(no subject)
sitting here. playing video games. after a day of a completely ridiculous magnitude. Listening to Cro-Mags and making myself stay up late because of the fact that I have this obsession with replacing sleep with video games. existing is extremely fun right now because I did nothing that rots my mind at all this weekend and even turned things down when offered to me to spend time with the people that I love to be around. but I have come to a brick wall because regardless of how happy not having to mess with my mind this weekend was I feel like I blew off some of my friends who enjoy doing that, which makes me feel like a dick. am I a dick for not wanting to drink or anything? I hope they could like get the idea that I like them just not the beer, right now. I wanted to stay sober so I can feel human and feel the punishment of harsh harsh grades completely ripping my summer in half. 11 month's of school? I hope not. to pass English I need a 76 to earn a 65 but im sure anything lower than that by 1 or 2 points 2.5 most would be good. who even knows about what’s going to happen with the rest of my classes. I think im doing halfway decent in some of them? English is the main priority here. then science. math maybe? then Spanish. then social studies.
fuck.
but then again maybe this vacation will be good for me. its a vacation that I could however do without because of the fact that im going to be getting horribly ripped apart missing Meghan. and im never going to stop worrying about her. who knows what im even going to do without her. i might not even leave my house most days. life sucks when you have someone and can't see them.
I really might start taking this live journal business seriously now because I mean look at me. I’ve been on the computer from 11 am to 7:30 pm. then I leave until 1 to see people then I come home and watch some of the doors movie and get bored of house good Jim Morrison was at being around people so as an escape from that dead dickhole I go on the computer. its my room. this yellow room. is ultimately mentally stimulating. I can't stop doing. im always doing this or that. I can't just sit at the computer for hours like I used to. so maybe I’ll do live journal things. that's productive, right?
reading.... I thought about it for a whole 3 seconds. reading a book. is it possible. that the boy that hated books could even read one in his SPARE TIME? spare time. I bet it would be good for me. innless its like some a star wars novel. maybe I’ll get books? could I do that. would it be good for me? I don’t know. only time will tell.
I’ve been writing so much. or typing rather. is it even possible for me to go on you ask. yes. its entirely too possible. scary isn't it. how much more Joe Nolan can you take. a lot. because this is an extremely watered down version. there isn't even pitch to the words. and don't even get me started on hand motions.
but regardless of pitch and hand motions one thing is extremely important is the fact that I have NO CLUE as to what I want to do with tomorrow or the next day or the next day but the day following that day. I know exactly what im doing. im giving you an update.
fuck.
but then again maybe this vacation will be good for me. its a vacation that I could however do without because of the fact that im going to be getting horribly ripped apart missing Meghan. and im never going to stop worrying about her. who knows what im even going to do without her. i might not even leave my house most days. life sucks when you have someone and can't see them.
I really might start taking this live journal business seriously now because I mean look at me. I’ve been on the computer from 11 am to 7:30 pm. then I leave until 1 to see people then I come home and watch some of the doors movie and get bored of house good Jim Morrison was at being around people so as an escape from that dead dickhole I go on the computer. its my room. this yellow room. is ultimately mentally stimulating. I can't stop doing. im always doing this or that. I can't just sit at the computer for hours like I used to. so maybe I’ll do live journal things. that's productive, right?
reading.... I thought about it for a whole 3 seconds. reading a book. is it possible. that the boy that hated books could even read one in his SPARE TIME? spare time. I bet it would be good for me. innless its like some a star wars novel. maybe I’ll get books? could I do that. would it be good for me? I don’t know. only time will tell.
I’ve been writing so much. or typing rather. is it even possible for me to go on you ask. yes. its entirely too possible. scary isn't it. how much more Joe Nolan can you take. a lot. because this is an extremely watered down version. there isn't even pitch to the words. and don't even get me started on hand motions.
but regardless of pitch and hand motions one thing is extremely important is the fact that I have NO CLUE as to what I want to do with tomorrow or the next day or the next day but the day following that day. I know exactly what im doing. im giving you an update.