(no subject)
Moving out has really made me see things differently and appreciate a lot more. Opening my cupboards and seeing like two bags of chips and a couple of cans of food, and opening the fridge and seeing alcohol, orange juice and left-overs, and then walking in my room and seeing my huge pile of dirty laundry has really made me miss home. You don't really really think about those things before hand. I kind of did but it didn't really hit me until that time actually came. It's nice to go home sometimes and see my family. I talk like I moved out of town and haven't been home in months but that's how it feels.
My dad is going to get Jesse a managing job at this new restaurant they are making. It's like Risky Business I guess. It's supposed to pay a lot. My dad is friends with the owner and Jesse is pretty much guaranteed the job. I'm excited for him, but then again I know it will make both me and Jesse feel cornered. My dad said tonight "Now this means that if you and Jesse break up, he wont have that job anymore" then he laughed. I know he was joking but it makes sense though. I don't think the guy would fire Jesse because he was no longer dating his friend's daughter, especially if he's a good manager. But just saying that kind of freaked me out. Jesse is already planning what he's bringing over for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. Which I think is partly because his family is in Wisconsin and he can't see them for the Holidays but still. When he hangs out with me and my family, he jokes around and talks with my dad and wrestles and plays video games with my brothers. He hugs my mom every time he sees her and it feels like we're married. Pretty much every night I sleep over at his apartment or he spends the night at my house. Things are going so incredibly well right now. They have been for a while which kind of scares me. I'm used to the drama that goes along with dating Jesse. I remember when he and I first started dating all I could think of was that he is totally not the kind of guy for me. He was such a jerk to me up until we broke up and then everything changed. How is it that we even work? He's 5 years older than me and he and I agree about pretty much NOTHING. But it does, it works. I'm really happy with him right now but I don't like the feeling of "this is it." I felt that with Thomas too and it scared me because I'm so young. It's different with Jesse though. He's 23 and already started to feel like he's past the partying age, past going out and having fun and dating and stuff. I'm not there yet. I'm not even at the age where I can really party legally. I'm 19. I'm still a teenager. I don't know why I'm thinking about all of this right now. I guess just sitting here on my parents computer waiting for my laundry to dry has caused to me reach some kind of realization. Maybe I'm just tired and need to stop worrying. Yeah. I think that's what I need to do.
My dad is going to get Jesse a managing job at this new restaurant they are making. It's like Risky Business I guess. It's supposed to pay a lot. My dad is friends with the owner and Jesse is pretty much guaranteed the job. I'm excited for him, but then again I know it will make both me and Jesse feel cornered. My dad said tonight "Now this means that if you and Jesse break up, he wont have that job anymore" then he laughed. I know he was joking but it makes sense though. I don't think the guy would fire Jesse because he was no longer dating his friend's daughter, especially if he's a good manager. But just saying that kind of freaked me out. Jesse is already planning what he's bringing over for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. Which I think is partly because his family is in Wisconsin and he can't see them for the Holidays but still. When he hangs out with me and my family, he jokes around and talks with my dad and wrestles and plays video games with my brothers. He hugs my mom every time he sees her and it feels like we're married. Pretty much every night I sleep over at his apartment or he spends the night at my house. Things are going so incredibly well right now. They have been for a while which kind of scares me. I'm used to the drama that goes along with dating Jesse. I remember when he and I first started dating all I could think of was that he is totally not the kind of guy for me. He was such a jerk to me up until we broke up and then everything changed. How is it that we even work? He's 5 years older than me and he and I agree about pretty much NOTHING. But it does, it works. I'm really happy with him right now but I don't like the feeling of "this is it." I felt that with Thomas too and it scared me because I'm so young. It's different with Jesse though. He's 23 and already started to feel like he's past the partying age, past going out and having fun and dating and stuff. I'm not there yet. I'm not even at the age where I can really party legally. I'm 19. I'm still a teenager. I don't know why I'm thinking about all of this right now. I guess just sitting here on my parents computer waiting for my laundry to dry has caused to me reach some kind of realization. Maybe I'm just tired and need to stop worrying. Yeah. I think that's what I need to do.