One way in which the future is truly superior: a Doctor Who and Donna ficlet
***
Donna stared at the strange sight. In this white, brightly-lit space, her most impossible fantasy had become reality. There was no denying it. Right in front of her eyes... Bloody hell! I never thought this...this just isn't possible...
She said a private prayer of thanks to whatever god or chance or luck had led her to the Doctor. Even though he'd promised her wonderful things, she'd never expected anything THIS good.
"I don't believe it," she said. She looked to the Doctor, expecting him to say it was a mirage or something. Of all the strange things she'd seen, this was...well, too good to be true. "This isn't... well it isn't possible...is it?"
"It is." The Doctor smiled at her. "I told you it was. Didn't I tell you? It's not only possible, it's actual."
Donna could hardly stop herself from jumping up and down like those women in the Weight Watchers adverts when they've reached their target weight. Or the ones in the tampax adverts that are so glad to discover they haven't got a big bloodstain on their white trousers, though they fully deserved one for wearing white at the time of the month.
She gazed once more in the mirror to take in the full, miraculous effect. "I can't believe it." She grinned. "You've taken me to a time when they've ACTUALLY invented jeans that bloody FIT me properly. On the arse and everything!"
"It's the nanobots in the material," the Doctor explained. "They shape themselves to the body of the wearer."
Donna couldn't restrain herself from hugging him, even though when she did that, she usually worried she might snap the little feller. "Is this why Rose fell in love with you? Cos I'm starting to see the attraction, you little genius you."
The Doctor looked worried. "Erm, no, I never brought her here. And, I hope you don't...because I don't..."
Donna laughed. "Don't crap yourself, Doctor, I'm kidding." She patted her bottom with satisfaction. "But seriously. You've changed my life."
The Doctor's active eyebrows beetled into a frown. But then he smiled. "I love you humans, I really do! You're completely...well, I take you to see the most fabulous sights in the universe, the most astounding places... but what impresses you most is a pair of jeans. It's brilliant!"
Donna shrugged. "What can I say? They make my arse look like two eggs in a hanky. These jeans they're..." She tried to find the words that would convey her awe. "If it was legal to marry inanimate objects, I'd drop down on one knee and propose to my own trousers."
"Well, actually, it is legal on some worlds... Praxaton, for example. They believe that every part of the world is alive. Nature worshippers. But...awful weather."
"Seems a bit daft worshipping nature then," said Donna. She gave one last twirl, looking in the shop mirror. "Right. I'm ready to go now. I'll take ten pairs of these. And next...."
"YEs, next...?"
"You can take me to the world where mothers don't ask you when you're going to grow up and get a proper job, and you always end up in the shortest queue at the supermarket. And there's always something good on telly, and your favourite actor never dies of an overdose in his pants."
"I'll do my best."
Donna whooped, and slapped her denimmed bum. "Alons-y!" she cried, and off they went in search of Donna's idea of paradise.
Donna stared at the strange sight. In this white, brightly-lit space, her most impossible fantasy had become reality. There was no denying it. Right in front of her eyes... Bloody hell! I never thought this...this just isn't possible...
She said a private prayer of thanks to whatever god or chance or luck had led her to the Doctor. Even though he'd promised her wonderful things, she'd never expected anything THIS good.
"I don't believe it," she said. She looked to the Doctor, expecting him to say it was a mirage or something. Of all the strange things she'd seen, this was...well, too good to be true. "This isn't... well it isn't possible...is it?"
"It is." The Doctor smiled at her. "I told you it was. Didn't I tell you? It's not only possible, it's actual."
Donna could hardly stop herself from jumping up and down like those women in the Weight Watchers adverts when they've reached their target weight. Or the ones in the tampax adverts that are so glad to discover they haven't got a big bloodstain on their white trousers, though they fully deserved one for wearing white at the time of the month.
She gazed once more in the mirror to take in the full, miraculous effect. "I can't believe it." She grinned. "You've taken me to a time when they've ACTUALLY invented jeans that bloody FIT me properly. On the arse and everything!"
"It's the nanobots in the material," the Doctor explained. "They shape themselves to the body of the wearer."
Donna couldn't restrain herself from hugging him, even though when she did that, she usually worried she might snap the little feller. "Is this why Rose fell in love with you? Cos I'm starting to see the attraction, you little genius you."
The Doctor looked worried. "Erm, no, I never brought her here. And, I hope you don't...because I don't..."
Donna laughed. "Don't crap yourself, Doctor, I'm kidding." She patted her bottom with satisfaction. "But seriously. You've changed my life."
The Doctor's active eyebrows beetled into a frown. But then he smiled. "I love you humans, I really do! You're completely...well, I take you to see the most fabulous sights in the universe, the most astounding places... but what impresses you most is a pair of jeans. It's brilliant!"
Donna shrugged. "What can I say? They make my arse look like two eggs in a hanky. These jeans they're..." She tried to find the words that would convey her awe. "If it was legal to marry inanimate objects, I'd drop down on one knee and propose to my own trousers."
"Well, actually, it is legal on some worlds... Praxaton, for example. They believe that every part of the world is alive. Nature worshippers. But...awful weather."
"Seems a bit daft worshipping nature then," said Donna. She gave one last twirl, looking in the shop mirror. "Right. I'm ready to go now. I'll take ten pairs of these. And next...."
"YEs, next...?"
"You can take me to the world where mothers don't ask you when you're going to grow up and get a proper job, and you always end up in the shortest queue at the supermarket. And there's always something good on telly, and your favourite actor never dies of an overdose in his pants."
"I'll do my best."
Donna whooped, and slapped her denimmed bum. "Alons-y!" she cried, and off they went in search of Donna's idea of paradise.