K/S Valentines Fic Post 3
Title: The Plan
Author: joec_mn
Beta: inu_spockya
Series: STXI
Rating: R
Length: 14624 words (Split up into four parts due to posting limitations)
Warnings: Swearing, naughty language, penis/penis contact, implied sex, implied rough sex
Summary: Valentines suck. Jim decides that the only way to get rid of annoying propositions is to fake a relationship with Spock. Now all they have to do is get caught in a compromising position by someone in the crew so the word will spread. Piece of cake. Or is it?
Previous
***
“That was a most erroneous declaration.” Spock's terse voice reverberated off the walls, making Jim jump in surprise.
“What was?” he asked, glad the tense silence was finally gone, replaced with... tense talking... yeah... much better...
“Your statement about you being susceptible to inquiries of a personal nature.”
Jim was confused at first before tentatively asking:“The one about the date? Why?”
“If we are to appear as a couple, would it not be prudent for you to not accept other peoples' advances in favour of my own?” They walked slowly towards the turbolift. Thankfully they were alone in the hallway.
Jim rolled his eyes. “I was trying to refer to you, in an obscure, illogical human manner.”
“I agree that it is illogical.”
“Yeah, well, it didn't work, did it? We have to try again.” Jim was growing frustrated; talking to Spock was like talking to a wall, sometimes.
“Indeed.” Spock shot Jim a sideways glance of displeasure.
“Will you stop it?” Jim growled, stopping dead in the middle of the hallway.
“Cease what, Captain?”
“Stop looking at me like I'm some sort of gunk on the bottom of your shoe or something!”
“'Gunk', Captain?”
“Never mind.” Jim sighed. “Come on, show me the smoulder. You can at least try to look at me with some sort of feeling!” he urged. He seriously doubted that people usually had to tell their 'partner' to look at them with affection instead of disdain and annoyance.
“I shall endeavour to do so, but I am unfamiliar with how one does so.” Spock said, peering into Jim's eyes, trying to do what was asked of him, but failing miserably.
Jim laughed as Spock looked away, frustrated. The sound of laughter made him snap his head back, glaring at Jim.
“Now that's emotion from the wrong end of the spectrum. Try to think of something you love, or have fond memories of.” Jim said as his laughter died out, trying to help the emotionally stunted man in front of him. Well, at least stunted in how to show emotion, if not feeling them altogether.
Closing his eyes, Spock thought of I-Chaya. Not his mother because that was still too painful a memory, but the large sehlat from his youth. The one he inherited from his father. The one who saved him from the le-matya, getting hurt while protecting him. The one who died because of his selfishness. The one whose undying loyalty reminded him very much of his Captain, his golden hair only a few shades brighter than that soft fur. He opened his eyes, peering right into astonishingly blue orbs.
Spock blinked.
“Wow, that was an improvement. No smoulder, but it'll do. Do it again, a bit longer this time.” Jim said, impressed at the amount of emotion Spock actually managed to put into the look. He didn't quite want to acknowledge it to himself, but it almost made him weak in the knees.
“I believe the Terran saying goes 'You talk too much'.” Spock said, catching Jim in between his arms as he placed his hands on either side of Jim's head, the bulkhead cool to the touch. Peering into Jim's eyes, Spock did not see the sapphire orbs of his captain, but the fuzzy face of the animal he once called a friend.
“Oh, and I suppose you can shut me up?” Jim's tone was amused, but there was an undertone of challenge to the words.
“I can,” was all that Spock replied as he tried to focus his thoughts on I-Chaya.
“In a logical way, of course.”
“True, but I have heard there are other... implements which deter one from verbal response.”
Jim gasped, half for show, half... intrigued.“Mr Spock, are you suggesting you might gag me?”
“Perhaps, if I found it logical.”
“Kinky.”
Spock could not stop the exasperated sigh that tumbled from his lips as he peered into Jim's eyes, now sparkling with amusement. “Why do you insist on referring to sexual deviance at all times?”
The smile on Jim's face could only be described as radiant. “Because I like trying to elicit an emotional response from you.”
“That would be illogical, as well as highly unlikely.”
Jim shrugged. “Well, can't blame a guy for trying, right?”
“Indeed.” Spock took a step back. The moment had been lost and he could no longer focus his emotions to emulate... smoulder...
They entered the turbolift, heading for the bridge.
Around the corner, Uhura waited for the two of them to leave. There was a small ache in her heart when she remembered the fond look in Spock's eyes as he watched the captain. She swallowed the lump in her throat. A look like that had never been directed at her during all her time with Spock. She felt a slight jealousy, but she knew it would pass as she was also happy for the two of them.
With so much hurting in both their lives, they both deserved someone to lean on.
She shook her head in annoyance. It had been a year, and the two of them still ran around the ship, being intimate and lovey-dovey and just so unbearably disgustingly in love. Hopefully they'd learn to keep it in their pants sometime during their five year mission, or else she might just have to gather an intervention. She knew at least twenty other people who would be more than happy to join.
She could also understand Spock's desire to gag the Captain, even though she firmly told herself not to go there.
OoOxXxOoO
Once they were on the bridge and their shift had begun, Jim did what he could to keep up the appearance of their (supposed) relationship. His eyes lingered on Spock just a bit longer than usual.
Otherwise nothing happened the entire first half of the shift. Five hours of absolutely nothing! He was startled awake by Spock's hand gently shaking him.
“Wha?” he mumbled, reaching up to wipe at the wet spot on his cheek.
“It is time for lunch, Captain.” Spock informed him, hand still on Jim's shoulder.
Jim leaned into the touch. “Don't need it. Lemme sleep until the break is over.”
“Negative Captain. I will accompany you to monitor your caloric intake, making sure you cease trying to consume as much sugar and fat as humanly possible.” Spock said adamantly, his grip tightening just slightly.
“Yeah, yeah. Why am I so freaking tired, anyway?” Jim complained as he stood, all but leaning on Spock as he tried to wake up.
“I suspect the combination of too much dextrose based food and not getting an adequate amount of sleep are the underlying reasons for your fatigue.”
“Well, thanks, doctor.” Jim drawled, nuzzling into Spock's warm shoulder. “Only because I couldn't sleep on my back. I hate sleeping on my stomach.”
“You seemed to have to difficulty sleeping on your side. May I ask why you did so?”
“Didn't want to put any pressure on my hip. I'm sure you understand.” He looked up from Spock's shoulder, grinning at him.
Spock stiffened at the reminder of how his carelessness had injured the Captain. He would have to place his incense beads at a more appropriate location. “I apologize.”
“Yeah, you should. I've told you a million times that desk is dangerous.”
“I have never heard such a complaint before.”
“Yeah, well, I would have had I known it was prone to mauling people!” Jim finally untangled himself from Spock, running a hand across his eyes.
“Captain, may I suggest we continue this conversation as we proceed to the mess, if we have to continue it at all.” Spock placed an incredibly warm hand on Jim's back, almost making him want to fall asleep and cuddle up to the Vulcan heater.
Jim shook his head to get rid of such thoughts, as they walked toward the turbolift. “Fine. Let's go then.” Once inside, Jim leaned against the wall, his shoulder touching Spock's.
There were two other passengers in the lift. Sulu and helmsman Lee, talking to each other in some Asian language. Chinese or Japanese, Jim guessed.
They might as well give them a small display of physical affection between him and Spock to solidify any rumours that might have begun to surface so far.
He reached for Spock's hand, gently tracing the outline of his fingers, fascinated by the small sparks of electricity coursing throughout him.
He felt Spock stiffen beside him, so Jim moved to let go of his fingers with a slight sigh. Spock surprised him by entwining their fingers.
Jim smiled at Spock who merely raised an eyebrow. They kept holding hands until the lift door openeds and Jim and Spock exited.
After the door closed Sulu gave Lee a look. “That was practically a full-blown makeout session for Vulcans, you know.”
Lee nodded. “It seems they are intent on finally going public.”
“Thank god. It's bad enough that we have to suffer their pining looks on the bridge, but the badly veiled attempts at trying to 'hide¨their relationship were driving me crazy. They know we know, and we know they know we know, so they should just get on with it and tell everyone.” Sulu sighed.
“If only the junior officers knew...” Lee chuckled, turning back to his report.
Sulu agreed. “Yeah, if only.”
OoOxXxOoO
“God!” Jim sighed. “ Are those two blind or something?”
“It was most unfortunate that they did not appear to notice our endeavours. We shall have to try anew.”
Jim groaned. “But how? We were touching at breakfast, but no one seemed to notice. We can't keep on doing the same thing.”
“Indeed, implementing a strategy which has previously proven unsuccessful would be illogical.” Spock agreed.
“The we should try another approach. No more trying to be subtle. We need to do something they can't ignore!” Frustration was beginning to permeate him. How come nothing was ever simple when he wanted to do something?
“Should we proceed to the mess?”
Jim shook his head.“No, let's eat in my quarters. I'll call Rand to bring us the... oh!” He suddenly went silent, his mind trying to process the thought springing into his mind. He then turned to face Spock. “We'll have Rand catch us 'in the act', so to speak. She'll never be able to be quiet.”
“Very well.” He inclined his head at Jim's suggestion and they made their way to the captain's quarters. Jim was too tired to order for himself, so he told Spock to give him 'whatever's edible'.
After placing their orders, Spock sat down on the lounge chair opposite to the small couch Jim was currently draped on, only separated by the small coffee-table in between them.
Jim looked up from his sprawled position, tired eyes watching Spock. “How about you get over here and we can arrange a little more physical display?”
“Negative, Captain. It would be illogical to begin sexual congress as our meals will arrive shortly.”
Jim stood up. Walking over to stand in front of Spock's chair he loomed over the seated Vulcan. Or at least he tried to. “Do you Vulcans do anything sexual at all? Except touching fingers? I mean, it's a wonder the Vulcan race hasn't died out from lack of procreating if everyone is such a frigid bas...mmph!”
Jim was silenced as Spock grabbed one of his arms, pulling the Captain into his lap, pressing their lips firmly together. At Jim's weak push at his chest, Spock pulled back. “I hear someone approaching.”
Jim barely had time to register the words before their lips collided once more.
Whatever Jim had thought it might be like to kiss Spock, not that he had ever thought about it, really(!), he had been wrong.
This was nothing like the slow, sweet kiss he had witnessed between Spock and Uhura on the transporter pad a little over a year earlier.
This kiss was... searing. It was the only way he would ever be able to describe it. Spock's impossibly hot tongue against his own as it gently, but firmly stroked his, making Jim moan just slightly, parting his lips wider.
The kiss seemed to go on for forever, but when they separated after several long minutes, Jim breathing heavily, there was no one else in the room.
Jim frowned, forcing his breathing to go back to normal. “Huh? Didn't Rand get here yet?”
Spock cleared his throat. “It appears I merely heard someone passing by. I apologize.”
“It's okay. At least I got a half-decent kiss out of it.” He smiled. Oh, Jimmy. How you lie to yourself he though. That kiss was far more than just decent.
Before Spock could answer, Janice Rand walked inside, carrying a large tray. “Captain, Commander.” She said, immediately beginning to set the meals onto Jim's desk, leaving with a nod once she was done. Not even glancing at the two men occupying the same chair.
As the doors closed Jim groaned, letting his head fall onto Spock's shoulder. “That didn't work. Why?” He was whining now, but he didn't care. He straightened, looking into Spock's eyes. “I had assumed that me sitting in your lap would provoke some sort of reaction.”
“I am growing increasingly fascinated with the lack of response to our displays. It would seem the crew needs additional training in perceptiveness, Captain.”
“You have no idea.” Jim laughed.
On her way back to the mess Janice Rand cursed her horndog Captain and his First Officer as none of them had the decency to wait until after their lunch had been served before jumping each other, saving her from having to walk in on them.
Thank god she hadn't dropped the tray when the door opened, revealing the Captain in Spock's lap, sharing a particularly enthusiastic kiss.
She had immediately retreated a few paces, watching as the doors slid close, hiding them both from view. She had then waited a full three minutes before stomping towards the door as loudly she could to alert them of her presence before going inside.
Thank god they had at least stopped kissing.
OoOxXxOoO
As they ate their meals, they discussed whom they should 'perform' before to get the most satisfactory response.
“Dr. McCoy would be a particularly verbal candidate.” Spock suggested, as he pierced a piece of tuber root with his fork.
“He sure would make a fuss. Possibly even get an aneurysm in the mile of one of his lectures.” Jim said, glaring at the plate in front of him as if it had insulted the size of his penis. “Are you actually serious in making me eat this?” he asked, poking his vegetarian sem'hal stew with his spoon.
Spock gave the Captain a look that suggested it was usually reserved for especially petulant children. “It is a proper combination of protein, carbohydrates and unsaturated fats. You should eat up. You will feel better after eating.”
“Unless it kills me first.” He removed the spoon from the bowl, it was now covered in a dark sauce-like substance. He held it in front of his mouth, his tongue sneaking out to place a tentative lick on the metal utensil. After a few loud smacks, the spoon was dipped into the bowl, this time a small portion of stew actually on the spoon as Jim closed his lips around it.
Spock tore his glaze away from the Captain as the man began to eat his meal in a most unsuitable manner.
The rest of the meal was silent, apart from the occasional noises from Jim as he started on his desert, algae puffs.
“If you excuse me, Captain, I will take my leave. I will see you on the bridge once the shift begins.” Spock stood up, inclining his head slightly before moving to leave.
“Sure. See you then.”
After Spock had retreated from his quarters, Jim stretched his hands over his head, stretching his tired muscles. With a groan he flopped back onto the couch. It hadn't looked very appetizing, but he had to admit that Spock sure knew what Jim liked. At least food-wise. Although the algae puffs had a slight after taste, he had enjoyed his lunch. Even the company had been pleasant, not to mention their activities prior to the meal had been... interesting.
He groaned as he felt the lower half of his body stir. It had been too long since the last time, and now he didn't have the time to take care of it. He sighed and tried to picture something.. anything... to make the physical reaction to this days events go away. After a few minutes, some very disturbing mind-pictures of Keenser in a bikini had done the trick.
He decided he might as well go back to the bridge as he had nothing better to do than count the minutes until the end of shift.
There were a few people who had already been relieved when he walked onto the bridge. Although Spock was not one of them, and Jim felt a small pang of disappointment that he quickly shook off.
He relieved the officer in charge of the bridge and took his seat, patiently waiting.
Twenty minutes later he was no longer waiting patiently. That ship sailed eighteen minutes ago. He was now thrumming his fingers irritably against the armrest of his chair. Shift started ten minutes ago, and Spock was nowhere to be seen. He growled in annoyance as an ensign walked out of the turbolift instead of his First Officer. “Hey, you!” he called out to the young man who stiffened and slowly turned around.
“I-I'm terribly sorry for being late, Captain... It won't happen again.” the man stammered, eyes wide in horror, as if he could feel Jim's annoyance.
Or the man was hiding something.
It was a totally illogical feeling but his gut told him there was more to the ensign's nervousness than just being tardy. Jim narrowed his eyes. “Have you seen Mr. Spock?”
The man visibly flinched, avoiding eye contact. “Um... no?”
Jim stood up and walked over to the now cowering ensign. “Where is he?” he demanded, voice dangerously low.
That did it. The man cracked. A stream of words flowed from his lips and Jim had to strain his ears to be able to hear anything but a jumbled mess.
“IwasonmywaytoshiftandIsawyeomanBatesandCommanderSpockkissinginfrontoftheturboliftsoIhadtotakeanotherrouteCaptain.” The man looked just about to pass out from lack of breath, but Jim was too focused on what he had heard. Spock and yeoman Bates. Kissing. His hands formed into fists as he clenched his fingers info his palms, nails digging into the flesh.
He said nothing as he returned to his chair, his eyes darkening by the minute.
The next few minutes passed at an excruciatingly slow pace, and Jim had had ample time to work himself into quite a state. How dare Spock kiss some floozy and ruin their plan? He had a thing or two to explain to his dear first officer.
The bridge held a collective breath as Spock walked out of the turbolift.
“Finally here, Mr. Spock?” Jim asked, his tone clipped.
“I apologize for my tardiness Captain, I was... held up.”
Jim clenched his teeth, standing up he approaches Spock. “I bet you were.”
“Captain?”
“Don't you 'Captain' me! You can do whatever the hell you want with your yeoman as long as it doesn't interfere with your duties, Mr. Spock!” Jim growled, crossing his arms over his chest, a challenging glare directed at Spock.
“I can assure you, what I wanted had nothing to do with any incident concerning yeoman Bates. She caught me by surprise.”
“Then you should report her instead of sticking your tongue down her throat!” Jim shots back.
“I did no such thing, Captain. While we are on the subject, I would advise you to report those who not only propositioned you, but also grabbed your posterior. If you allow such blatant acts of sexual harassment it would seem that you are indeed more torpid than your physical volume indicates.”
“'Did you just say that I'm stupider than I look?” Before Jim gave Spock a chance to answer, he continues his tirade. “God! I am so fucking tired of you and your god damned Vulcan attitude, you pointy-eared bastard!”
Just as Spock was about to respond, the rather loud sound of someone clearing their throat theatrically halted him.
“Boys, you do know that you're still on the bridge now?” Uhura said, doing a grave impression of a Vulcan as her face was void of any emotion.
Jim instantly grew red, his face a deep crimson. “Um.. I... we...” he stammered. This was so embarrassing! But wait, wasn't this a good thing? Maybe they'd believe their fight was more than just one of their usual arguments. Yes, this might even be excellent.
“You should wait until after hours to agree about who got asked out the most.” Uhura said with a disinterested voice before turning back to her console.
Or not. This might just be another horrible, humiliating event that made up the experiences of Jim's life. They had clearly not drawn any conclusions to the favour of their endeavours.
God damn it! Why didn't people ever misunderstand when they were supposed to?
Jim and Spock returned to their duties, neither of them noticing Uhura's eye roll or how Sulu leaned over and whispered something in Japanese to Chekov, who giggled in response.
The rest of the shift was uneventful, and as soon as his relief entered, James made a beeline for the turbolift, ignoring Sock as the man followed him.
Once the door shut, Chekov turned to Sulu, a gin on his face. “You owe me thirty credits.”
“Whatever. You're bringing the snacks.” Sulu grumbled, pointedly not looking at Chekov's smug face.
Chekov just smiled.
“Hopefully they'll be able to keep it in their pants long enough for them to reach their quarters. I seriously thought they'd jump each other right there on the bridge earlier.” Kevin Riley said as he stands up from his console. “Hey, Sulu, was the movie-night in rec room three or five?”
Looking over his shoulder Sulu smiled. “Three. I'm pretty sure I managed to catch the essence of Valentine's with this movie.”
“Awesome.”
OoOxXxOoO
Next
Author: joec_mn
Beta: inu_spockya
Series: STXI
Rating: R
Length: 14624 words (Split up into four parts due to posting limitations)
Warnings: Swearing, naughty language, penis/penis contact, implied sex, implied rough sex
Summary: Valentines suck. Jim decides that the only way to get rid of annoying propositions is to fake a relationship with Spock. Now all they have to do is get caught in a compromising position by someone in the crew so the word will spread. Piece of cake. Or is it?
Previous
***
“That was a most erroneous declaration.” Spock's terse voice reverberated off the walls, making Jim jump in surprise.
“What was?” he asked, glad the tense silence was finally gone, replaced with... tense talking... yeah... much better...
“Your statement about you being susceptible to inquiries of a personal nature.”
Jim was confused at first before tentatively asking:“The one about the date? Why?”
“If we are to appear as a couple, would it not be prudent for you to not accept other peoples' advances in favour of my own?” They walked slowly towards the turbolift. Thankfully they were alone in the hallway.
Jim rolled his eyes. “I was trying to refer to you, in an obscure, illogical human manner.”
“I agree that it is illogical.”
“Yeah, well, it didn't work, did it? We have to try again.” Jim was growing frustrated; talking to Spock was like talking to a wall, sometimes.
“Indeed.” Spock shot Jim a sideways glance of displeasure.
“Will you stop it?” Jim growled, stopping dead in the middle of the hallway.
“Cease what, Captain?”
“Stop looking at me like I'm some sort of gunk on the bottom of your shoe or something!”
“'Gunk', Captain?”
“Never mind.” Jim sighed. “Come on, show me the smoulder. You can at least try to look at me with some sort of feeling!” he urged. He seriously doubted that people usually had to tell their 'partner' to look at them with affection instead of disdain and annoyance.
“I shall endeavour to do so, but I am unfamiliar with how one does so.” Spock said, peering into Jim's eyes, trying to do what was asked of him, but failing miserably.
Jim laughed as Spock looked away, frustrated. The sound of laughter made him snap his head back, glaring at Jim.
“Now that's emotion from the wrong end of the spectrum. Try to think of something you love, or have fond memories of.” Jim said as his laughter died out, trying to help the emotionally stunted man in front of him. Well, at least stunted in how to show emotion, if not feeling them altogether.
Closing his eyes, Spock thought of I-Chaya. Not his mother because that was still too painful a memory, but the large sehlat from his youth. The one he inherited from his father. The one who saved him from the le-matya, getting hurt while protecting him. The one who died because of his selfishness. The one whose undying loyalty reminded him very much of his Captain, his golden hair only a few shades brighter than that soft fur. He opened his eyes, peering right into astonishingly blue orbs.
Spock blinked.
“Wow, that was an improvement. No smoulder, but it'll do. Do it again, a bit longer this time.” Jim said, impressed at the amount of emotion Spock actually managed to put into the look. He didn't quite want to acknowledge it to himself, but it almost made him weak in the knees.
“I believe the Terran saying goes 'You talk too much'.” Spock said, catching Jim in between his arms as he placed his hands on either side of Jim's head, the bulkhead cool to the touch. Peering into Jim's eyes, Spock did not see the sapphire orbs of his captain, but the fuzzy face of the animal he once called a friend.
“Oh, and I suppose you can shut me up?” Jim's tone was amused, but there was an undertone of challenge to the words.
“I can,” was all that Spock replied as he tried to focus his thoughts on I-Chaya.
“In a logical way, of course.”
“True, but I have heard there are other... implements which deter one from verbal response.”
Jim gasped, half for show, half... intrigued.“Mr Spock, are you suggesting you might gag me?”
“Perhaps, if I found it logical.”
“Kinky.”
Spock could not stop the exasperated sigh that tumbled from his lips as he peered into Jim's eyes, now sparkling with amusement. “Why do you insist on referring to sexual deviance at all times?”
The smile on Jim's face could only be described as radiant. “Because I like trying to elicit an emotional response from you.”
“That would be illogical, as well as highly unlikely.”
Jim shrugged. “Well, can't blame a guy for trying, right?”
“Indeed.” Spock took a step back. The moment had been lost and he could no longer focus his emotions to emulate... smoulder...
They entered the turbolift, heading for the bridge.
Around the corner, Uhura waited for the two of them to leave. There was a small ache in her heart when she remembered the fond look in Spock's eyes as he watched the captain. She swallowed the lump in her throat. A look like that had never been directed at her during all her time with Spock. She felt a slight jealousy, but she knew it would pass as she was also happy for the two of them.
With so much hurting in both their lives, they both deserved someone to lean on.
She shook her head in annoyance. It had been a year, and the two of them still ran around the ship, being intimate and lovey-dovey and just so unbearably disgustingly in love. Hopefully they'd learn to keep it in their pants sometime during their five year mission, or else she might just have to gather an intervention. She knew at least twenty other people who would be more than happy to join.
She could also understand Spock's desire to gag the Captain, even though she firmly told herself not to go there.
OoOxXxOoO
Once they were on the bridge and their shift had begun, Jim did what he could to keep up the appearance of their (supposed) relationship. His eyes lingered on Spock just a bit longer than usual.
Otherwise nothing happened the entire first half of the shift. Five hours of absolutely nothing! He was startled awake by Spock's hand gently shaking him.
“Wha?” he mumbled, reaching up to wipe at the wet spot on his cheek.
“It is time for lunch, Captain.” Spock informed him, hand still on Jim's shoulder.
Jim leaned into the touch. “Don't need it. Lemme sleep until the break is over.”
“Negative Captain. I will accompany you to monitor your caloric intake, making sure you cease trying to consume as much sugar and fat as humanly possible.” Spock said adamantly, his grip tightening just slightly.
“Yeah, yeah. Why am I so freaking tired, anyway?” Jim complained as he stood, all but leaning on Spock as he tried to wake up.
“I suspect the combination of too much dextrose based food and not getting an adequate amount of sleep are the underlying reasons for your fatigue.”
“Well, thanks, doctor.” Jim drawled, nuzzling into Spock's warm shoulder. “Only because I couldn't sleep on my back. I hate sleeping on my stomach.”
“You seemed to have to difficulty sleeping on your side. May I ask why you did so?”
“Didn't want to put any pressure on my hip. I'm sure you understand.” He looked up from Spock's shoulder, grinning at him.
Spock stiffened at the reminder of how his carelessness had injured the Captain. He would have to place his incense beads at a more appropriate location. “I apologize.”
“Yeah, you should. I've told you a million times that desk is dangerous.”
“I have never heard such a complaint before.”
“Yeah, well, I would have had I known it was prone to mauling people!” Jim finally untangled himself from Spock, running a hand across his eyes.
“Captain, may I suggest we continue this conversation as we proceed to the mess, if we have to continue it at all.” Spock placed an incredibly warm hand on Jim's back, almost making him want to fall asleep and cuddle up to the Vulcan heater.
Jim shook his head to get rid of such thoughts, as they walked toward the turbolift. “Fine. Let's go then.” Once inside, Jim leaned against the wall, his shoulder touching Spock's.
There were two other passengers in the lift. Sulu and helmsman Lee, talking to each other in some Asian language. Chinese or Japanese, Jim guessed.
They might as well give them a small display of physical affection between him and Spock to solidify any rumours that might have begun to surface so far.
He reached for Spock's hand, gently tracing the outline of his fingers, fascinated by the small sparks of electricity coursing throughout him.
He felt Spock stiffen beside him, so Jim moved to let go of his fingers with a slight sigh. Spock surprised him by entwining their fingers.
Jim smiled at Spock who merely raised an eyebrow. They kept holding hands until the lift door openeds and Jim and Spock exited.
After the door closed Sulu gave Lee a look. “That was practically a full-blown makeout session for Vulcans, you know.”
Lee nodded. “It seems they are intent on finally going public.”
“Thank god. It's bad enough that we have to suffer their pining looks on the bridge, but the badly veiled attempts at trying to 'hide¨their relationship were driving me crazy. They know we know, and we know they know we know, so they should just get on with it and tell everyone.” Sulu sighed.
“If only the junior officers knew...” Lee chuckled, turning back to his report.
Sulu agreed. “Yeah, if only.”
OoOxXxOoO
“God!” Jim sighed. “ Are those two blind or something?”
“It was most unfortunate that they did not appear to notice our endeavours. We shall have to try anew.”
Jim groaned. “But how? We were touching at breakfast, but no one seemed to notice. We can't keep on doing the same thing.”
“Indeed, implementing a strategy which has previously proven unsuccessful would be illogical.” Spock agreed.
“The we should try another approach. No more trying to be subtle. We need to do something they can't ignore!” Frustration was beginning to permeate him. How come nothing was ever simple when he wanted to do something?
“Should we proceed to the mess?”
Jim shook his head.“No, let's eat in my quarters. I'll call Rand to bring us the... oh!” He suddenly went silent, his mind trying to process the thought springing into his mind. He then turned to face Spock. “We'll have Rand catch us 'in the act', so to speak. She'll never be able to be quiet.”
“Very well.” He inclined his head at Jim's suggestion and they made their way to the captain's quarters. Jim was too tired to order for himself, so he told Spock to give him 'whatever's edible'.
After placing their orders, Spock sat down on the lounge chair opposite to the small couch Jim was currently draped on, only separated by the small coffee-table in between them.
Jim looked up from his sprawled position, tired eyes watching Spock. “How about you get over here and we can arrange a little more physical display?”
“Negative, Captain. It would be illogical to begin sexual congress as our meals will arrive shortly.”
Jim stood up. Walking over to stand in front of Spock's chair he loomed over the seated Vulcan. Or at least he tried to. “Do you Vulcans do anything sexual at all? Except touching fingers? I mean, it's a wonder the Vulcan race hasn't died out from lack of procreating if everyone is such a frigid bas...mmph!”
Jim was silenced as Spock grabbed one of his arms, pulling the Captain into his lap, pressing their lips firmly together. At Jim's weak push at his chest, Spock pulled back. “I hear someone approaching.”
Jim barely had time to register the words before their lips collided once more.
Whatever Jim had thought it might be like to kiss Spock, not that he had ever thought about it, really(!), he had been wrong.
This was nothing like the slow, sweet kiss he had witnessed between Spock and Uhura on the transporter pad a little over a year earlier.
This kiss was... searing. It was the only way he would ever be able to describe it. Spock's impossibly hot tongue against his own as it gently, but firmly stroked his, making Jim moan just slightly, parting his lips wider.
The kiss seemed to go on for forever, but when they separated after several long minutes, Jim breathing heavily, there was no one else in the room.
Jim frowned, forcing his breathing to go back to normal. “Huh? Didn't Rand get here yet?”
Spock cleared his throat. “It appears I merely heard someone passing by. I apologize.”
“It's okay. At least I got a half-decent kiss out of it.” He smiled. Oh, Jimmy. How you lie to yourself he though. That kiss was far more than just decent.
Before Spock could answer, Janice Rand walked inside, carrying a large tray. “Captain, Commander.” She said, immediately beginning to set the meals onto Jim's desk, leaving with a nod once she was done. Not even glancing at the two men occupying the same chair.
As the doors closed Jim groaned, letting his head fall onto Spock's shoulder. “That didn't work. Why?” He was whining now, but he didn't care. He straightened, looking into Spock's eyes. “I had assumed that me sitting in your lap would provoke some sort of reaction.”
“I am growing increasingly fascinated with the lack of response to our displays. It would seem the crew needs additional training in perceptiveness, Captain.”
“You have no idea.” Jim laughed.
On her way back to the mess Janice Rand cursed her horndog Captain and his First Officer as none of them had the decency to wait until after their lunch had been served before jumping each other, saving her from having to walk in on them.
Thank god she hadn't dropped the tray when the door opened, revealing the Captain in Spock's lap, sharing a particularly enthusiastic kiss.
She had immediately retreated a few paces, watching as the doors slid close, hiding them both from view. She had then waited a full three minutes before stomping towards the door as loudly she could to alert them of her presence before going inside.
Thank god they had at least stopped kissing.
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As they ate their meals, they discussed whom they should 'perform' before to get the most satisfactory response.
“Dr. McCoy would be a particularly verbal candidate.” Spock suggested, as he pierced a piece of tuber root with his fork.
“He sure would make a fuss. Possibly even get an aneurysm in the mile of one of his lectures.” Jim said, glaring at the plate in front of him as if it had insulted the size of his penis. “Are you actually serious in making me eat this?” he asked, poking his vegetarian sem'hal stew with his spoon.
Spock gave the Captain a look that suggested it was usually reserved for especially petulant children. “It is a proper combination of protein, carbohydrates and unsaturated fats. You should eat up. You will feel better after eating.”
“Unless it kills me first.” He removed the spoon from the bowl, it was now covered in a dark sauce-like substance. He held it in front of his mouth, his tongue sneaking out to place a tentative lick on the metal utensil. After a few loud smacks, the spoon was dipped into the bowl, this time a small portion of stew actually on the spoon as Jim closed his lips around it.
Spock tore his glaze away from the Captain as the man began to eat his meal in a most unsuitable manner.
The rest of the meal was silent, apart from the occasional noises from Jim as he started on his desert, algae puffs.
“If you excuse me, Captain, I will take my leave. I will see you on the bridge once the shift begins.” Spock stood up, inclining his head slightly before moving to leave.
“Sure. See you then.”
After Spock had retreated from his quarters, Jim stretched his hands over his head, stretching his tired muscles. With a groan he flopped back onto the couch. It hadn't looked very appetizing, but he had to admit that Spock sure knew what Jim liked. At least food-wise. Although the algae puffs had a slight after taste, he had enjoyed his lunch. Even the company had been pleasant, not to mention their activities prior to the meal had been... interesting.
He groaned as he felt the lower half of his body stir. It had been too long since the last time, and now he didn't have the time to take care of it. He sighed and tried to picture something.. anything... to make the physical reaction to this days events go away. After a few minutes, some very disturbing mind-pictures of Keenser in a bikini had done the trick.
He decided he might as well go back to the bridge as he had nothing better to do than count the minutes until the end of shift.
There were a few people who had already been relieved when he walked onto the bridge. Although Spock was not one of them, and Jim felt a small pang of disappointment that he quickly shook off.
He relieved the officer in charge of the bridge and took his seat, patiently waiting.
Twenty minutes later he was no longer waiting patiently. That ship sailed eighteen minutes ago. He was now thrumming his fingers irritably against the armrest of his chair. Shift started ten minutes ago, and Spock was nowhere to be seen. He growled in annoyance as an ensign walked out of the turbolift instead of his First Officer. “Hey, you!” he called out to the young man who stiffened and slowly turned around.
“I-I'm terribly sorry for being late, Captain... It won't happen again.” the man stammered, eyes wide in horror, as if he could feel Jim's annoyance.
Or the man was hiding something.
It was a totally illogical feeling but his gut told him there was more to the ensign's nervousness than just being tardy. Jim narrowed his eyes. “Have you seen Mr. Spock?”
The man visibly flinched, avoiding eye contact. “Um... no?”
Jim stood up and walked over to the now cowering ensign. “Where is he?” he demanded, voice dangerously low.
That did it. The man cracked. A stream of words flowed from his lips and Jim had to strain his ears to be able to hear anything but a jumbled mess.
“IwasonmywaytoshiftandIsawyeomanBatesandCommanderSpockkissinginfrontoftheturboliftsoIhadtotakeanotherrouteCaptain.” The man looked just about to pass out from lack of breath, but Jim was too focused on what he had heard. Spock and yeoman Bates. Kissing. His hands formed into fists as he clenched his fingers info his palms, nails digging into the flesh.
He said nothing as he returned to his chair, his eyes darkening by the minute.
The next few minutes passed at an excruciatingly slow pace, and Jim had had ample time to work himself into quite a state. How dare Spock kiss some floozy and ruin their plan? He had a thing or two to explain to his dear first officer.
The bridge held a collective breath as Spock walked out of the turbolift.
“Finally here, Mr. Spock?” Jim asked, his tone clipped.
“I apologize for my tardiness Captain, I was... held up.”
Jim clenched his teeth, standing up he approaches Spock. “I bet you were.”
“Captain?”
“Don't you 'Captain' me! You can do whatever the hell you want with your yeoman as long as it doesn't interfere with your duties, Mr. Spock!” Jim growled, crossing his arms over his chest, a challenging glare directed at Spock.
“I can assure you, what I wanted had nothing to do with any incident concerning yeoman Bates. She caught me by surprise.”
“Then you should report her instead of sticking your tongue down her throat!” Jim shots back.
“I did no such thing, Captain. While we are on the subject, I would advise you to report those who not only propositioned you, but also grabbed your posterior. If you allow such blatant acts of sexual harassment it would seem that you are indeed more torpid than your physical volume indicates.”
“'Did you just say that I'm stupider than I look?” Before Jim gave Spock a chance to answer, he continues his tirade. “God! I am so fucking tired of you and your god damned Vulcan attitude, you pointy-eared bastard!”
Just as Spock was about to respond, the rather loud sound of someone clearing their throat theatrically halted him.
“Boys, you do know that you're still on the bridge now?” Uhura said, doing a grave impression of a Vulcan as her face was void of any emotion.
Jim instantly grew red, his face a deep crimson. “Um.. I... we...” he stammered. This was so embarrassing! But wait, wasn't this a good thing? Maybe they'd believe their fight was more than just one of their usual arguments. Yes, this might even be excellent.
“You should wait until after hours to agree about who got asked out the most.” Uhura said with a disinterested voice before turning back to her console.
Or not. This might just be another horrible, humiliating event that made up the experiences of Jim's life. They had clearly not drawn any conclusions to the favour of their endeavours.
God damn it! Why didn't people ever misunderstand when they were supposed to?
Jim and Spock returned to their duties, neither of them noticing Uhura's eye roll or how Sulu leaned over and whispered something in Japanese to Chekov, who giggled in response.
The rest of the shift was uneventful, and as soon as his relief entered, James made a beeline for the turbolift, ignoring Sock as the man followed him.
Once the door shut, Chekov turned to Sulu, a gin on his face. “You owe me thirty credits.”
“Whatever. You're bringing the snacks.” Sulu grumbled, pointedly not looking at Chekov's smug face.
Chekov just smiled.
“Hopefully they'll be able to keep it in their pants long enough for them to reach their quarters. I seriously thought they'd jump each other right there on the bridge earlier.” Kevin Riley said as he stands up from his console. “Hey, Sulu, was the movie-night in rec room three or five?”
Looking over his shoulder Sulu smiled. “Three. I'm pretty sure I managed to catch the essence of Valentine's with this movie.”
“Awesome.”
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