(no subject)
i have the craziest story ever. i was sitting at diner last night, minding my own business, when suddenly this giant fat guy stumbles into me and pours his entire glass of water into my lap! needless to say i was pissed. so what i did is i grabbed his lovely blue-and-red-striped-tie and gave it a magnificent tug and watched his big old fat face turn lobster red as i cut off precious circulation to his brain. Veins bulging, eyes popping, gasping for his last few precious breaths, nothing much i could do then but finish the job. i mean how can you take a man so close to death and just let him go? there's gotta be some sort of climax to the whole thing. so what i did is i spun him around a few times, just to make him nice and dizzy, and gave him the most spectacular kick in the rear that any of those sorry saps have ever seen in their life, i guarantee it.