on butches becoming men

[joeboi4u]

I had an interesting conversation today which led to an interesting conclusion. I was with someone who could be considered to be femme. But needless to say, she's female born, woman identified...the conclusion I came to was that as transgender men who used to ID as butch lesbians transition, the femmes (and the entire community include bisexuals,

Comments

[kori64]

Hey Joe.. I'm over here too! I like this post, because even though I ID'd as a butch lesbian b4 I transitioned, I never felt like "one of them", if ya know what I mean. I was in the community (clubbing, Gay Pride, etc) but didn't feel PART of the community. SO I always stuck out like a sore thumb, and didn't have any butch friends. All of my friends were femmes.
It wasn't until i heard about FTMS, that I realized why I never identified with the butches. Up till then, I just thought I was a major asshole, for real.

In the early part of transitioning, I was fortunate to be chosen to take part in an FTM identified film called Maggots and Men. I flew to SF and stayed there for a month during the filming of the movie. I met alot of butches that didn't ID as FTM, yet they had chest surgery and took "just a lil bit" of T, to get a little stache and to deepen their voice just a lil.
At first I got angry, because I thought of everything that I went through, almost committing suicide because I wasn't happy with myself, stoked as hell to finally be getting the right hormone in my system so I could be balanced for once in my life, and here these gals were just taking shit for granted. It was like a game to them, instructing one another on how much to take, so they don't get too "manly", and asking to "borrow" just a lil bit of T. But after a while, I just ignored it, and sure as hell didn't give them MY T *snicker*

I said alla this to say, that YES, there are some lesbians who hate us transmen because they don't really understand our process. I dunno how many butch arenas I was invited to on the net, only to get there and be bashed, or have hateful shit said to me (I posted such a comment on my myspace blog), or to have them be adamant in thinking that we're the same as them, just "taking it a little farther" than them. I don't hate them, and I hope on day we can all come together and just respect and understand the difference between REAL transmen (men who are gender "dysphoric") and butches who may be "male" identified, but still consider themselves to be, and embrace the fact that they're WOMEN. But on my side of the rainbow... we have a long ass way to go.

Good Post!

[joeboi4u]

I know what you mean Kori. For me personally, I never deny the fact that I'm trans or once was a woman. It is important to my life's history. But at the same time I am not a woman. I have a feminine side to my sprit as I believe most people have both masculine and feminine traits. AT the same time, I am a man with those traits. Does that make sense? Most butches I know don't have a problem with me until i say the last thing. That I am a man with feminine traits who once lived as a woman.

I find that most butches I know feel like they have to be in competition with me all the time because i have chosen to transition and they haven't. I could give two shits about what their body looks like. If they are masculine fine, feminine fine if they like men, women etc why the hell should I care? I just like to be around cool people. But they usually have issues with me or they are really transmen and are coming to terms with it. The last group are usually those who i befriend. Generally speaking though i haven't had as much trouble with butches as i have with others in the lesbian community.