This is a real noodle scratcher
You know I was reading the profile on kid_vegas and saw how he said that he doesn't post any more because its a self indulgent slam board, and I feel the same way. I some times feel like I cant write about something because I am afraid of what some peeps will think or they will ask me "God whats wrong with you?" but I dont have alot of options or outlets I should say. But I have something that I need to write down because I want to chronicle this moment because this is a major turning point in my life, and not really a concern of any of my friends who read this.
I am feeling some fucked up emotions and feelings right now. Its a fucking shame to find out the last 12 years of your life has been a complete lie. When you have given up on all man kind. I had completely given up there being any hope in this world except for 1 thing. Then when you find out that te 1 thing that you still had a glimmer of hope in and te one thing that you thought you could count on with out exception. To find out that has been shot to hell, then what are you supposed to think? I understand that no one's perfect and we all have a certain amount of bad karma. And i have done my fair share of wrong things that deserve a little bit of bad karma but tis just takes the fucking cake. And to think of all the things I sacraficed that could have been something good, and passed on for something that turned out to be an untruth. All the other times, it was no biggie or no real suprise. This one deffinately caught me off gaurd, and just cements the fact that I am damn sure not about to change any time soon. I have deffinately lost all faith in this world.