave. No. He couldn't risk losing everything just to be able to be in the same room as Kurt.
No.
He just couldn't.
“Do what? Join Glee? No way. I'm not committing social suicide!”
Kurt rolled his eyes at Dave. “Don't be such a drama queen. I may not be your biggest fan, but Finn seemed to think you'd want to join. Mercedes told me about how Finn talked to the guys about letting you join. I agree with him. And since I already got an apology, there's nothing stopping you.”
“Nothing stopping me? Except for the fact that my rep would go down the drain faster than Puckerman gives swirlies. Thanks but no thanks. I want nothing to do with you or homo explosion.”
“Whatever. If you change your mind, the offer still stands. We could use more strong male vocals.”
“I wouldn't count on it, Hummel.” Dave growled, temporarily slipping back into his old ways. He needed to get away from here. He couldn't keep resisting if Kurt continued to look at him like that. With expectation instead of fear. With annoyance instead of hate. With... mirth instead of disgust.
“What's going on here?” Blaine demanded as he walked inside, standing next to Kurt.
Fantastic. The curly-haired dwarf has come to save the day!
Fucking perfect.
“Nothing, Blaine. We're just talking.” Kurt said, a small smile on his lips as he turned to Blaine.
Not taking his eyes off of Dave, Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze.“You sure you're okay?”
Dave wanted to gag.
The fag totally did that just so Dave would feel uncomfortable. Who did the little freak think he was? Touching Kurt in front of him... “For god's sake, sparkle-pants, I'm not gonna attack him.” Dave growled, glaring at the shorter boy next to Kurt.
“Yeah? Looking back on previous occasions, your words are less than convincing!” Blaine said, taking a step closer to Dave, positioning himself in front of Kurt.
“Like I care what you think, half pint!” Dave’s eyes narrowed as Bland McBoring stepped closer to Kurt
Letting go of Kurt's hand, Blaine rose a finger and pointed it at the jock in front of him. “You know what? I'm getting so sick of you and your attitude! Stay away from Kurt!”
“Blaine, I can take...” Kurt was cut short as Dave loomed over Blaine.
“You know what? I'm done with this. You two princesses can go brush each other's hair or whatever fags like you do on your spare time. I have better things to do.” Fighting down his annoyance Dave shoved his hands into his pockets and took a step forward to walk past the pair, but he was immediately aware of the hands on his chest pushing him backwards.
“Oh Gaga.” Kurt said as he rolled his eyes at the two boys in front of him. When had Blaine turned into Neanderthal #2?
It didn't hurt, and he wasn't even shook off balance, it was more the audacity of the little freak that had him stunned for two seconds. “Get out of my face, fag!”
Blaine smirked as he took a step closer to Dave, getting into his personal space. “Funny you should say that, seeing as I should say it myself. Get out of my face, fag.”
Dave’s cheek flared red and his eyes narrowed dangerously. “I'm not a fucking fag!” He growled, trying to fight down the horror that had begun spreading throughout his body.
“Really? My mistake, then. I kinda assumed that people who bully boys they like and then kisses them are, in fact, closet fags! So sorry!” Blaine all but shouted in Dave’s face, a sick sort of satisfaction welled up within him as he saw the jock's face go pale.
“Oh my god!”
That was all it took for everyone in the room to turn to the door where all of glee club were now standing, staring at them wide eyed. It was so silent in the room, you could probably hear a pin drop. They all just stared at each other for a few seconds before all hell broke loose.
Horror had been the first feeling that had struck him. The second had been anger. Red hot anger welled within him and he lunged. Desperate to sink his fist into the smug face of the dweeb in front of him he moved forward, fist raised and an angry yell escape him. “I'm gonna fucking kill you!”
Kurt was stunned. How could Blaine do that? Didn't he know that one of the biggest no-no's in the gay community was to out someone not ready? If it had been a slip up in private it hadn't been such a big deal, but with the whole glee club behind them, listening in... This was bad... really bad! He looked up just in time to see Dave’s face go from white to red. It was like everything happened in slow motion. Dave raised his fist, took a step forward, and grabbed Blaine’s shirt with his left hand.
Kurt’s eyes widened. He knew he had to do something. He couldn't let Dave kick Blaine’s ass, that'd get the boy expelled. And as much as Kurt didn't like Karofsky... Dave... he didn't exactly deserve to get expelled this time.
Without thinking Kurt moved forward, placing his thin hands on Dave’s broad chest, trying to hold him back. “Dave, stop this!”
Blaine pulled free of Dave’s hold and took a couple of steps back. “Kurt, get away from him. He's clearly unstable.” Blaine said, rubbing his throat uncomfortably.
“Oh shut up, Blaine! This is all your fault.” Kurt shot back as he tried to hold Dave back.
Blaine's shocked face irritated Kurt to no end. Like he was surprised Kurt was mad at him. “What? My fault?”
“Yeah. If you'd never come gallivanting in like some knight to 'rescue' me from a perfectly amicable conversation, this wouldn't have happened.” Kurt said, trying for all he was worth to hold Dave back, but he knew he'd fail sooner or later.
“Let me go, Kurt. I'm gonna make pretty-boy better acquainted with my fist!” Dave growled dangerously.
A flood of relief washed over Kurt as Mike and Sam ran up and helped him hold Dave back. Finally he could take a step back and turn to Blaine. “You should leave.” he said, trying to fight down the annoyance and resentment he felt. After all. Blaine surely couldn't have meant it. It was just bad timing as the glee club showed up at that moment. He sighed.
“I should leave?” Blaine asked, a bit taken aback. He had only tried to protect Kurt, and now he was the bad guy? “Fine. But I think you should come with me. You've been through enough today. I'll drive you home.”
“Thanks, but I shouldn't cut my first day back. Besides, I have some... talking to do.” Kurt looked over at where Dave stood, held back by Mike and Sam, still looking like he'd rip Blaine’s head off if they let him go.
“Are you serious? Are you going to talk some more with the Neanderthal?” Blaine asked incredulously. “He's the reason you had to transfer in the first place. He couldn't handle being gay so he decided to declare 'Kurt-shoving' a national sport! He's a closeted asshole. You should just...” Suddenly the room got quiet once more.
This time the only thing that could be heard was the echoes of a resounding 'smack' as Kurt's palm had connected to Blaine's cheek.
The stunned looks throughout the room didn't hold a candle to the surprised look in Blaine’s face as the boy slowly raised his hand to place over the spot where he had been struck.
“You have no right outing someone! If Dave doesn't want to tell anyone, that is his business. I can't believe you of all people would do this!” Kurt all but screeched, throwing his arms into the air in exasperation. “Don't you get how horrible it feels when you think someone knows your secret? No. Of course you don't. You're Blaine, the perfect guy with all the answers. You should leave. Now!”
Blaine narrowed his eyes and glared at Kurt. “Fine. Do whatever you like! The next time he assaults you, don't come crying to me!” With as much dignity he could muster, shoulders squared and head held high, Blaine walked out of the room. The gleeks parted like the red sea as he walked past, all too stunned to comment on the scene in front of them.
As soon as Blaine had walked out, Dave pulled away from Sam and Mike, turning to glare at the rest of the glee losers around the room. “If anyone breathes a word of this to anyone, you're dead!” he growled, ignoring the voice in his head that told him to run away. He had to look strong in front of these assholes, or they'd ruin his life at McKinley. The only way he knew how to shut people up was through threats, although it hadn't worked too well the last time, but he was willing to risk expulsion over becoming the laughingstock to the whole school.
“Like hell!” Puck exclaimed, an evil grin on his lips. “I'm gonna make your life a living hell, Karofsky. Payback's a bitch, and apparently, so are you!”
“Say that to my fist, Puckerman!” Dave yelled and lunged for Puck. This time neither Kurt, Sam or Mike could reach Dave in time for them to prevent him from reaching Puck. Instead Dave slammed his fist into the side of Puck's face, making him fly into the nearby wall.
“Stop that!” Kurt demanded and pulled Dave back from the cluster of people by the door. “I'll make sure they won't talk, just... calm down.”
“They better not, because if I hear as much as a word, I'll...”
“I know. The Fury, blah, blah, blah. Way to be original.” Rolling his eyes Kurt turned to his friends. “Look. You weren't supposed to hear that earlier. You can't tell anyone about this. Okay?”
The room exploded into a cacophony of voices. All talking, yelling, at the same time, making it virtually impossible for Kurt to hear what they were saying.
“Shut the fuck up!” Dave yelled, annoyed.
“Guys, come on. You can't say anything!”
“Kurt, why should we care if that creep gets outed or not? He was horrible to you!” Mercedes asked, glaring accusingly at Dave.
“Yeah. He's the reason you had to change schools!” Finn said.
Surprisingly enough, it was Rachel that stepped forward. “As you all know, I have two gay dads, and I believe that makes me qualified to add to this conversation. Coming out is a big deal. You have to do it on your own terms. You can't force someone to come out, and you can't out someone just as revenge.”
“You all have secrets you don't want coming out. Think about it. How would you feel if someone told your deepest, darkest secret just because they wanted to get even with you.” Kurt said pleadingly. “Like you, Finn. How would you feel if I told everyone about that day in camp when you were thirteen?”
“Dude! You promised you'd never tell anyone about that!” Finn protested, a blush rising onto his cheeks.
“I know. But that feeling you have right now is the same Dave would have if you guys told about him.”
“Whatever. I don't care about Karofsky or his queer feelings. He's going down!” Puck said, rubbing his face where Dave’s fist had hit, the area already growing purple.
“Like hell, Puck. I still know dirt about you. And I know stuff about most of you in here! Remember that.” Kurt said, glaring at everyone in turn, even Mercedes.
“You have nothing on me, queenie.” Lauren said with a smug look.
Sighing Kurt turned to Lauren and shook his head. “No, I don't. But I know you'd want what's best for glee.”
She looked at him disbelievingly. “And how is this best for glee?”
“Because if you all keep quiet, Dave will join and help us win nationals.” Kurt said, flashing his smile like he just hadn't said his former bully and closet case was going to join their show choir.
“Like hell I am!” Dave protested. He was not going to join Nude Erections and their League of Lame.
“This might be interesting.” Lauren said and grinned, bumping fists with Noah who was also grinning like a fool.
“So you're saying if he doesn't join, or back out later, I can out him?” Puck asked.
“Yes. If he doesn't join, the deal's off.” Kurt said. “This way we know he won't run off the first chance he gets.”
Dave looked sick. “No! I ain't doing it! No way!”
Kurt turned to Dave and gave him a sweet smile. “You can chose, either you join, and no one will tell. Or, you can walk away right now and everyone will know you're gay by five. The power of tweet, I kid you not.”
Not knowing what to do, he decided the lesser of two evils was probably to join the glee club. He was thoroughly defeated and his shoulders slumped as he looked at the floor. “Whatever... I'll join...”
“Fabulous!” Kurt said and clapped his hands.
“Wait a second... can he even sing?” Rachel asked, looking at Dave with big eyes.
Kurt laughed. “Oh, trust me. He can sing.”
“Fantastic! We should go back and continue to rehearse. We need to show Dave the moves.”
As Dave was pulled out the door, he glared at Kurt. “I'll kill you for this, Hummel.”
“You know, if that threat wasn't such a sorry excuse of a repeat performance, I might have been intimidated by it.”
“Whatever. You suck.”
“We'll see, Dave. We'll see.”
Fin.