pteradactyl porn
The internet is filled with horrible scary things. I’m Talking about porn here, god knows that there’s enough strange porn out there to make a five dollar hooker blush. I mean i’ve seen people in Zombie makeup going at it. I;ve seen three guys take a woman to town while wearing pterodactyl costumes, which is wrong for a number of reasons. I mean I’m nearly certain that pterodactyls never flapped their wings while mating.
There are only two reasons a film like that exists. One: Somewhere, there is someone out there who is actually aroused by the image of three men in pterodactyl suits banging a chick, or two, the one i much prefer because it doesn’t keep me awake at night: A great wannabe writer director of dinosaur science fiction is pushing his visions onto porn.
I have this vision of an Ed Wood type character with brilliant ideas. This guy who idolises Speilberg and Lucas and Hitchcock and Krubrick. This guy only had one dream in life, to make films. So he dropped out at year 10, went to film school where he began working on his epic, Escape from Planet Dinosaur. Part Lucus Sci Fi, part Ed Wood art piece, all Speilberg-ian awesome. For cash he makes coffee in a cafe, convinced that his movie, escape from planet dinosaur, will be his ticket out of that life.
He graduates top of his class with honours. He lines up an interview with a production company who are hiring new directors. He’s set, until he realises that this company he works for specialises in porn. So for a few years he does safe films, occasionally adding some flair to the camera for the money shot, using new and exciting cameras for deep throats, does things with anal never before committed to film. Despite all his good work, he’s telling himself it’s temporary. It’s REAL directing he wants to do. He’ll be the next Kevin Smith if it kills him, and then he will make Escape from Planet Dinosaur.
The company, however, loves him. They keep him on for nearly a decade. After that time he’s a porn director, and he’s never gonna be anything else. As this reality sinks in, he falls into a dark depression. His work steeply declines. His heart just isn’t in it anymore.
Until one day, it occurs to him. “What if I rewrote the script? What if I re write the movie to have lots and lots and lots of fucking in it?” suddenly he feels better. He grabs his dusty computer out and begins working blow jobs and orgies into his dinosaur sci fi epic. He takes it to the head of the company, who’s obviously snorting coke off one of his actresses because he LOVES it. He puts it into production. For nearly a year he toils, his passion renewed. After nearly 15 years he finally finishes his dream. As he edits the last frame into place he sits back and admires his masterpiece. Sure, the lead scientist and his gorgeous female love interest are now both female, sure, there’s a lot more cock in it than he would have liked, and sure there’s a scene where three anthropomorphic pterodactyls take turns dicking a woman, but it’s still his dream.
And, Mr insane porno director, I Salute you.
There are only two reasons a film like that exists. One: Somewhere, there is someone out there who is actually aroused by the image of three men in pterodactyl suits banging a chick, or two, the one i much prefer because it doesn’t keep me awake at night: A great wannabe writer director of dinosaur science fiction is pushing his visions onto porn.
I have this vision of an Ed Wood type character with brilliant ideas. This guy who idolises Speilberg and Lucas and Hitchcock and Krubrick. This guy only had one dream in life, to make films. So he dropped out at year 10, went to film school where he began working on his epic, Escape from Planet Dinosaur. Part Lucus Sci Fi, part Ed Wood art piece, all Speilberg-ian awesome. For cash he makes coffee in a cafe, convinced that his movie, escape from planet dinosaur, will be his ticket out of that life.
He graduates top of his class with honours. He lines up an interview with a production company who are hiring new directors. He’s set, until he realises that this company he works for specialises in porn. So for a few years he does safe films, occasionally adding some flair to the camera for the money shot, using new and exciting cameras for deep throats, does things with anal never before committed to film. Despite all his good work, he’s telling himself it’s temporary. It’s REAL directing he wants to do. He’ll be the next Kevin Smith if it kills him, and then he will make Escape from Planet Dinosaur.
The company, however, loves him. They keep him on for nearly a decade. After that time he’s a porn director, and he’s never gonna be anything else. As this reality sinks in, he falls into a dark depression. His work steeply declines. His heart just isn’t in it anymore.
Until one day, it occurs to him. “What if I rewrote the script? What if I re write the movie to have lots and lots and lots of fucking in it?” suddenly he feels better. He grabs his dusty computer out and begins working blow jobs and orgies into his dinosaur sci fi epic. He takes it to the head of the company, who’s obviously snorting coke off one of his actresses because he LOVES it. He puts it into production. For nearly a year he toils, his passion renewed. After nearly 15 years he finally finishes his dream. As he edits the last frame into place he sits back and admires his masterpiece. Sure, the lead scientist and his gorgeous female love interest are now both female, sure, there’s a lot more cock in it than he would have liked, and sure there’s a scene where three anthropomorphic pterodactyls take turns dicking a woman, but it’s still his dream.
And, Mr insane porno director, I Salute you.