No Way Home 4/6
Chapter 4 Rehabilitating
Scotty and Nora had visited the centre before the move to see the place Kevin would be staying and the team that would be looking after him. He would be sharing a room with one person, but the hope was that this would encourage Kevin to work on his speech and provide a ‘buddy’ going through similar processes to him.
The team of speech therapist, physiotherapist and counsellor seemed very experienced and had a care plan worked out, based on discussions with Dr Reeves. Dr Reeves was now handing Kevin’s care on to the team, with the Counsellor Edward in charge, but promised to stay in touch with the case and available for Scotty and Nora to speak to - any time. The team were confident they could make progress with Kevin and were hoping he could be back home in a month to two months. How quickly progress would occur would depend on how well Kevin responded and how much effort he was willing to put in. The old Kevin, Scotty thought, no problem, this Kevin “I’m not so sure.”
Things did not go smoothly the first morning. When Kevin was moved in to his room, his new roommate, Tom, who they had not met before seemed cold and distant. He didn’t seem to offer much promise on the ‘buddy’ front. Everything in Kevin’s limited body language suggested he wanted to be anywhere but here. Scotty and Nora took him off on a tour of his new ‘home,’ which consisted of his shared room, the rooms for the other residents, the therapy rooms, a relaxation room dominated by a massive TV, which seemed to be showing an endless cycle of sport (Scotty wondered what the chances were of the American football being replaced by diving at least once), a small pool for water based therapies and a small canteen. The tour seemed to do little to lift Kevin’s mood. Scotty and Nora helped him in to his hospital standard high backed hospital chair, beside his hospital standard bed. While the centre tried to provide a more informal atmosphere than the hospital, it was hard to disguise that this was still very much an institution and whether they called him it or not, Kevin was a patient and not a very compliant one at that.
Kevin grabbed for his pen and paper:
“HOME”
Nora tried first, “Kevin that is what we want too, but first you need to get better. The people here will do that.”
Shaking his head, Kevin once more scribbled fiercely on his note pad
“HOME!!!”
Scotty bent down by Kevin’s chair, held his hands and tried to keep Kevin’s eye contact, although he resisted.
“You know I want you home, right?”
He waited for Kevin to nod his head in agreement.
“But you also want to get better, right?”
Again he waited for Kevin to respond. Eventually the nod appeared.
“Good, this is why you are here; they are the best at doing this. We have seen what they want to do with you. They can help you quickly by you being here. The more you work with them, the quicker it will be.” He paused to see if Kevin was still following what he was saying. Kevin replied on paper
“If I am a god boy I get to go home.”
Scotty smiled, the sarcasm was pure Kevin.
“Yes, if you like. But no one is punishing you, we think this will work and is worth trying. So please try to work with this a bit, OK?”
“Yes, I will try, but I will sulk.”
Scotty smiled and stroked Kevin’s hair, “Of course, you can sulk better than anyone I know.” Scotty kissed him gently on the lips for the first time since the attack and Kevin smiled in response, holding once more on to his hands.
Nora and Scotty left soon after, after prolonged goodbyes and Nora explaining in detail the chart she was leaving which outlined when which sibling would be visiting. Scotty wondered when Kevin would get some time to himself. As they left Scotty couldn’t help notice that the roommate Tom was looking even colder and hostile as they left. Scotty tried to say good bye but got little in response, maybe it is his injury that is affecting him he thought.
Nora drove Scotty to the restaurant, it looked like he would only be fifteen minutes late, which he hoped would be acceptable and raise little comment. As they drove, they spoke of the morning’s events. As he fiddled with his wedding ring, Scotty began, “We are doing the right thing?”
“Of course we are, I’ve been on the internet and the centre is good, best in the area. “
“I talked to him like a child back there, reasoning with him like he was a five year old.”
“It worked didn’t it?”
Scotty nodded, but also commented, “I didn’t marry a child.”
“Of course you didn’t and Kevin isn’t a child, he is just hurt. I know my son and I still see him in there, and I can already see fragments of him coming back.”
“I know, I’m just scared.” Scotty paused momentarily as he stroked his forehead, “I’m scared and I can’t show that to him, I have to be positive and controlled, I can’t express how I feel. I just want everything back the way it was, and I know that can’t happen. I’m worried about money, about my job, about next week, never mind next month and I’m so tired I can’t breathe sometimes. Now I have to go into work and be the boss, when all I want to do is crawl into bed and sleep forever.”
Nora pulled over the car and reached for Scotty’s hand. “You can’t be strong all the time Scotty. You need to say these things, ask for help, we are all in this together. You know if you need money just ask. I’m sure you must be going in to your savings and we can help. If work is too much, just stop.”
“Nora, thanks, I need to work, it gives me a distraction, I just wish it was a little easier. We are ok so far, but yes the savings are going down. I just feel we are very lucky that we have that option. All of you are being amazing, and if it gets to it I know we can turn to you for help. I am just realising now that I need to look after myself if we are going to get through this. I’ve hardly had a decent meal since this all began, the loft is a mess, I’m sure I look a wreck, so I am beginning to think about myself and what I need to do to look after me. Talking like this helps, but right now I need to get to work!”
“OK, sorry, let’s go, but I am very pleased to hear you are starting to look after yourself, I’ve noticed how thin you have got, how pale you look much of the time. You know I care a great deal about you, I don’t want you to see you struggle so much, so whatever I can do, you know to just ask.”
“Thanks Nora, thanks so much, I appreciate how hard this is for you too, to watch this happen to your son.”
“Sons, Scotty, sons - I meant it when I welcomed you in to this family.”
“We better change the subject soon, I’m about to start weeping and I don’t want to go in to work with blotchy eyes - again!”
“So what about them lakers?”
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Scotty’s next scheduled visit was late afternoon the following day, in his gap between lunch and the build up to evening service. He would only have about 30 mins to spend with Kevin, but was keen to see how the first day of therapy had gone.
He strolled in to Kevin’s room and was surprised to find the bed and chair empty, not just that, but all signs of Kevin seemed to be gone, his plants, his Lisa pillow, Nora’s favourite blanket, everything was gone. Scotty turned and asked the roommate Tom if he knew what had happened.
“They moved him”
“Where?”
“How should I know, ask one of the guys in white coats.”
As Scotty quickly left the room he could hear Tom laughing in the background.
Eventually, with the help of a nurse he tracked Kevin down to a single room in a distant part of the complex. Kevin looked happy to see him but anxious and unsettled. Scotty turned to the nurse who was trying to leave the room quietly.
“What’s going on here?”
“Things did not work out between Kevin and Tom, we thought it best to separate them and for Kevin to have his own space.”
“In 24 hrs, what the hell happed, Kevin can’t speak, so what on earth does not work out mean?”
As the nurse seemed reluctant to comment, Kevin passed a note to Scotty.
“Fag, Fag, Fag, Fag”
Scotty turned to the nurse.
“Did Tom say homophobic crap to Kevin?”
“Yes sir, yes he did”
“So why is Kevin the one in solitary confinement?”
“It was easier to move Kevin”
“Excuse me? Ok enough, I need to speak with the manager now.”
While the nurse went off to find the manager, Scotty checked on Kevin. As he stroked his hair he tried to make light of the situation, “not a great start huh?”
“Not nice”
“I’m sorry; I will see what I can do”
“Whish I could”
“We can work on that, get you back to someone who can tell the Tom’s of this world, where they should go”
“hell woud be good.”
As Scotty nodded in affirmation, the manager finally appeared in the room. Scotty stayed by Kevin and focused on staying calm during the discussion. “Can you tell me what has happened here; my understanding from the nurse, as well as Kevin, is that he was moved after his roommate made homophobic comments towards him. Is that true?”
“Yes Scotty, it is, I appreciate it may seem unfair, let me explain. Tom has been in that room for a year now and is on a long route to recovery, part of his frustration leads him to lash out at people. We felt for Kevin’s sake it was best to separate them, but given that Kevin had only been in the room briefly, that it was best to move him.”
“It hardly is much of a message to Tom is it, be homophobic and get rid of your roommate?”
“He is now on a final written warning and believe me, he makes one comment and he is gone and he knows it. I have identified a centre he can be transferred to if need be. I also appreciate that you would be unhappy about this move for Kevin, but the move to this room is temporary, tomorrow someone is leaving and Kevin will be moving in with another resident who we feel will be much better for Kevin too.”
Scotty turned to Kevin, “will you be ok with that, or do you want leave?”
Kevin thought for a moment and then with a shrug, wrote, “Give it try”
“Ok, then we will try this, but trust me I will be watching this situation very carefully, if there is a hint of any crap from Tom or anyone else and a lack of action, we will be out of here.” The manager nodded and promised to keep Scotty in touch with any issues, and to get Kevin moved as quickly as possible. Scotty looked at his watch and then turned to Kevin, “Sorry I need to get to work, I wanted to hear how things have gone today in terms of therapy, but it will have to wait till tomorrow. Is that OK?”
Kevin shrugged his shoulder in a way that indicated he was not overly happy, “sure”, he wrote hesitantly. Scotty kissed him and stroked his hair before leaving with the manager. As they walked down the corridor, Scotty discussed this issue further, bringing up the main concern in his mind, which he had not wished to raise in front of Kevin. “Look, there is a reason why I am particularly anxious about this.”
“Sorry, please explain?” The manager asked patiently
“The police are actively looking into whether Kevin’s injuries were the result of a homophobic attack. They have a suspect they are tracking down; he too got a written warning for homophobic comments towards Kevin, and then, may have decided to act on his hatred. I don’t want Kevin round someone who could act in a similar way. Can you see why I would be concerned?”
“Yes of course, I did not realise, of course you would have concerns. All staff have been made aware of the written warning given to Tom. We have a written policy on inappropriate behaviour, it involves the written warning, the moment Tom crosses over that line he will be gone and will not be allowed back in the centre again. I am afraid I think it is likely he will probably say something; he blames everyone for his troubles, when what happened was he got drunk and drove in to a tree. Once we can remove him, we will, until then he will never be left in the same room as Kevin alone. You have my personal word that I will be keeping a close eye on this. I know you and Kevin don’t need this and I’m sorry that hate has come in here. It is not what we want or what we condone. Is that OK for now?”
“I think so, I know you are trying to balance things too, what you have said has helped. Look also, the police want to come and speak with Kevin, they have been holding off under instruction from Dr Reeves, but I think they are getting anxious to see if he can remember anything from the attack and to show him a picture of the suspect. It would be helpful to have you or one of the staff looking after Kevin present when we do this, and for you to comment on whether he is fit for this. Can I keep in contact with you about this?”
“Of course, I was aware from Dr Reeves that the police are waiting to speak to him. I agree Kevin is still in a fragile state, but I think we can help him through it.”
After talking through some more practical matters, Scotty dashed back to the restaurant, trying to place his anger at the reappearance of hate somewhere that would allow him to get through the working day. While he was somewhat reassured by the actions of the Centre, he nevertheless felt uncomfortable leaving Kevin there and hoped he understood and felt safe. At least the Walkers would be with him for much of the rest of the day and he called Justin, the next Walker due to visit, to fill him in on the situation before heading back in to the kitchen. Justin promised to make use of some of his army training if Tom got anywhere near Kevin.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The police conversation with Kevin happened earlier than Scotty had hoped for; he wanted to delay raising the reason behind the attack as long as possible. However, Jamie contacted him saying that they increasingly saw Frank Muir as their main suspect and wanted Kevin’s help in getting a search warrant for the apartment. Scotty, after speaking with the care team, agreed and the following day, Jamie met with Kevin, Nora - with the counsellor, Edward, in attendance too.
The atmosphere in the room was uneasy as Scotty and Nora sat by Kevin and introduced him to Jamie. It was clear that Kevin was increasingly anxious as the discussion moved on and kept looking to both Nora and Scotty for assurance. Jamie tried to take things as slowly as he could, aware that it took time for Kevin to absorb information and to think of a response.
“Hi Kevin, first off, I am so pleased to meet you, to speak with you after everything that has happened. Scotty and Nora have told me so much about you; I feel I almost know you already.” Kevin smiled, but everyone knew it didn’t disguise his unease about the nature of the conversation.
“I am responsible for finding out who hurt you. We have been looking into this. One possibility was it was just a horrible random event. Someone hurt you to get your money - your wallet and watch was missing.” Again Jamie paused to let Kevin take that in. Scotty visibly tensed as he moved on to the next possibility and Jamie could see Kevin sense the change in Scotty’s demeanour.
“Another possibility is that it is someone you know.” Kevin looked completely shocked and simply shook his head in denial.
“We are not sure, but we have to look into it. There is one person we are looking at, someone you worked with at the senator’s office.” Kevin looked almost bemused by the suggestion.
“Do you remember someone you worked with called Frank Muir?” Kevin thought for a moment, it almost looked like connections were being made in his head, but after a few minutes, he wrote on his pad.
“Not sure”
“Ok, not a problem, I want to show you a picture of him to see if that will help, is that OK?” The question was addressed as much to everyone in the room around Kevin, as it was to him. Eventually they all, including Kevin, nodded their heads.
Carefully the picture of Frank Muir was laid in front of Kevin. The affect was almost immediate, Kevin began to shake and clench his fists, he threw up on the floor, as Scotty tried to hold him and reduce the tremors. What happened next surprised everyone. Kevin looked directly at Jamie and spoke calmly.
“Yes, that is him, that is the man who shot me”, and with that he passed out.
After a moment of stunned silence, everyone moved to get Kevin on to his bed and into the rescue position. Edward gave him some medication to sedate him briefly. Jamie realised he had the answer he needed and the others needed to focus on Kevin. He quickly made his apologies and dashed off to get the judge’s warrant that would give him the access to Frank’s room; he also issued an alert for all authorities to seek to apprehend the prime suspect in the shooting of Kevin Walker.
“What just happened?” Scotty asked Edward.
“The shock of the image has opened up something in Kevin’s brain, we see that happen sometimes. Overall that is good, but he now has a lot to get to grip with. It does not mean he will be speaking normally now, he will most likely still need to rebuild his vocabulary and communicative skills, but we now have something to work with. It also means I can work with him more closely to work through with him what has happened.”
Nora next chipped in, while trying to hold back the tears forming in her eyes, “Does this mean that the brain damage is maybe limited or not there at all, that he is, or will be, OK?”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, what just happened here is significant and does indicate that part of what we are dealing with is the psychological impact of the attack, but it does not mean that there is no long term damage. We also still need to get him walking too, but yes, this is good. Although when he wakes up I want to spend some time talking things through with him and see where we are at. If it is OK, I would like to do that with him alone?”
While both Nora and Scotty felt excluded by the request, they also appreciated why it was being made. Both just wanted to stay and speak with Kevin when he woke up, but agreed to withdraw for now. Whatever the restaurant thought Scotty called in to cancel his shift that night. He planned to come back as soon as he could. Edward again warned them to not get too excited by all this, but also knew that it would be difficult for them to leave after such a break through. As they left Nora was on the phone to the others as they left the centre. After Scotty’s evening visit, it was agreed all would meet at Nora’s to celebrate.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
After a few hours working in the restaurant in the afternoon to make up for missing the evening shift, Scotty rushed back to the centre to be with Kevin. Before entering the room, Edward spoke with him to update him on things since he left. Kevin was still speaking, although slowly and the words were limited, but his head aches had returned and he was on some pretty strong medication for this. The counsellor felt that his brain was trying to work through the returning memories of what had happened, which was good, but was just now leading to distress and anger. He asked for Scotty to stay only briefly and be prepared for some hostility, which was being targeted at pretty much everyone just now.
With some apprehension, Scotty entered the room, “Heh, I hear your head hurts?”
Kevin nodded, he looked as lost and scared as he had those first days in the hospital.
“Everyone is very excited to hear you spoke today, we are going to have a bit of a celebration later tonight.” As soon as he said it he realised he had said the wrong thing.
Quietly Kevin spoke “You should go then.”
“But I want to spend time with you; I cancelled work to be with you. We have not spoken for so long; I can’t tell you what a relief it is to hear you speak.”
“Tired”
“Of course you are, it has been such a big day, I also realise you are remembering some things that will be difficult to deal with. But I am here to help with that.
“It... Ok....... Just go...... please”
At first Scotty sat in silence, but Kevin was clearly uneasy. Eventually Kevin spoke again. “Go”
“Ok, I will, but I will be back tomorrow afternoon after the lunch service, OK?”
“Fine”, as Scotty bent over to kiss Kevin goodbye, Kevin turned away. Scotty felt he had little choice but to leave. When he left the room Edward was sitting waiting a few doors down the corridor.
“It didn’t go well did it?”
“No, he is speaking, but I feel like we just took several steps back.”
“How many times have you been told to be patient, this takes time?”
“Too many” Scotty vaguely laughed.
“Ok, well add another. This is not about you, the anger is at everyone, the whole world right now. His brain is beginning to work, but only in terms of making him feel very pissed off at life. My job is to get him through that and yours I’m afraid is to take it for a while.”
“At that I am becoming a pro.”
After some further discussion about what Edward would work on with Kevin, Scotty headed to Nora’s home. He decided to not tell them about the evening’s events and instead left them have their moment, after so long, of celebration. Nora however noticed his withdrawal from everyone’s cheers and feelings of joy. “Scotty, are you ok? Did anything happen this evening.”
“Let’s just say, Kevin is not exactly full of joy right now and is now ready to share his anger with whoever crosses his path.”
Nora took his hand, “You know you really are a very special person, but you get to be angry too, even at Kevin. The worse we can do is let him get away with lashing out at everyone, particularly you. So we be with him, we stand up for him, but we also stand up to him. He would want nothing else.”
Slowly tears flowed down Scotty’s cheeks, “It was too good to be true, to think we were getting back to normal.”
“It is a break through; it is worth celebrating, for all of us and everything everyone has been through. We just keep going and see where that next step takes us. So come join the others and toast to Kevin and the fighting Walker/Wandell spirit that has gotten us this far.”
Inside Scotty was still unsure how much there was to celebrate, but there was something about Nora that just took you along. He sat next to Saul, who gently spoke with him about all manner of things. Robert was there too, but without anyone saying anything, he held back, aware that the police were busy trying to track down a man he had let in to Kevin’s life and had done little to admonish when he first showed hostility towards him.
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Over the next three weeks the progress with Kevin’s rehabilitation continued apace. While his speech continued to be slow, he began to speak more in sentences and with a broader vocabulary. His memory was coming back too, but he still got confused easily and lacked comprehension of what certain words meant and how to make connections between different ideas and processes. He seemed to focus on getting walking again and this seemed to come quickly. The physiotherapist also helped him with some exercises to rebuild his strength and control over his limbs. Edward explained to Scotty why Kevin had become more focused on his recovery; Kevin’s own words expressed it too clearly, “to be safe.” The realisation that someone had targeted him had given Kevin the impetus to get better, but it was a bittersweet reason for Scotty, Kevin clearly had little expectation that he could provide that safety- and if he was honest Scotty realised he couldn’t either.
Scotty was pleased to see the progress, but acknowledged only to himself that he was spending less and less time at the centre. He gave the excuse that the restaurant was demanding he work more, but part of him also knew it was because the coldness which had re-entered Kevin’s approach to him had continued and was increasingly difficult to take. Scotty felt like, for some reason he didn’t understand, Kevin blamed him for what had happened and he could find no way to speak with Kevin that got past that feeling.
So when Edward announced that the team felt it was time for Kevin to go home, part of Scotty, a part of him he hated, was far from relieved. Was he bringing a stranger, a hostile stranger, back to their home?