The grass is dead, the gold is brown, and the sky has claws
This is getting to be so hard. I hate the feeling of lying to so many people that I'm close to. I don't understand why I can't tell. I feel like such a bad person. Then I also feel like if I do tell them, then they might hate me. Damnit. I'm even having a hard time asking my manager questions about what's going to happen aftter she's gone. Like, who's going to be my manager? What department will I be working for? Am I the only one? Why is it a secret? You know, all those. Gah!! I feel like I'm cursed with a huge burden, but I know it's so tiny. You're all thinking, you still have a job, stop complaining. But for me this is more about, all those people don't have jobs..... but they son't know that I do.*sigh* I think I'm going to go to church on Sunday. I was'nt able to go last weekend because of Canada, but yea. I think I need to. Let's hope I get to sleep a lot on Saturday.