Thoughts on getting engaged
So I'm at a loss trying to make this decision. I have 3 viewpoints in my head and your help would be appreciated. One, if i can successfully change my gender marker on my documents, that would give me some major male and hetero priveledge. So there is the thought that, "Why should i get married if gay people can't". But that leads to the second thought that many queer friends have told me. It is equally radical to "fuck" with the system and to navigate your way to gain benefits. This move could potentially lead to political clout later in the future. Plus, I will have rights over her children, she can gain benefits etc. So most people I know are for us getting married.
Then, I'm poly and I feel like people think marriage means that my partner and I aren't interested in anyone else. So, it's a marriage between 2 people and that's it. But us getting married has little to do with wanting to be exclusive. We have decided to be life partners. I'd rather marry my best friend as a partner than anyone else. She will, in some form always be there. Plus, despite all the crap, complaining, difficult stuff etc. I am still deeply in love with her. Perhaps moreso now than ever. And we both wish to share this with others as they come into our lives (in whatever from but partnerships for sure). Our vows would reflect this but it's still difficult. As Amanda has said, even if there was a 3rd (or 4th 5th) person, we'd still want a ceremony at least. So I suppose a ceremony could happen no matter what. But the legal stuff is still important.
So, what do you guys think? Go out and buy the ring? Get legal married after physical change? Just a ceremony. Seriously, you helpful opinions are important.
Then, I'm poly and I feel like people think marriage means that my partner and I aren't interested in anyone else. So, it's a marriage between 2 people and that's it. But us getting married has little to do with wanting to be exclusive. We have decided to be life partners. I'd rather marry my best friend as a partner than anyone else. She will, in some form always be there. Plus, despite all the crap, complaining, difficult stuff etc. I am still deeply in love with her. Perhaps moreso now than ever. And we both wish to share this with others as they come into our lives (in whatever from but partnerships for sure). Our vows would reflect this but it's still difficult. As Amanda has said, even if there was a 3rd (or 4th 5th) person, we'd still want a ceremony at least. So I suppose a ceremony could happen no matter what. But the legal stuff is still important.
So, what do you guys think? Go out and buy the ring? Get legal married after physical change? Just a ceremony. Seriously, you helpful opinions are important.